Our nameless heroine (who once again I’ve defaulted to Mary Sue) finds herself in a predicament: she cannot properly fall in love! All her friends have boyfriends and she’s the only one left who is single. No matter what guys try hitting on her, she responds like a log and she feels like she’s just not meant for romance. Her friends tell her there’s a legend that if you go up to the highest part of the school building (aka the rooftop) and throw off a yellow handkerchief, Renai Bancho will come and solve all your romantic problems. Mary’s an insatiable ho, so she throws a rainbow handkerchief off and instead of 1, she gets 6 banchos + one in training, Yasu to help her get her love life back on track.

Renai Bancho – I did THE bancho first because he’s actually a pretty good character to start with! He calls the heroine “Angel” which is what I think a few bloggers have referred to her as but whatever, she’s forever Mary fucking Sue as long as she’s on my blog 😆 He’s fabulous max and all of his outfits including yukatas, swimsuits, summer vests are FABULOUSLY PINK! He has a fear of haunted houses and in his route constantly gets cockblocked by the other banchos whenever he tries to get intimate with Mary. At first he seems like this obnoxious idiot who doesn’t understand a maiden’s heart! Later on however you can tell it’s his back asswards way of caring. For example he’ll tell Mary to run around like a maniac only because he knows she’s worried about her weight and so he figured it would be good exercise for her. When Bancho runs off to solve other ladies’ problems she gets all upset that instead of giving him candy for Valentine’s day, she ends up getting sick. Bancho of course is very caring of his lady and comes over and feeds her some apples to make her feel better. In the Normal end, Mary fails to understand what is love~ and saying she doesn’t want to give up she decides she’s gonna repeat a year so she can have a good time with Bancho again lol. In the dream end Bancho tells her that while she’s not quite there yet, he still approves of her as his lover and they make out on the roof. In the Perfect end, Mary graduates and her teacher thinks she’s one sexy beitch. Bancho goes MIA for a month and then comes back apologizing and begging her forgiveness because he needed to go on a manly journey since he is about to break some Bancho rules and become her actual lover. So yea pretty much now Mary has him under her thumb doing whatever she wants him to xDD. YEA YOU GO GIRL (`・ω・´)ｷﾘｯ. I liked Bancho a lot, even though a lot of people didn’t. At first he was annoying but he really grew on me and he’s just oh so fabulous I can’t see how anybody could hate him!

Sawayaka Bancho – No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t unsee. Sawa calls Mary as “Honey” and he’s got his Sawayaka boys peanut gallery always ready to jump out and be his cheerleaders. They even rollerskate like some Johnny’s idols lol (omg did Kenn really do this in real life? XDXD). While he seems kinda airheaded with all his sawayakaness☆, when he sees her talking or getting friendly with other guys, he starts gettin’ serious. Actually that is possibly the best part about him and I looked forwarded to those scenes tremendously. He even gets rather randy at the October yukata scenario and takes her alone into a room to make out until his cheerleaders + Renai Bancho cockblock him XD. Since Mary’s too busy whining about everyone leaving her in Feb. he suggests they make chocolate together for Valentine’s day instead. Of course when she finishes making it, he’d rather taste the chocolate on her lips than anything else. ( ≖‿≖) So now suddenly other mans keep hitting on Mary which spurs even deeper into Sawayaka’s jealous meter. In the Normal end they break up, and then she joins the Sawayaka boys as their manager and goes on love solving adventures so she can at least be by his side. In the Dream end, he makes up a lie about a Bancho time limit where he can’t be with her more than a year, and when she hears this she confesses her feelings. He’s like lol I just wanted to make sure you love me and in revenge she grabs him and kisses him. YEA YOU GO GIRL. In the Perfect end, some dude confesses to Mary and Sawayaka gets all jelly so he hijacks the school announcement system and then meets her outside where he tells her he loves her and they smooch with the Sawayaka boys cheering them on. While I expected Kenn to yell out in my ear like Ten-chan did, I still liked Sawayaka even if uh a lot of people also hated him lol. He definitely had his moments and while he was kinda “wtf” with all his Sawayakaness I wouldn’t say it was a bad route to play.

Mysterious Bancho – Ugh this guy was a pain to sit through. He wasn’t mysterious in an “alluring” way, he was Mysterious like he was fucking trippin balls because he’s a FUCKING ALIEN. Seriously he’s an alien I have absolutely no doubt about it. On their first date, she comes to see him but he’s so busy trippin balls and staring at the starry sky that they fucking stand there for an hour until Mary decides this is stupid and calls out to him. The moment this guy opens his mouth I just want to press the force skip button. I have nothing against Ono Daisuke but this character made me dislike him slightly more lolol. Whenever you try asking him about where he’s from etc, he immediately acts like a dick and changes the subject. The only interesting part of the whole route was when he would pwn Do-S bancho when he tried to cockblock cause the asshat deserved it 😆 Mystie bancho would pwn the guy with like laser eye beams and electric shocks to get him to GTFO and once he was gone it was back to trippin balls o rama. It was so awful I literally fell asleep twice while doing his route sigh. In the Normal ending, he decides to go back to Mars or wherever dafuq he’s from. In the dream end he babbles about some shit like he has to “test her love” and we get this nice CG of him with his arms open for you to jump into them. (No thank you.) In the Perfect ending she calls him a weirdo (YOU GO GIRL LOLOL) and then they make out and sleep outside like a pair of hobos ~under the stars~. UGHHHH oh my god I wouldn’t recommend this route to anyone unless you just want Ono Daisuke to lul you to sleep (ㆀ˘･_･˘).

Pretty Bancho – Pretty was also a horrendous route to sit through – not because I hated the character but because KAJI YUKI JESUS CHRIST MAN MY EARS ARE BLEEDIN. ( ಠ益ಠ ) While Otome bancho is the official token trap of the series, Pretty really didn’t help matters by dressing like a lemon and then wearing clothes I think I could find in my mother’s closet. His nickname for Mary is “Hiyokochan” which is so ironic when he’s the one clad in yellow. He does want to prove that he’s not a trap and often he puts Mary’s hand on his chest to be like “look im flat chested hehe!” That’s not very convincing. I think the ultimate NOOOOO moment was when he was asked to model a wedding dress and he did it WITH PLEASURE. Seriously the heroine’s options were “oh it looks good on you!” and “oh my god this isn’t funny.” I was so happy to pick the 2nd one when “lowering” my affection during the Dream run because  IT WASN’T FUNNY. Ugh seriously when someone looks that good in a trap outfit, how can you even consider them a bishie worth capturing. （￣□￣；）！！ Anyway by this point I’ve stopped doing the Normal ends because the unlocked stuff wasn’t worth it so in the Dream end, I had to go back to redo Dec-Feb because my love experience points reached 5k and I had my saves messed up. I did like the dream end where they became a real couple and when they go on a date to a restaurant Mary asks him his real name. Of course he can’t say his real name is Kaji Yuki so instead he kisses her twice saying Sexy bancho told him this is a good way to shut some unruly lips 😆 In the Perfect end, the glomp each other as he says he’ll be her lover not her bancho and in the excitement his fugly hat flies off. Bleeehhhh  this was painful to sit through. I like when Kaji Yuki does his lower voice but clearly anytime they cast him, it’s so he can be a BOKU SHOTA DESSUUUU♥　ヽ(；´Д｀)ノﾔﾒﾃｰ

Sexy Bancho – Sexy won 3rd most popular character vote so I expected something really awesome but while it started kinda awesome it sorta waned into meh by the end? I think if anything, Sexy  Bancho shoulda been voiced by Suwabe Junichi, not Toriumi Kousuke. For some reason I have trouble associating Toriumi with sexy or maybe it’s just Sexy Banch was such a hornball I had trouble taking him seriously. Sexy is a college student so he’s the older one of the group (though I wonder how can Renai be a high school student? hes’ gotta be some ossan too…) He offers to tutor Mary but uh not in “school subjects” but erotica. Any girls who see him fall in love with his mass producing phermones and he even has his SEXY~! beam which he lets out a massive attack of hearts and every female in the nearest vicinity drops dead from orgasm. Needless to say, Sexy is the MANTHONG wearer of this game and throughout the game he often tries to make out with Mary and if not makeout, then leave like a million hickeys all over her body. I think the funniest scene was when they were at the beach and like she gets lost in the forest, he comes to save her in nothing but his manthong. So then he offers her some CHOCOLATE which let’s think about this….HE CAME ONLY IN HIS MANTHONG. WHERE ELSE WAS HE KEEPING THAT CHOCOLATE BAR. ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵ Erm yea needless to say after that I don’t think I could take him seriously. Even when the heroine tries to get back at him by like poking his weakspots during a massaging session, he pushes her down and almost has his way with her lolol. Yea poor girl just can’t win against the SEX. In the Dream end he almost tells her that his name is Toriumi Kousuke, but then he gets cockblocked by all the other banchos and they all go for Yakiniku. In the Perfect end, Mary enrolls in “Sexy University” LOOOOOL and apparently it’s because she also has some SEXY POWERS inside of her and she manages to do the SEXY BEAM just like him. ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ ＼ / ＼/ ＼ Oh man I couldn’t stop laughing. Oh and then they make out under the cherry blossoms but man Toriumi I am disappoint, I know you can do better. Oh well maybe Rejet wouldn’t allow him to do better rawr lol.

Tsundere Bancho – Voted as #1 in the character poll it’s no surprise. It was like you were dating a Tsundere Nakamura Yuichi ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵. Every single line out of his mouth is ふん！ and “It’s not like I wanted to…” lolol. He’s probably the best tsundere ossan character I’ve ever encountered. In addition he’s also a rich bocchama and when needed he has his butler at his command. Eventually Mary figures out how to work his tsundereness and she pretty much gets him to do what she wants. LOL MARY YOU ARE SO AWESOME. He loves cats but  hates zoos because he doesn’t like seeing animals trapped in cages (and because he can afford to fly to a Savannah to see them roam freely lol.) He’s so tsundere that when he gets sick, he asks his butler to bring him over to her house so SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM. ITS NOT LIKE I CAME OVER CAUSE I WANTED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF  ME ふん！糞ﾜﾛﾀｗｗｗ　For New years he bed intrudes into her place and they cuddle in bed together and THEN HE LEAVES omgg whyy. There’s a lot of these kind of cockteasing scenes in his route but a lot of them are so cute I can’t complain XD. So then oh noes scandal breaks out that Tsundere bancho is no longer tsun but DERE to his girlfriend! He’s shamed Japan’s Tsundere Association! He then acts tsun to everyone saying that he’s only dere to her and tsun to everyone else. This apparently solves everything and so in dream end, he says he has to “extend” their love lessons cause they’re not up to par so we get a blushing tsundere end. In the Perfect end, they go to his private beach where he hugs her saying he loves her and doesn’t want to be apart anymore. When other dudes start hitting on her, he comes at them raging and says that they now must live together and tells his butler to bring his stuff to her apartment. He says he’d rather live in a tiny space with her so that he can be closer to ichaichaing with her than in a large mansion ｲﾔﾝ☆(*´∀｀)σ)))))*3ﾟ),･´.､ The sad part is he never got a real kiss CG. The Perfect end had this pathetic “lean in” pic but yea he’s the only one in the game that didn’t get one. Why (´ﾟ’ωﾟ`)ｼｮﾎﾞｰﾝ. Otherwise I enjoyed Tsundere a lot, nothing like a blushing ossan with a goatee saying ふん！ in every other sentence.

Yasu – I saved Yasu for last since he’s the only one who was like a “bancho in training” but I’m glad I did because his route was the most adorable. 萌━ﾟ☆;｡+(*pq′ー｀)+｡;☆ﾟ━萌 Yasu is completely inexperienced when it comes to love and he tries to follow all dating rules….of Tokimeki Memorial. When Mary comes to meet him on a date before he does, he tells her to run away and come back running going “Sorry I’m late!” Lmfao this continues until Data bancho decides to cockblock and tell Mary that Yasu only relies on his dating sims and knows nothing else. Mary’s like “it’s alright bebe let’s learn together (ﾉ´∀｀*)ﾉ” Yasu’s so freaking excited and from there you can pretty much see the progression of how they go from just dorks to actual lovers by the end. Shit hits the fan though when suddenly Mary’s ex-boyfriend (who I didn’t even know existed – cause I thought she had NO LOVE EXPERIENCE SO WTF IS DIS SHEIT!?) shows up. He asks if he amd Mary could start seeing each other again and Yasu gets EXTREMELY UPSET cause he sees Mary as a real girlfriend, rather than how they’re supposed to be a “surrogate” couple. Mary tells her ex to buzz off and then for Christmas, she gives Yasu a pair of gloves. He gives her a necklace and after he puts it around her neck, he kisses her on the cheek. ||萌||ョ´∀｀。)萌えぇ～↑

Also the most memorable scene was probably in October when she went into the hot spring and then Yasu mixed up the female/male bath and ran right into her…while having “Cherry” written on his stomach by the other guys xDDDD. He freaked out and ran off screaming and then apologized profusely (。≖ˇ‿,ˇ≖｡　). Right before the endings kick in, Yasu confesses his feelings saying he’s in love with Mary. So then tn the Dream ending, Yasu asks to break up their surrogate relationship  but then at graduation Bancho kicks Yasu out of a helicopter in front of Mary. Yasu then confesses his feelings saying he wants to be her lover for real and Mary glomps him saying that she loves him too. He’s so happy he kisses her. In the Perfect ending, they make out on the roof after Yasu says he no longer wishes to be her surrogate boyfriend. Yasu continues his otome solving problems with Renai, but the man’s a bro and tells Yasu to take care of his raburabuness first before following him. So then on one day when he and Bancho go out on a mission, Yasu kisses Mary before running off. ﾐｭﾐｭ（´ε｀* )☆ Gahh Yasu was so adorable I had to seriously contain myself and I couldn’t stop grinning most of the route. I’m glad I saved his route for last as he seriously is my favorite character in the game. It was so adorable seeing him trying to contain all of his feelings and emotions towards the heroine. With most of the other guys sometimes I didn’t even know they were in love with the heroine until bam ending and it’s like lol wut you were in love with her? Uh okay if you say so （ಠ_ಠ）.

Yasu is the best so be sure to save him for last! Now that that’s out of the way, I recently discovered that the character designs in the game were actually based off their seiyuus. So let’s see:

Ok I’ll be honest, when I first played it I was like wow you know Nakamura & Terashii look a lot like their characters….JUST AS KEIKAKU apparently! 😆 Now that I know this I think that’s the most awesome thing ever xDDD Although I can’t say Kenn and Morikubou look anything like their 2D counterparts but I definitely think the other guys do so make sure you look at the characters and compare them to the seiyuu..you’ll be surprised lol. The game system is set up like Gekka where the characters speak via speech bubbles but unlike Gekka the fking text is actually in a readable font. The game was quick and fun to play but yea as usual I have gripes. Gripe #1 is the system. It’s different from Rejet’s Vitamin systems in which you have to have “saves” for your affection points. It Vitamin you could go back to any month to lower the points for the character overall. Here if you try to do that without saving first, you basically start with 0. On one hand, it makes getting Normal end easy cause you just start in February – but normal ends aren’t worth crap so that sucks! So yea when you play this game, when you have less than 5000 renai experience points, save in January for each guy to get their perfect ends and once you’re over 5k, save in November → load November and immediately skip to February so you don’t get any affection to get the Dream ends. Basically the first 4 guys you do you’ll have to go back to get their Perfect ends and then all the rest you’ll have to go back to get the Dream ends. It makes sense once you do it, but it was strange and had my friends not told me otherwise, I’d be raging because the game skips REALLY SLOW. I realize the game is shallow (lol let’s have a manwhore for a year!) but it would have still been nice to see more backstories about the characters. Particularly characters like freaking Mysterious bancho. There was also a lot of random plot details here & there that I really don’t remember the point of (like why was Mary constantly given candies to collect etc.) If you don’t think too deep into it though, I guess it’s a fun game where you can uh pretend to date your favorite seiyuu? XD I guess it’s a nice concept since Otomate and Rejet decided to do a sequel coming out this month, which I plan to play, so keep your eyes peeled for my review sometime in February!

Also I just realized the 3 “sibling” banchos are all voiced by a Suzuki…that was definitely not a coincidence 😆