Otome Game Review: The Exorcism of Maria ~Complete Edition~

Mary Crow is a young exorcist and she’s sent to a Japanese priest school from the Vatican to further enhance her studies. I don’t know why the hell anyone would send someone to learn about western religion in an eastern country BUT LET’S ROLL WITH IT! When she comes to Japan she’s given the name Maria, but Maria’s job isn’t just to study. Her job is to help exorcise demons that keep attacking the school, as well as attacking her. Turns out Maria is a demon magnet because she has a cursed blood flowing through her which is a curse that’s been passed through thousands of years in the Crow family lineage.  Fortunately the secret of Maria’s exorcism powers are the fact that she has contracted with a demon named Uriel when she was a loli. He’s like her pokemon who will go out, beat up the demons and then eat them as a tasty snack. All Maria ever does is just throw some holy water or smack them with a bible 😆 Unfortunately these little low rank demons are just busywork for Maria who’s now the target of an organization called Hellfire, as they are trying to use her as a sacrifice to summon the great demon Azazel.

dnomaria008And so now for the happy spoiler text dump because 80% of the game is like this one giant common route. When Maria first enrolls at the school, the main exorcist group,  Spiritas, headed by Priest Eflem (pardon my butchering of everyone’s names) doesn’t trust her. In fact they think she needs to GTFO because she’s got a demon attached to herself. They say they should exorcise her but without Uriel, the demons would just attack Maria and kill her. Eventually they all seemingly put aside their butthurt and let Maria join Spiritas. The Spiritas exorcists have a “diva” aka an angel that they contracted with who fights by their side. They protect the school from demon attacks and even go on missions to help exorcise possessed people.  That is, until one day, Hellfire drops by and tries to kidnap Maria. They fail but they tell her that she’s better off with them than with the angel crew.  Maria doesn’t know what they mean until she finds out the dirty secret of being an exorcist: you eventually get the angel disease and get consumed by it. Once you are consumed, you’re thrown into an underground quarantine under St. Balbina hospital where you basically rot until feathers grow out of you and you turn into a giant feather cocoon. Once there’s several cocoons, they all merge into 1 giant cocoon from which an angel will be born.

dnomaria002The school says that it’s a blessing but well no matter how anyone looks at it, it’s a curse :lol:.  Shocked by what is going on, and then after almost being exorcised by Hiyori and Mikagami, Maria decides to take matters into her own hands. She goes to infiltrate Hellfire herself and pretends to join forces with them. Sadly they  catch on to her act and imprison her in their dungeon. On top of this they allow her to go to hell to visit her mom & grandma in which she sees the illusion that they’re doing well, when in actuality they’re tied to a cross burning & suffering for all eternity. However, when she returns, they extract Uriel out of her and use him as an hors d’oeuvre to summon Azazel and plan to sacrifice Maria, as well as one of their own members, Illumina as the main dish. Fortunately Spiritas comes to the rescue, blow up Azazel, blow up Hellfire and Maria & your dude of choice live happily ever after. There’s actually more to the way the story ends in each guy’s route as well as the truth about Maria & Uriel, which I will talk about in the individual write ups!

dnomaria003Munakata Shiryuu – Munakata is like the leader of Spiritas and one of the local tsunderes of the game. He also has a secret obsession with cute things but tries to deny it most of the time cause it ain’t mainly xD. The poor guy’s got a woman trauma because his mom was a prostitute and one day she left to do her “job” and never came back. I have a theory that rather than abandoning him she might have gotten killed at her job (cause you know those things never go well.) He then decided to leave town and was taken in by the orphanage by the church. The kids there bullied him saying his mom abandoned him and he started getting into fights with everyone.  After this he ended up hating women including the nuns at the church. Priest Eflem then decided to take care of him and focused Munakata’s energy into fencing instead. Munakata tells Maria that he’s gonna be a priest anyway so his destiny to not be with a woman the rest of his life anyway. Maria tells him that he’s just using it as an excuse to run away. So then when one night Maria plans to slay demons, Joker shows up and fucks dat shit up summoning all sorts of zombie spirits on her because she won’t join their little demon club.  When Uriel goes to save her he stabs someone but when Maria opens her eyes its not Joker who is stabbed but  Munakata. (Joker has the power to show illusions to others.) Fortunately it doesn’t reach the heart so Munakata survives but Mikagami is fucking pissed because of this.  Maria feels awful and guilty after this but Munakata tells her she doesn’t need to separate herself form everyone and in fact he doesn’t want her leaving him like his mom left him years ago. Sooo then Mikagami takes the initiative to exorcise her and drags her to the church. When she yells for help from Hiyori he’s like lol nope. They tell her they want to separate her from Uriel and they will protect her from any demons that attack her. Maria desperate to stop this, summons Uriel to save her but he gets fucking pissed and BBQs everyone. He defeats both Hiyori and Mikagami’s angels and then Munakata bursts in the nick of time helping free Maria and stop Uriel from going nuts. Munakata then bitchslaps MIkagami for trying to exorcise Maria. Unfortunately after this battle, Hiyori is permanently blinded. Everyone then drops through the ground into the basement where the quarantine exorcists are being kept.

dnomaria004Maria gets attacked by a mad scientist named Murasame (who btw is the same guy as the one in Princess Nightmare! XD) to be used in his experiments. Fortunately  Maria is able to escape with Uriel’s help and afterwards he admits that he was never really under contract with her and never took anything from her like the other angels/demons do. After Maria returns to St.Balbina, she runs into Munakata who’s already head over heels for her by this point. He warns her that everyone at the school knows about her and Uriel and they’ve been throwing rocks at her window and generally forming an angry mob to beat her up. He tells Maria to run for it but instead she takes this as the opportunity to go and infiltrate into Hellfire. Munakata & Mikagami find out she’s working for hellfire when they run into her in town and she’s ordered to attack them. Trying to show her “fake loyalty” to hellfire she has no choice but to do so. Munakata continues believing that it’s all just an act and after Munakata and Mikagami return to the school they tell the priest they’re gonna leave the dorms and try to get Maria out of Hellfire.  Meanwhile back at the ranch Maria decides to go to hell to see her mother.  When she finds her there, the mom’s like man I thought you’d hate me for passing the curse down to you.  While there she runs into her grandma Katrina who has black hair and wears the same outfit as Maria. Anna says that the reason she died is because she never bothered trying to fight demons and just let Uriel do his thang while she stayed in the church. She also tells Maria that god told her to abort the baby when she was preggo since the curse would pass on to Maria. Unfortunately visiting hours end and mom & grandma return to burning in hell and tell Maria to never come back here again. After Maria returns, she finds out that Uriel is gone but doesn’t know that he’s been intentionally extracted out of her body when she came back. Father offers for her to contract with another demon but she refuses and is therefore labeled as a traitor to Hellfire, and imprisoned in their underground dungeon. Thanks to Illumina taking a liking to Maria, and to Zead being the ultimate fucking loser of this game, Maria manages to escape only to find Uriel hanging at the Azazel summoning altar. Maria then rages at all of them for letting them sacrifice Ilumina and Uriel like this and that they’re probably next and that this whole “Father” and “family” is all horse shit.

dnomaria005Just when Maria almost loses hope, Munakata, Mikagami and Hiyori show up to save the day! While everyone’s fighting, Illumina tells Maria that the medicine thing was all an act. He then tells her that he was going to be a sacrifice regardless of whether or not he betrayed father that’s why he’s helping her. He tells her to run away and stop the summoning of Azazel. Before Father can kill Illumina, Kirito shows up outta nowhere and says he’s planted bombs all over the mansion. He then threatens to blow the whole place up and even though Maria manages to escape, unfortunately poor Illumina gets stabbed and killed ;_;. Just before he dies, he says that he came from heaven and wishes to show it to Maria someday. (´;ω;`) Just then Klaus, Maria’s childhood friend, shows up for more backup and uses his poor do-M diva Geist to self destruct on Azazel. He tells Munakata to grab Maria and run out of the mansion before it collapses. Unfortunately just then Azazel’s summoned and he’s your typical angry fugly demon dude.  As Munakata runs with Maria, they fall through the floor and land in the room she was originally in when she came to Hellfire. Since Uriel and Munakata’s diva are both MIA, they have to try to get out on their own. He then admits that he’s happy that she’s separated from Uriel because he wants her all to himself.  (/ω\)イヤン Munakata then goes with Maria to see Father – who is actually Tachibana – Munakata’s senpai  who he adored and thought had died in a mission. But nope the dude’s become an evil organization leader dickhead who wants to summon a powerful demon instead lol! So anyway Munakata fights Father while he tries to get him to join the dark side.  He tries to mentally weaken him by making it seem like everyone loathes him for letting them die. Maria yells out not to listen and that it’s all b/s.

dnomaria006Just when Father thinks the brainwashing has worked, Munakata’s like fuck off mah woman beetch and kicks his ass along with Siegfried who was just stealthily hiding the whole time. Uriel comes back and grabs Father, and tells Maria to stab the both of them. She can’t stand to kill him but he’s like its ok guurl I’ll just go be with your mom & granny in hell. And so Munakata and Maria stab both of them and kill them together. After defeating him, Mikagami, Kirito, Maria and Munakata  escape Hellfire HQ. While they fly on the dragon wings of Siegfried, Munakata tells Maria that he no longer “distrusts all women” and that he believes in her. Unfortunately things don’t go too well as Maria’s curse kicks in and she dies.  Best End: After they return to St. Balbina, they hold a funeral for Maria. In the meantime, Maria reaches heaven and an angel there tells her that she can’t come here cause there ain’t no space! He tells her to get her ass back on earth and live happily ever after. Maria then knocks on her coffin to let her out and as they open it she’s like HAY GAIZ WHATS GOIN ON!? 😆 Munakata is so happy he hugs her and they both cry.  Also turns out Klaus didn’t die and after they report to the vatican what happened, they are told to return home within a week. She gets sad that she’s in love with Munakata, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to return her feelings. Priest Eflem tells Maria that he used to work for the Vatican and had Sieg Fried under his command…but he lost this job cause he fell in love with a nun. He tells Maria that he’ll approve if they have feelings for each other but Maria just lies and says that there’s nothing between them. As she prays alone in the church she falls asleep and then Munakata finds her and brings her to her room. She awakens but pretends to be asleep…so when he puts her into bed, he leans down and kisses her. Maria then feels his tears drop on her face and when he realizes he’s crying he quickly runs out of her room. Maria then cries in frustration because the following day is her departure date back to Rome.

dnomaria007The next day everyone sees Maria & Klaus off but both Maria and Munakata hold themselves back and just plainly say goodbye. Maria ends up crying on the bus to the airport while Klaus comforts her. (´・ω・`) Doumeki (who is this loser that showed up and kidnapped Maria at one point but whateve) tells him to stop being a pansy ass and be a man but Munakata babbles that as much as he wanted to hit dat sheit, he can’t cause of his priestly duties etc. Priest Eflem shows up and is like “yo dude don’t be like me or Tachibana and regret your life choices!” Munakata changes his mind and asks Doumeki to give him a lift to the airport so he can catch Maria before she leaves. There he finds Maria and tells her he loves her adding that he no longer has the powers to fight with Sieg Fried cause he no longer has access to him. And so Maria stays back in Japan with Munakata and he kisses her as her plane flies off without her. Exorcist End: After everyone escapes Hellfire HQ, Maria wakes up to find the entire thing leveled after the bombs that Kirito set. They think Klaus is dead but he shows up like hay gaiz what’s goin on? They return back to St. Balbina and basically we’re shown all the scenes with Munakata making his final decision in regards to his feelings for Maria. He tells Maria that he regrets kissing her in her room so Maria gets pissed, slaps him and runs off crying. Pied Piper comes outta nowhere and attacks Maria but without Uriel she’s helpless. Just then Munakata saves her and the following day she announces that she’s gonna stay in Japan with him a little longer. Maria decides to support Munakata as a priest and keep her feelings for him hidden inside. Bad End: Maria’s curse kills her.  Munakata’s route was a huge info dump for me since it was the first route of the game and a lot of common scenario was jam packed into here. Due to this it was hard to focus on him alone so the fact that he spent most of the route rejecting Maria (especially in the ending dear god) I guess I was a bit disappointed? His scenes with them eating ice cream were adorable as hell. I loved the scene of them in Maria’s room at Hellfire when they fell through the ceiling. Sometimes you just need to “fall” in love I guess (*´ω`*).

dnomaria009Shuurei Mikagami – I dunno why Maria called Munakata by his last name and Mikagami by his first name  (as well as like every person in the game). Mikagami only has 1 problem and the problem is his exorcism was shoved on to him at a young age without his consent.  Due to this his whole life has been about being this perfect exorcist and generally perfect waifu. He can also cook really well and makes sweets for Maria.  His father died when he was 13 and forced him to contract with an angel that was passed down the family line. Unfortunately he had a butthurt older brother  who raged that he was supposed to be the one to inherit this angel. Once Mikagami contracted with his current diva Zachariel, his once brown hair turned completely white as contracting with a diva pretty much destoys your lifespan until you get the angel disease. Mikagami is very much not pleased with Maria having Uriel by her side 24/7 and so eventually tries to exorcise her as seen in Munakata’s route. He nearly kills her and afterwards apologizes for being an asshole and cries her a river. He also then admits to Maria that he in fact already has the angel disease but has been taking medicine to keep it at bay.   So then Maria goes to infiltrate Hellfire but as usual same events, and she gets suspected and imprisoned for refusing Father’s demon contract.  When Mikagami & co come to rescue her, Mikagami drops the bomb and says that Vega is actually his brother…who had the inferiority complex of not getting a speshul angel like his otoutokun did. He reveals that his right eye now been replaced by the “Seal of Cain” and his body has become invincible. And so basically the 2 brothers face off with Mikagami obviously losing. Maria offers to sacrifice herself so that Vega leaves Mikagami alone…that is until Mikagami is like YO BRO I GOT YOUR INVINCIBILITY ITEM RIGHT HERE.

dnomaria010He then takes this vial and like destroys it with Vega’s original eyeball inside of it that he was carrying around. Just then Zead comes running and bawwing that Munakata’s beheaded Father lol.  So when the bombs that Kirito set up start going off Vega tells Mikagami to run and save himself –  the only decent thing he’s ever done as an older brother. After they escape, both Zakariel and Uriel say goodbye and break their contracts with Mikagami and Maria.  Best End: Both Mikagami asks Maria to spend Xmas with him and he prepares a table and food for them. He then hugs her from behind saying he’s been keeping his urges to grope da foreign lady since the beginning. They go out to the town, but while Mikagami is getting hot cocoa Maria gets attacked by some geometric demon. After Munakata & Kirito arrive to save them, Mikagami feels useless and decides he wants to still help out with baking sweets at the church.  So then Zachariel drops by, and is like “oh yea I’m going back to heaven but i’ll be back when you have babies, which will be brothers who will fight over my power like you and your bro. PS Maria I leave the baby making to you” and Maria’s like OK (`・ω・´)キリッ to which Mikagami’s like (/▽*\)~♪ イヤァン. And so Maria and Mikagami continue their life at St. Balbina and live happily ever after. Exorcist End 1: Mikagami wishes for strength to save Maria from the evil geometry shape and Zachariel comes back to help out. After it’s defeated, Mikagami says he cannot be with Maria because he will fight and protect her from afar until it’s the end of the line for him. Yea, protecting from the shadows its NINJAGAMI! I kinda wish that we actually got a kiss CG in his route. Instead we get this “black screen of implications” where we use our imagination that a kiss scene just happened based on the text description. It’s especially infuriating because characters I wish never got a kiss CG, get a kiss CG and the majority of the rest are screwed with the black screen of implications.  Also as you can see once you finish 1 run of the game, majority of stuff is all overlap lol.

dnomaria011Kujou Hiyori – Hiyori’s route is a guro mess but it’s the big route for finding out what really happens to exorcists with the angel disease. Unlike Mikagami, Hiyori refuses to drink the medicine to slow down the symptoms and his symptoms being escalating quickly. Hiyori doesn’t actually want to be an exorcist because going out to exorcise shit means PAAAIN. Yes actual pain. Hiyori’s angel’s power thrives off Hiyori’s physical pain so he basically keeps a freaking barbed wire whip  handy to WHIP HIS BACK UNTIL IT BLEEDS during battle. ∑(゚Д゚)ガーン Hiyori’s also done a lot of hard livin’ prior to being an exorcist. In his family line it was commonplace to basically buy mail order brides and impregnate them until one of them would pop out a heir that would inherit Hiyori’s diva Oriphiel.  And by mail order brides I mean basically buying sex slaves from Japan and bringing them over to Europe. This continued for a while until Oriphiel is like you guys need to stop this sex trafficking shit and gave them his powers. Sadly they didn’t stop and just kept trying to constantly have babies to have Oriphiel’s powers be passed down the line. Lucky Hiyori was the first one in 100 years!  Hiyori loved his mom though and she had believed that his father loved her rather than bought her  as a mail order bride. Hiyori knew the truth though so when she got sick he brought her to the hospital but the father raged at him  cause lol sending his sex slave to the hospital (prolly just waited for her to kick the bucket.) And so Hiyori’s pretty much hated his asshole father ever since but once he started getting the angel disease he was like hooray I can finally put myself out of this misery!

dnomaria012Just around this time Hiyori starts growing feathers out of his body because of his angel disease. Maria & co. ask to see the progress of the angel disease and Eflem shows them in the quarantine area.  After seeing the horrors and the common route battle, Hiyori of course loses his sight.  Maria visits him saying she’s gonna infiltrate Hellfire not cause she wants to save everyone but cause she just wants to kick ass!  Campanella End: Turns out Hellfire stole the giant feather cocoon from the quarantine rooms to use to summon Azazel. The angel diseased guys there give Hiyori his bible and cross and tell him to fight (through horrid wails because they can no longer speak words.)At the final battle Hiyori asks Maria to stay with him but Joker then shows them a candle representation of their lifespan…which is very short and dim.  Despite this, Hiyori calls Oriphiel and zaps Joker’s butt a few times and then exorcises him.Before he goes, Joker tells them that Hellfire was basically a gathering of hopeless bums who just wanted someone to give a shit about them. He says he never wanted the demon’s power within Maria and that he just wanted someone to love like family. Hiyori tells him that “no you didn’t, you just wanted someone to lick your wounds cause you were lonely without considering her feelings.” ←pretty much Joker’s end 2.  After the fight, time passes but Hiyori is in a coma and he’s turning slowly into a feathered cocoon. Maria gets medicine from Mikagami and tries to get Hiyori to take it to control his disease but he refuses to take it. He says he doesn’t want to keep living and suffering and that he’d rather just die and be freed of his responsibilities.

dnomaria013Maria starts crying saying she wants him to live and that LIFE IS PAIN BRO DEAL WITH IT.  He agrees to drink it but only if Maria gives it to him mouth to mouth – which of course would basically free him from being an exorcist lmao. And so she kisses him, Oriphiel goes away…and I’m like why didn’t he just ask her to do this to begin with? Then he wouldn’t have to be like nooo I must die so I can be free waaangst! His dad visits a few days later, and gives the church a new organ as a present to make up for being a dick father.  After this Hiyori’s no longer a priest candidate or an exorcist, so he leads a simple life of just being a student and ichaichaing with Maria. Exorcist End – During the battle with Joker, feathers spawn out of Hiyori and start to cocoon him in. Hiyori manages to get out enough to grab a sword with Maria and run in and stab Joker. After Joker and Beefrons are defeated, Hiyori and Maria both get cocooned inside his feathers and are carried down to the basement of that hospital to be reborn into an angel. Oriphiel tells them the good news that at least they’re both going to heaven! And so after the whole angel process is over, Maria and Hiyori are having a blast stuffing their faces with cake in heaven. Hiyori’s va also voiced Shinji from Hiiro no Kakera but man did the dude scream his lungs out in this game. I thought my eardrums were gonna explode during all the whipping scenes :lol:.

dnomaria014Onbashira Kirito – Kirito joins Hiyori in the screamer group but Kirito’s route was also hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Kirito seems like the genki dude but he’s also done a lot of hard living.  He’s apparently a sacrifice like Maria so he doesn’t have his own diva and can’t do much help despite being in Spiritas. Kirito’s dad tried to do a murder suicide on his family so he stabbed Kirito’s mom and tried to stab Kirito. Kirito ran away so the dad instead set the entire apartment on fire. Then some demon came out and said that he’s the one who possessed his dad cause he wanted Kirito to awaken the power within.  Typical ( ´_ゝ`). Kirito ended up escaping with a lot of burns and taken in by Efrem priest at the orphanage, after surviving surgery. At one point Maria gets sucked inside the DARKNESS OF KIRITO’S HEART and what she finds inside is 1. a bunch of hanging laundry and 2. a spinning wheel angel that has  gross red eyeballs all over its 4 wings :lol:. When Maria decides to infiltrate Hellfire, Kirito wants to be a hero and goes to infiltrate secretly on his own. While she comes to hellfire she finds Kirito’s been imprisoned by them because he tried to infiltrate himself and got caught. He says that his job is to sacrifice himself so that others will be happy and he was hoping by doing this, Maria would be protected by Munakata. Maria’s like GDI I don’t want you to be a sacrifice ┻━┻ ︵╰(ಠ益ಠ)╯︵ ┻━┻.  Before they finish talking, he gives her a lace ribbon that he got just for her. Archangel Michael (who shows up at the most convenient times) tells Kirito  that his soul might fall into the hands of the demons. He then shows him the angel that he’s gonna get whether he likes it or not…and it’s basically this stupid looking wheel with wings and eyeballs ( ゚∀゚)ァハハ八八ノヽノヽノヽノ \ / \/ \ . LIke great, everyone gets this majestic angel, but Kirito gets some deformed spinning wheel you can sew down coats with.

dnomaria016And so because Kirito’s awesome, he sets up bombs everywhere and says All Your Base Are Belong to Us! and manages to escape his prison cell. He runs to Maria who’s been caged and tells her that after the battle’s over, he wants her to rely on him and not on Uriel. He frees her and the battle begins, this time with Maria going with Kirito. In the battle with Hellfire, Kirito fights Zead and beats his ass down with Spinning wheel-kun. Unfortunately  it goes out of control and starts to hurt Maria in the process while Zead is ignored in his own battle :lol:.  Just then Uriel shows up and helps Kirito move on from the fear and trauma of the fire so that he can control his spinning wheel angel. Unfortunately he’s unable to and he wants to zap Uriel…then everyone remembers that Zead’s still around and his demon contract has come to an end. Suddenly the battle changes to them exorcising Zead instead. Demon Marcocius is like “well contract is over, I will now have your soul” and he rips poor Zead’s heart out and eats it. Wailing in pain, Zead begs for them to kill him so he doesn’t have to suffer anymore. Kirito stabs him, makes my ears bleed with his screaming and then tells his spinning wheel to take shape of a human. He does and says his name is Gowell and then he gets a slap from Kirito and a punch from Uriel for being an ass. m9(^Д^)プギャーーーッ U-tan says goodbye to Maria and goes off to take his punishment for being a fallen angel as usual.  Campanella End: Maria & Kirito continue attending school as students as usual. They ask Munakata and Efrem Priest if they can come along to exorcise at a school. The two of them successfully exorcist Dantalian and save Rino…who apparently has a crush on Kirito’s spinning wheel プッ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵.  When Maria says she has to return to Rome, Kirito’s like u ain’t goin anywhere woman. He then takes her to the roof with more sheets and kisses her..cause with Kirito, anything important involves hanging laundry.

dnomaria017They both confess that they love each other, but Maria’s suddenly throwing all these excuses on why she’s afraid to get close to him. They go on a date together, and he takes her to a cafe located on exactly where his house burned down…not the best place for a first date. (ಠ_ಠ) Maria starts to cry and runs off going that he shouldn’t be so nice to her the day before she has to return to the Vatican. Kirito says that if she doesn’t return to Japan next year, he’ll go and see her instead. So the following spring Kirito visits Maria, and he’s like had a major growth spurt and is a hot ikemen now!! <●><●> (He was so hot I thought he looked like Munakata lmaooo).  Exorcist End: Aka cockblock end cause Maria basically pushes Kirito away when he tries to kiss her and tell her his feelings. It’s allll because nooo he must become an exorcist and falling in love with me would destroy his fuuturee noooo /wangst. And so Kirito becomes a tall ikemen exorcist and Maria is butthurt that she never grabbed that piece of man ass for herself. She then realizes that she’s useless since she can’t be an exorcist without Uriel anymore and thinks about returning to Rome. Some durdle demon attacks her and Kirito saves her and is like what the hell is your problem. She slaps him and babbles some melodrama about how she be jelly that he’s popular with the ladies. He tells her that she missed the boat and now he gotta be Mr. awesome exorcist so he kisses her hand and she apologizes for being bratty. That exorcist end was so frustrating to sit through because there was seriously no conflict other than their own stubbornness. Still though, I think Maria and Kirito make a cute couple though the tsundere meter from both of them can bit overwhelming sometimes.

dnomaria018Joker – Joker’s route is a joke because we find out NOTHING about who or what he really is. He has these amazing powers where he knows everything, and is in the right place at the right time and has this amazing power to show illusions so no one can ever hurt him. But then he gets hurt/dies in multiple ends so shit don’t be making any sense.  All Joker really wants is someone to care for him and well I really think he could just be well off with Love Plus than Maria :lol:.  Sad End: Joker stalks Maria via phone and calls her non stop to have tea with him, over and over. She finally agrees thinking it’s a trap but in the end..they just have some tea & cake lol. A few days later after she joins Hellfire, Joker takes her out to enjoy Japan and they go to BBQ and karaoke. When they want to send her to hell to visit her mom & granny, Maria refuses so Father knocks her out and throws her into his underground prison. While she’s knocked out they of course once again separate her from Uriel, but then Joker comes and frees her. He tells her that while others wanted her power (aka Uriel) he just wanted to hit dat ass. He brings her to a nice room in town, betrays Hellfire,  and says he wants to live with her happily ever after. Or so she thinks cause he basically brainwashes her into forgetting about St. Balbina and everyone in Spiritas. Not only that but she forgets about her past too but he wants to only focus on his “future” with Maria.

dnomaria019Eventually Vega finds them, so they have to return to being on the run from Hellfire again. Campanella End: Joker runs away with Maria again, and they go shopping for some new tea. It begins to rain and Maria ends up getting wet and passing out. When she wakes up, she finds herself in hell and Joker says that they have been living here all this time. They make tea and bake cookies together waiting for Maria’s mom & grandma to arrive and join them. After they finish, he asks Maria what she thinks of him and she says she likes him, but refuses to say it more than once. She gets nervous before they come, so to calm her down he kisses her, making her freak out. Once mom & granny arrive, Joker tries his best to kiss butt so he’s a fit man for Maria. This is of course all an illusion because in reality they’re all probably chained to crosses burning in hell for all eternity.  I like Joker’s personality but let’s face it: he’s a fucking creep. He drugs/uses magic on Maria to make her forget everything but himself and then runs away with her.  Some people say that well he saved her from hellfire which yea it’s true but I see it no different than the stupid cage ending with Toma except instead of a cage we get some pretty room or an illusion of a happy house. In the end, Maria is still trapped and/or burning in hell lol.

dnomaria020Father – Father aka Tachibana, is basically King Pedo leader of Hellfire. Okay like maybe he’s really only in his early to mid 20s but the way he was drawn he looks like some gross 45 year old dude hitting on a 14 year old loli. When he was an exorcist he got his heart ripped out during the battle with Azazel so then demon Halfas (which looks like a deformed chicken) showed up and is like MERGE WITH ME IF U WANT TO LIVE (◉◞౪◟◉`). Tachibana agreed, and after the merge he became “Father” and formed Hellfire: and organization fulla losers willing to sell their souls for power. And boy do they sell them because once they contract with the demon, it will eat their soul upon death and gradually it will take over parts of their bodies. And so Father imprisons Munakata and asks him to join Hellfire but Munakata refuses. Maria’s like can’t we all just get along. Father’s like NOPE, then grabs Maria and kisses her NTRing her right in front of Munakata ガ━━━━━━∑(゚д゚lll)━━━━━━ン The pedo bias is just too strong in this game so Maria gives up and contracts with demon Oleax and becomes 2nd in command to Father. He then tells her that she must contract with Azazel as well and she’s like welp nothing else I can do I guess!  Campanella End – Evangelion ripoff Gendo and Rei basically cause then Father realizes that oh noes maybe I shouldn’t have contracted Maria with Azazel. He then runs to Maria to try and stop the merging and hugs her while yelling out her name like an idiot. And somehow that gets her to basically take control of Azazel and that’s when her eyes become evil and red like in the other endings with Zead. She basically bullies the other guys around and acts like a bratty little bitch ( ≖Д≖;). Basically they let her do whatever she wants cause she has the strongest demon inside of her and they’re all scared shitless, including Father. And so Maria acts like Father’s “daughter-wife” while the others gag in disgust ever after. _| ̄|○ il||li  Bad End: This bad end is pretty much from any route so I just grabbed it here. Joker basically kills Kirito and drops his dead body in front of Maria. Munakata gets pissed off and stabs Joker with his sword but then goes ballsack and starts stabbing Kirito’s dead body. Turns out that it was all an illusion and that Munakata just sees Joker’s body when it’s really Kirito’s dead body.  Sad End: Father basically rapes Maria into submission. Ew. And he even got a kiss CG during the NTR/rape scene. Ewwww. Why Karin, why!

dnomaria021Zead – Zead is such a loser that even the game admits that he’s a loser! He’s such a loser that he gets ignored in his final battle with Kirito! He’s such a loser that none of his endings with Maria are any decent….ugh by the end I just felt sorry for the guy lol. (´;ω;`)ウッ… What’s worse is he sees Father like his own “dad” and when Father dies in the other ends Zead is absolutely heartbroken…which in turn pisses me off cause he was just used anyway augh. Sad End: Maria agrees to contract with another demon when Father offers it and so she contracts with Oleax and then later Azazel. She starts to feel all sick and Zead takes care of her while yelling like a bumbling tsundere. And so Maria and Zead become brutal killers doing dirty work for Father. Campanella End: Maria contracts with the Azazel like in the sad end and kills those who don’t pay their money for the demons. Zead thinks she’s overdoing it with all the brutal murder considering how she used to be against it. Azazel has taken her eyes and so her eyes are no longer blue but an evil black & red. And so the tables are turned cause Zead liked Maria before she became evil, and now that she’s a badass demon controlling lady, he’s pissed off and upset.

dnomaria022He tries to remind her of the past self in hopes that she will return to being her old self. He gives her a bandaid on a cut during a battle which helps her bring to her senses that night and she cries for Zead saying she doesn’t want to fall deeper into darkness. Zead goes to Joker for advice and he tells him that the only way to save Maria is to somehow tame the demon within. So after a few days he goes into Maria’s room one night to follow through with this. He realizes that the old Maria is still there because she suddenly admits she never threw out the stuffed animal he gave her and starts to cry. Evil-Maria can’t explain why she’s crying and says that her eyes are just dry. They end up battling each other and basically Zead has his demon eat Maria’s demon instead. After she’s back to her senses she gives Zead a kiss on the cheek and then passes out in his arms xD. Meanwhile he starts blabbering and blushing and then passes out himself. A couple days later Zead takes her out for a night on the town and tells her that if she can’t make money for Hellfire, he’ll work extra hard to make enough for both of them. They kiss in the park but then it turns out that Maria’s evil personality is not completely gone and she’s pretty much become bipolar cause Zead sucks at everything /(^o^)\.

dnomaria023Vega – The bias is strong on Vega (though not as strong a Father lol.) As we saw in Mikagami’s route, Vega is that BUTTHURT ONIICHAN who was so mad that he didn’t get da angel, he went and got himself a DEVIL instead! Sounds like a great solution to a stupid problem! Also this dude gave me major Reiji flashbacks to Dialovers because 1. He likes tea 2. He whips people 3. He’s got major sibling rivalry issues 4. Is a general douchebag to everyone until the very very end.  While Maria is imprisoned, Vega knows that she hasn’t been eating and says he’s felt that she’s looking for a place to die rather than desperately trying to survive. Since he doesn’t want her to starve cause he’s become Vegadere for her, he shoves a sandwich down her throat lol.  Afterwards she agrees to eat it but then realizes she bit his fingers and apologizes for it. (Shoulda bit his arm off tbh.)  Campanella End: And so we get to the fight with Mikagami and Maria’s liek STAHP VEGATSUN. After the fight Maria & Vega fall into the ruins of the Hellfire HQ (because of the explosions) they run into Joker and Zead and Father’s…head. Vega leads the 4 of them (and they finally drop the dumb head) to try and get out of the rubble.

dnomaria024On the way out they get attacked by a bunch of demon who are leftovers from Azazel and Vega gets hurt protecting Maria. He tells her to go on without him but she’s like NOOOooo I can’t!  They finally manage to get out and run into non-trap Illumina who tells Vega’s demon to go back to hell. Vega loses a lot of his lifespan and then Illumina vanishes into the light~.  And so time passes and since Vega’s unable to walk, Maria helps him out day to day. She tells him that a nearby hospital can perform surgery to get him to walk again and he agrees. She kisses over his bandaged eye and tells him to do their best together from now on. ( ´_ゝ`) Honestly I felt like there was very little build up between Vega & Maria in his individual scenes since I had done a lot of the game by then and skipped through most of it.  Sad End: After Maria escapes the rubble with Spiritas, Vega, Joker, Zead (and father’s head) huddle in a corner and die hugging each other together. (´;ω;`) Since they can’t fight against the demons, they all drink poison and kill themselves so they can meet again in hell. Since the poison was used on Joker & Zead, Vega is forced to suffer and die painfully when his demon eats his soul. m9(^Д^)プギャー Also this is what I mean about Joker: he is willing to die so quickly but in other ends he just runs around like Mr. Invincible.

dnomaria025Illumina – Illumina is a babe, and I’m not saying that because he’s a trap. He’s really a sweetheart and he takes a liking to Maria from the start, protecting her from all the sneaky shit Father does. When father gives Maria a bunch of stuffed animals Illumina cuts them up because (prolly put a tracking device or a recording device?) He tells Maria that he only put his own tracking devices in her room cause he wants her to be his. To cheer her up, Illumina takes her shopping and they look at stuffed animals he can buy for her to make up for the ones he ripped up.  Illumina decides to basically betray Father because he loves Maria. He acts like he’s all crazy but he tells Maria that he knows that he’s already a sacrifice so whether or not he betrays them doesn’t matter.  While he’s imprisoned with Maria he kisses her saying that he doesn’t want to escape because he has nowhere to go to like Maria does. He then says the only way for them to not be sacrifices is to kill themselves.  Maria is against it but he gives her a knife and then while she’s holding it, he runs into it and stabs himself.

dnomaria026When she thinks that Illumina is dead she hears his voice. She then decides to get the fuck out and tricks Zead and manages to escape the prison. She runs to the sacrifice area and almost gets killed until non-trap Illumina shows up looking like a fabulous ikemen and tells Father to STAHP IT. Turns out he had to “die for his sins” that time when Maria killed him and then angel Michael saved him and contracted with him to work together so they could destroy Azazel.  Campanella End: And so Azazel is defeated, Father is dead and Uriel flies away to heaven. Some time passes, and Illumina returns to being a trap again. You can pick whether you like him to stay as a trap or go back to being an ikeman for the ending xD. In the non trap end, he tells Maria to see him as a man and be his girlfriend. He admits that after defeating Azazel he actually lost his contract with Michael cause he fell in love with Maria. In the trap version, Maria tells Illumina that he can continue being a trap and so they end up being BFFs instead. Unfortunately Illumina is pretty much bummed out about this friendzoning lol.  Sad End: Maria & Illumina stab each other and die together inside the cell.  Illumina’s man form really just looks like Vocaloid Kaito but man is he adorable as all get out (*´▽`*).

dnomaria027Klaus Erhardt – Klaus is awesome because he’s voiced by Kakki and he and his diva Polter Geist constantly babble in German. JAWOHL MEIN HERR! Everytime I hear that I laugh now :lol:. Klaus is totally the OTP of the game too (if you don’t count Uriel though) because he’s Maria’s childhood friend and he knows how she feels more than anyone. In fact  he comes all the way from Europe to Japan because he’s worried about how her curse is doing (*´▽`*)♡. Also I’m biased as fuck to Klaus so HERE’S A TEXT WALL LOL. Klaus’ route also reveals that her father priest ULTARD tried to drown her in holy water to purify her of the Crow family curse sigh.  After hanging around in Japan for a bit Klaus returns to the Vatican only to find out what they want him to do with Maria is not just as keikaku. He wants some kind of Megido sword in order to save Maria. He tells Ultard priest this but he’s like derp herp I can’t do anything. On his way back Klaus gets a call from Maria and tells her he knows she’s waiting to see him but tells himself that he’s the one who wants to see her because he’s shaking from excitement when he hears her voice ε-(*´∀`|萌| Klaus comes into Maria’s room one night asks her to strip her clothes and he pours some holy water on her asking her to show him her curse. He asks her to stop lying to him about her curse because he’s worried about her ;u;.  When Klaus was born he was able to see demons around people from the start. His parents were horrified so they basically abandoned him and threw him in a church orphanage. He was then adopted by the Erherts. He didn’t wanna mess up his chances again so he just read the bible quietly to the point where he memorized almost all of it. He would also often get into fights with other kids who were posessed by demons but nobody would believe him THAT IT WAS a legitimate reason. His parents then said he’d make a good priest so they sent him to a priest school.

dnomaria028Klaus continued to fight with everyone until one day Maria showed up and told the kids he was fighting with to knock it off. She then tried to treat Klaus’ wounds but he got all embarrassed and pushed her away.  Papa Uriel wasn’t too happy and raged telling him to fuck off if he knew what’s good for him. Unfortunately Klaus takes a liking to Maria but the only way he knew to get close to her is to tease her like pulling pranks on her and making her mad lol. One day though, he saw her getting whipped by a priest at the school for not being able to exorcise a demon even though she was only like 8 years old. AFter this Klaus realized that Maria only acts natural in front of him but holds a stern face in front of everyone else and it felt special to him. (*´ω`*) And so as time passed Maria passed the exorcist exam and was sent elsewhere to do exorcising and he didn’t see much of her.  Klaus was really upset after this and because he failed the exam he was to be sent back to Germany. Before returning, he saw a bunch of scientists chasing some kid that looked like he was his age and he looked like he was going out of control. He jumped on Klaus and began strangling him but Klaus managed to get him off but hurt him badly in the process. The scientists made him promise to never speak a word of this.  Just then a demon showed up at the school, and began attacking Klaus so since he heard a voice of Polter Geist he agreed to contract with him so he could defend himself.  Geist tells him to go into the back room of some underground lab to free him while the “mid-level demon” goes around killing all the scientists. After going through 10 locked doors he runs into the last room where he finds Geist floating in a chemical tube. He’s a synthesized demon created from many other demons and he becomes Klaus’s “diva”. And so Klaus came to the Vatican and becomes a member of an exorcism team headed by Priest Reno. His first mission is to go to Japan and to stop the resurrection of Azazel. When it’s time, Klaus asks Maria to infiltrate Hellfire HQ with him secretly. He tells Maria that Mikagami and Hiyori are gonna try to exorcise Uriel out of her but she has trouble believing it – even though it’s true.

dnomaria029Since Munakata’s hospitalized and Kirito’s been kicked out of Spiritas, he tells her there’s no one else they can rely on. While he goes to the bathroom for a second, Joker bed intrudes and tricks her into letting him into the room. He also informs her that she can no longer summon Uriel to fight with her. Uriel tells her he can still fight but Maria passes out completely. After Joker leaves and Maria wakes up, Klaus helps her and Ururu escape St. Balbina to infiltrate Hellfire. She calls Joker to lure him and they have a battle against him and his Roast Beef demon.  He loses badly but then Vega shows up and makes Maria fall into the Azazel sacrifice & summoning altar.  Uriel goes alone to fight Azazel and tells Klaus that if he’s not back in time to take Maria and run to the church. As Uriel starts to eat random demons that Hellfire sent to attack them, he goes into the BEAST MODE and loses all sense of himself. He burns everything to a crisp and Maria tries to call out to him but it’s to no avail. He gains a bit of his senses back and tells her that their contract is over and to get away from him. Maria passes out and Klaus grabs her & runs for the hills. He brings her back to St. Balbina trying to call for help because she hasn’t been breathing for several hours. Once everyone arrives, Munakata gets pissed that Klaus got Maria in this state and went to Hellfire without telling anyone.  After Maria wakes up she tells everyone she can’t fight with them anymore because Uriel’s not with her. Just then Klaus receives a package with the Megido sword he requested from the Vatican though it looks more like a giant bazooka.

dnomaria030Before they go to fight though, Kirito’s eyeball angel awakens and since he has no control over him yet, it starts shooting lasers at anything “evil” including Maria and Klaus. Klaus informs everyone that when a powerful demon is summoned, a powerful angel will be born and that’s basically Gargarin. And so just as Maria is getting zapped, Father and Vega show up and kidnap her. And all of this could have been avoided if Kirito just gave Gargarin his magical bitch slap! Spiritas finally decides to band their powers together and go and save Maria. Unfortunately they all get cockblocked by Darkness who wastes everyone’s time and freezes them all except for Klaus.After “testing” Klaus’ powers, he unfreezes everyone and returns Klaus his demon. He says that in the past he once used the Megido sword and while he has no memories of the past, he recalls using the sword. And so Darkness & Spiritas all run to save Maria and arrive just as Azazel is summoned. Darkness stabs him and he gets lasered by Gargarin but once he merges with Father his power level goes over 9000. Klaus grabs Maria and tells her to run with him but then Angel Michael appears and is like U GOTTA SAVE U-TAN. When they run back, Klaus ends up getting mentally traumatized by Azazel’s mental imagery of killing Maria. He then starts to take over Klaus’s weakened soul so Klaus acts like he’s gonna take Maria’s virginity and give in to his sins! Maria’s like noo I Love u bebe but this raep thing ain’t working for me! Fortunately it’s all just an act and Klaus drinks holy water to get Azazel off him and then he uses his right demon eye to attack Azazel.  After Azazel is defeated, Maria’s curse is broken but Klaus admits that half the stuff he said while pretending to screw her was true. Maria’s like it’s ok bebe I’m not mad ♡.

dnomaria031Campanella End: Klaus says he needs to return to the Vatican to give them info on what happened and perform maintenance on Geist. He tells her to continue attending St. Balbina until he’s back. When she walks him to the airport, he kisses her but then says “sorry you’re like a family to me!” Maria is like noooo and slaps him and he says sorry babe, I’m married to god. He then leaves like some 80s drama hero…leaving Maria crying alone at the airport. (´・ω:;.:… At the Vatican, priest Reno tells Klaus to join his pro exorcist team soon as he graduates middle school and to forget about ever returning to Japan. Klaus is upset about this and he keeps wondering how Maria’s doing. Meanwhile Maria is so out of it thinking about Klaus she can’t focus. Just then Klaus returns and meets Maria at the church and tells her that he’s always loved her. Maria says she loves him too and they almost make out in the confession box until Munakata’s like AHEM pls get out of the church first lol. Klaus says that since he confessed to Maria, he’s going to quit being an exorcist.  They return to the Vatican a few days later and Klaus tells her that he’s made secret plans to spend Christmas with her before they return to their school. (✧≖‿ゝ≖)  Exorcist End: Maria returns to the Vatican but she can no longer be an exorcist so she says her goodbyes to Klaus who’s joining the exorcist team here. And so while Klaus goes off to fight demons, Maria becomes a nun. Though they still see each other once in a while and say hello, they have to keep their feelings inside. Klaauuusss my husbandoooo (;´Д`)ハァハァ!!! Also to be honest his route had so much plot that was different from all the rest that even if I wasn’t biased, the writers definitely were! 😆

dnomaria039Uriel – Uriel is Maria’s contract demon but in actuality he’s a fallen angel! Everything is pretty much the same as the other routes until the part where Maria goes to hell to visit mom & grandma. Also Uriel has the ability to turn into a chibi devil Ururu that hangs around Maria like a mascot xD. (*´ω`*) As usual Maria goes to hell to visit mom & grandma. She spends time in their happy little “house” illusion until one point she sees horrible imagery which her mother says is  a dream before returning her to the “house” illusion. The illusion eventually goes as far as having Uriel come to pick her up for a date in a suit with a bouquet of roses lol. He then announces that the two of them are married 😆 プッ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵Suddenly the real Uriel shows up and he’s like “did you forget what the hell you’re supposed to be doing?” The suit Uriel tells her he’ll make her forget everything and she’ll never have to fight again, while the normal Uriel tells her she needs to fight. Maria pushes away suit Uriel and is like “u faker the real Uriel would never pick living peacefully over fighting.”  And so the illusion is broken and she sees her mom & grandma being christened. Uriel tells Maria that even though her mom Anna never actually fought as an exorcist, she would have died earlier had she not contracted with Uriel due to the curse. They return back out of hell and that’s when she and Uriel get separated. Once she escapes her prison she finds Uriel all beaten up as usual at the altar ready to be sacrificed to Azazel. They free Uriel and Illumina  but Illumina suddenly becomes dumb and runs to father -_-. Uriel’s like fuck dis shiat and grabs Maria & runs for the exit out of Hellfire before it crumbles all over them. In the meantime we get a nice new CG of Illumina crying over Father’s injured body….like I woulda rather had a CG of kissing between Klaus and Maria tbh. When they come outside the city is burning in flames because the heavens are raging that they summoned Azazel. Uriel tells her if she really wants to save humanity she needs to sacrifice herself to him, aka hand over her virginity :lol:. And he like almost hits dat shit then goes lol j/k and says he’d never lay his hands on a loli www. /(^o^)\ナンテコッタイ

dnomaria033Uriel then leaves Maria to go fight alone but luckily he has a reborn Kaito-lumin by his side. Michael tells Uriel that they wanted to protect humanity so they wouldn’t make a mistake like in the past. He points out that Uriel was just a lonely little demon and that’s why he fell in love with Maria. So then Uriel goes to fight Azazel who apparently was actually summoned and is like “Sorry dude ain’t got nothing against you but gotta protect my loli waifu.” Uriel gets badly hurt and Michael’s like “y u not use ur ultimate move Uriel” but Uriel says that if he uses it, it would destroy humanity.  Michael is like I won’t help you if you are in love with a human blah blah. Illumina then tells Maria he’ll help out if Maria keeps her feelings about Uriel to herself and if she’s willing to part with Uriel in the end. Maria agrees and then the angel army reinforcements come to BBQ Azazel. Unfortunately Uriel uses up too much of his powers and disappears. Before leaving Maria though he admits that it’s true what everyone said – she’s the most special person in the world to him.  Just as he disappears, he is reborn as a baby angel – with fangs lol. God’s Blessing End: And so time passes, and now it’s Christmas at St. Balbina.  A band called Kill Me Heavenly performs a Christmas concert and they are basically all the members of Hellfire sans Father lolol. One day she’s attacked by some shitty demon but Uriel is now a grown angel and comes to save her (ノ´∀`*)ノ!Sadly they can never be together as lovers but as “exorcist and angel”. Maria is ok with this as long as they can be together forever though (´;ω;`). What’s kinda frustrating is the bulk of info on Uriel is actually in the Grand Ending so when I did this route and the Vatican route I was like “wow everything just contradicts everything else lol.”  Also I’m so sad (and so was Maria) that Maria never got laid. I totally thought it was gonna happen! Which brings me back to the whole rage of Father’s ending that he’s literally the only one who gets to screw Maria in the game. ┻━┻ ︵╰(ಠ益ಠ)╯︵ ┻━┻

dnomaria034Darkness – Again, another pointless route because Darkness is mostly a plot device but the bulk of his plot is in the Vatican route lol.  Darkness is originally Priest Reno, the priest that met Maria when she was a loli and also tried to exorcise her. As Darkness though, he has no memories of himself as Reno and is currently contracted with a shota bun diva named Lop. Lop comes into Maria’s room one night asking her to come with him because Darkness wants to save her. And Darkness’ way of saving Maria is basically to suck Uriel out of her while Lop stops time – and into himself. Apparently Darkness is a “Demon coffin” and he basically collects demons within himself. When Maria demands that he return Uriel he’s like “can’t babe, if I open up the coffin everyone will come out and it’ll be like WW4”.  His plan is to stop Hellfire’s summoning of Azazel and go to hell along with them. His hope is to have Lop with Maria to protect her in the meantime. Unfortunately both Lop and Maria get captured by Zead and thrown into the same prison cell as Darkness to become sacrifices for Azazel. Well he puts Maria into a separate cell so that Darkness doesn’t accidentally de-virginize her lol. And so Father after contracting with Azazel gets  FABULOUS RED HAIR! (´_ゝ`)クッククク・・(´∀`)フハハハ・・( ゚∀゚ )ハァーハッハッ!!  He then goes and starts sucking out the demons out of Darkness one by one.

dnomaria035Fortunately Uriel finally comes and stops Father’s rampage.  In the meantime, Darkness tells Maria to run while he takes Father to hell with him. He asks Lop to take care of Maria in the meantime.  And so the battle with Azazel and Father ends, but Lop says goodbye and leaves her too.  Exorcist End: Maria returns to St. Balbina back as a regular student and Darkness returns as a teacher.  I thought he died but oh well guess not! He also gets rage from the guys that his room is next to Maria’s :lol:. Maria thinks that he looks like Priest Reno who wanted to extract a demon from her when she was a loli but never makes the connection that it’s really him cause his memories are gone. She calls him Priest Reno and says that he hasn’t regained his memories…but he trolls her and is like “lol you used to be so cute in the past ;D”. He asks her to keep it a secret from everyone. Just then all the guys burst through the door cause they were listening in on their conversation xDD. Turns out that the secret that Darkness has been hiding is that he’s been secretly keeping a cute baby nuko (ノ´∀`*)ノ.  Some time passes and then Uriel comes to see how Maria’s doing before returning to heaven for his trial to become an angel. Darkness vows to protect Maria but he cannot be her lover because he’s vowed to be a priest. Um yea as you can see, not much info and kinda pointless since it’s not like there’s any romance in here anyway.

dnomaria036Grand Ending/Vatican Route – This is where the meat of the plot is and the tying of all the loose ends in the game. After Azazel is defeated Maria attends St. Balbina as usual. Some manmade angels attack them so they fight against them to protect Maria from being brought back to the Vatican. Maria and Klaus return to the Vatican to find out wtf is going on and bring Munakata & co with them as guests. They came here to search for Darkness. They end up fighting all those fake manmade angel army. And now we get to see the past about Darkness & Lop.  Darkness aka Reno finds out the Vatican’s been creating synthetic angels & demons to use as weapons. The reason they do this is because exorcists keep dying from the angel disease so it’s easier to just make them into synthetic angels right off the bat. Most of the exorcists they have used for the experiments had the angel disease and were gonna turn into angel cocoons anyway so they figured it wasn’t too bad using them. The scientist asks Reno to help them out and so he agrees to be part of the experiment but due to this he loses all his memories. He wakes up in the same prison cell as Lop, who’s apparently an “unusable Diva”.  They also then stuffed Reno full of demons and coined him the “demon coffin”.  They grab Lop to do some experiments on him and Reno gets pissed off cause without memories, Lop was like his only friend. They tried to escape together but the Vatican wiped Reno’s memories of all the experiments. Lop also used his time stopping spell to stop the demons inside of his body from going out of control.  When Lop tried to use his powers to get Reno to remember what happened at the Vatican, he started getting flashbacks of how terribly he was treated too.  Reno then asks Lop to contract with him and be his Diva. For his first duty, Reno asks Lop to wipe his memories so that it will never cause Lop PTSD again.  After the memories are gone, since Lop doesn’t know Reno’s real name and Reno forgot, they decide since his robe is dark to call himself Darkness :lol:. (So original!)  Meanwhile back in the present: Darkness finds the poser posing as his former self, Priest Reno and is like u wanna bring Maria back here? Rage! The fake Reno was created from the data they took from the original Reno and now they want Maria back here to use her in their experiments. While Darkness is fighting his fake poser, Maria & co. find the underground laboratory.  After defeating him they find a book which talks about why Uriel became a fallen angel.

dnomaria037Aaand now we get Uriel’s info dump: Angel Uriel was summoned and then imprisoned by Pope Zacharius says that he committed a sin but Uriel said that all he wanted to do was bless the humans. Priest Zacharius then locks him up in the deep pits of some dungeon and one day he gets a nun named Lucia Crow, one of Maria’s distant relatives, to take care of him.  In the meantime Uriel tried to stick to his beliefs that he should guide sinners and not hate humans for the sins. And so Zacharius is like “I’ll let you out if you get consumed with enough hate that you turn into a demon.” And so 11 years pass and Lucia is now 16 and tells Uriel she hopes to see him freed someday.  So then the asshole priest starts beating Lucia in front of Uriel until she’s bleeding to death…just to get Uriel to be pissed off and turn into a demon. Well it works, and Uriel turns into a full blown demon because he got pissed that the gods ignored Lucia’s abuse and realized he has to depend upon his own powers. Zacharius says that Uriel’s sin is that he’s fallen in love with Lucia, but Uriel says that he loves all humans and Lucia is no one special. Uriel then took Lucia and ran off to save her and nursed her to health. She married some village dude and had a baby but the baby and all babies after that were to carry the Crow family curse. The curse was because Lucia was saved and had fallen in love with a demon (cause despite marrying some random dude, she was in love with Uriel the whole time.) Uriel promised Lucia that he’d protect her ancestors for all generations. And so when demons started running wild at the Vatican again, Catherine, Maria’s grandma, contracted with Uriel and became the first female exorcist. During the first battle with Azazel, Catherine got hurt badly so she had to retire and in her last few years she had Anna, Maria’s mother. After reading all this Maria starts crying about how long Uriel has taken care of her family.  Suddenly for some reason, Priest Zacharius, who shoulda been dead ages ago, SHOWS UP. He says he’s been alive for 1000+ years, and he wanted Maria in order to use her as bait to get Uriel and use him in his experiments – again. The reason he’s lived in the first place is from all the remnants of angel Uriel that he had left in the prison he was keeping him in that time years ago. The buttface even managed to give himself the same wings that Uriel had as an angel =_=. His goal is to kill all the angels so that he can become a human greater than god himself BWAHAHHAA evillaugh.wav. (and this is even better because this laugh is by Wakamoto www) And so everyone bands their powers to try and kill this idiot. The odds are against them but Uriel comes back from hell to kick some old fart ass. Just then Priest Ultad shows up and opens the door to hell.

dnomaria038Suddenly Catherine, Anna and Lucia come out and grab and pull Zacharius back to hell with them lol. Also it’s revealed here that Ultad is actually Maria’s real dad cause he actually humped Anna in sin! 😆 And so after Zacky’s pulled into hell, the doors to hell close.  Uriel says goodbye to Maria, kisses her on the cheek and goes with Michael to heaven to be re-evaluated to become an angel again. And so Maria returns to the monastery she was at in Rome to become a nun. Spiritas and Reno as well as Maria all get together for a final feast of pizza and a pasta! Eeey! Also Maria figures out that Ultad is her real father but wonders who her grandfather might be lol. (I keep thinking it might be Eflem.)  Grand Ending: Maria returns to study in Japan and it’s now Christmas. Ultad is finally visiting St. Balbina so Maria & co are getting the Xmas party ready. Klaus tells Maria that he’s returning to Rome after the party but he came to visit was worried about how she’d be doing without Uriel. And so after Ultad arrives, they pray at the graves of Anna and Catherine and place flowers on them in hopes they can get to go to heaven. Some old lady comes and tells Maria that Catharine once saved her via exorcism. And so at the Christmas party while everyone is inside, Uriel visits in human form and is like HEY LONG TIME NO SEE GUUURL. (*´ω`*)  He says that his trial is over and he’s been told to live as a human for a bit to make up for his sins. Since he’s in a human body stuff like the cold affects him so he asks for Maria to warm him up♥.  So now Maria & Uriel probably live happily ever after since he’s prolly gonna be on earth as a human long enough until she dies anyway. I guess this makes Uriel kind of an OTP?? I still believe in my Maria x Klaus pairing though ;u;.  Sad End: Maria gets knocked out during the battle with Zacharius and is in a coma for a month. After she wakes up, the angel army has come down raging upon the earth. Zacharius gathers his army of blind cult followers to fight against the angels. And by army it’s mostly an army full of those robo synthetic angels.  Uriel also gives in and has joined forces with drill hair (lll ̄□ ̄)ガーン!!  Maria agrees to fight with him but says that she still hasn’t forgiven him for the bullshit he’s done to her family and Uriel.  Bad End: As Zacharius is being dragged to hell by Maria’s relatives, he grabs Maria and drags her with him. Something goes terribly wrong though and instead Maria and Zacharius get thrown into Eden where it’s only the two of them, like the next Adam & Eve. So then a string of choices follows where they all force you to eat the freaking apples and even when I ignored the choices, she eats them anyway xD. Zacky tells her that they’re gonna be like the next Adam & Eve and gets all randy and Maria’s like ガ━━━━━━∑(゚д゚lll)━━━━━━ン. Lol nice troll end Karin.

dnomaria040Parallel Story – Maria is an average middle school student living with her mother Anna, older sister Catherine and father Ultad. She’s a tsundere and says she’ll never marry cause all men are jerks! She runs into Munakata on her way to school and trips and kisses him hahaha xD. Zacharius is the principal like Saotome from Utapri lmao and he says he wants to have mixed gender classes for the first time. Maria is totally against this and she starts a petition but it’s too late and the guys come right into her class. Zachariel is the gym teacher, Geist is some do-M teacher, Oriphiel is the home ec teacher, Lop is a music teacher and he just sings his own songs lol. Turns out Maria is longing for her lost love Uriel because he has to go abroad to Italy a long time ago. He asked her to reject all men and act like a tsundere or else he’d curse her lol. He promised to return to her when he graduates but when her friends hear this story they say that she should stop with her fake personality. Klaus, her childhood friend, gets upset that she’s like this and asks to be friends again like old times.  And so after this Maria drops her tsundere personality and becomes nicer to everyone. Meanwhile Hellfire is in their band Kill Me Heavenly and Father is “Producer F” xDDD. And so Uriel transfers into her class and his name is Uriel Sumita lmfao xDDD. Maria doesn’t recognize him cause he’s grown into a badass lol. Afterwards, Maria and Uriel  talk and he admits he went overseas to get surgery and while recovering he did too much muscle building which is why he got so big xD. He wanted her to be strong and tsun because he was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself if he died. And so Uriel, Maria and Klaus hang out together once more like old times, OT3 (ノ´∀`*)ノ

dnomaria001Sengoku no Maria – Maria gets sent to Japan along with Uriel to spread her knowledge of western religion. Unfortunately they are stuck in the sengoku period and there’s wars and shit going on.  She goes to see the emperor and then she joins them to help bring peace by dressing up as a japanese princess. And so the hellfire group and the Spiritas group (though lol their sengoku names Idk) have a summit to try and get along but instead they end up fighting over Maria :lol:. Munakata gets super drunk and starts to hit on Maria until Uriel threatens to slice him up lol. Sadly their summit goes nowhere and Japan’s history gets all screwed up lol. I’m kinda sad that this wasn’t actually voiced T_T. The Parallel story was but this was all silent except BGMs and sound effects. They even had new CGs and seeing how it wasn’t that long it upsets me that they wouldn’t spend a few extra bucks to hire the seiyuus to do the voice acting. (´・ω・`)

conragtsI know I had a lot to say but I think I said most of it during my babbles or during my broadcast.  This was actually a really enjoyable game, the characters were great and even though I want to punch Father and Saotome Zacharius, they were still well written for being complete asshole bad guys lmao. While I wish there was less “common route” and more individual routes I guess it wasn’t too bad? It makes me a bit sad that there wasn’t that much focus on Hellfire (other than the obvious Father bias). I still wanted to know more about Joker and a lot of stuff with him felt really contradictory. The game was also more guro than I had expected. I mean I knew it was a dark game, I expected blood here & there, but Hiyori’s route definitely left me more than shocked Σ(Д`|||ノ)ノ. My biggest complaint is the CG choices. I’m not necessarily complaining about the CGs that I got (especially since a lot of the new ones looked great) BUT since you’ve remade the game 3 fucking times, would it kill you to add some kiss CGs? There were multiple scenes that had kissing but all we got was some text and a black screen lol. I think only 3 character got any kiss CGs (with some uh Munakata bias there) while the rest were left up to imagination. Because the game was remade 3 times a lot of people commented on the art and yea it’s different let’s face it. Here’s a comparison:

Click for larger

So yea they took the base and edited a few body pieces and touched up all the CGing. Still though, a lot of sprites had Karin’s infamous yaoi hands (especially Father and Zacharius :lol:). I got used to the art style though since it was similar to Princess Nightmare. On the topic of Princess Nightmare, a lot of the feel of this game, reminded me of that game and hey they even had a character from this game appear in that game! So yea it was interesting to see the easter eggs :D. As far as heroine, I think Maria’s alright. She’s not written to act like she’s overly strong but she’s doing the best she can with what she’s got. She’s no Little Draculair but I’d say she’s maybe on par with Henrietta from Zettai Meikyuu Grimm. Also as all Karin heroines, Maria is also voiced in this game which was a nice touch but I think those who like to self insert are gonna find it hard to self insert in this game lol.As far as the dudes go, if it wasn’t obvious already I LOVE KLAUS but I also love Uriel. I love Uriel and his magical side nipples that seemed to only show up in his sprite but would vanish in any CGs where he was getting beaten up. We’ve come to the conclusion that if the magical side nipples aren’t there, Uriel’s losing because when he was winning, they were totally there! ヽ(*´ェ`)ノ┌┛Σ(ノ´ェ`)ノ The drama CDs that came with the game were a joke. They were 6-8 minutes for the whole CD at which point I wonder…why even bother? 😆 I liked the artbook that came with it though I would recommend not looking through that until you’ve finished the game cause it has spoilers for a lot of the new CGs. Anyway if you’ve never played this game I highly recommend for the good story and fun characters. I’d definitely go for this edition vs the original or PSP port simply because of the new gorgeous CGs and the funny Sengoku omake.  I’m still crossing my fingers that Karin will port Mysteria to PC and that’s when I will finally play that game xDDD.

42 thoughts on “Otome Game Review: The Exorcism of Maria ~Complete Edition~

  1. Lol Karin tends to port their game to PC, just hope Mysteria also will have DC version /o\ Anyway I’m glad the game turns out to be good, but wow lots of endings in the games *A* , and I kinda interested with Urial xD

    1. Seeing how they’ve released a DC version for every game they’ve ported to PSP it’s probably very likely. I’ll look forward to the port then! 😀

  2. I’ve played Maria on PSP before and it’s one of my favourite games. Just like you, I like Uriel and Klaus the most, well, Uriel the most xD However, I was rather disappointed when I played the PC version. Yeah, there were tons of new CGs, and the art was fantastic, even better than the PSP version. But…. you’re right, where the hell are new kissing CGs?????? What’s the reason of porting this game to PC once again if nothing’s really changed??? I wanted to buy the limited edition but it’s good that you told us about the drama cds. I feel like I’ve been tricked by Karin >.>
    But regarding the artbook, how big is it? What are the contents? I wonder if I should buy it for the artbook… I’m a big fan of the game. But I generally prefer PSP to PC since I’m rarely at home.

    1. I think if you’ve played the PSP version the PC one doesn’t bring that much to the table? Since this was my first play I figured I’d go for the one with the most content even if meant a few new CGs xD. As far as the artbook its just outlines/Cgs of the new CGs, a couple short stories and some sprites from sengoku no Maria. Not worth buying the PC port just for the artbook in my opinion ^^

  3. “Uriel and his magical side nipples” <– I burst out laughing at this. When I first saw Uriel's sprite, I went 'huh..? is that… his nipples..? O_o ' then wave it off as… uh… some art failure. ヽ(*´ー`*)ノ

    Wonderful review as always, Hinano. I've only gotten midway thru Hiyori's route and the depressing stuffs just overwhelmed me. Guess I'm spoiled now so i'll just take my time finishing the rest. =3

    1. Lol I’ve never seen an outfit where like a nipple peeks through for a dude like that
      then again most otome games don’t even draw man nipples so 😆
      Hiyori’s route is a bummer but Uriel and Klaus are adorable so I hope you enjoy those!

  4. Saw this on the RSS feed and the first comment into my head was what the hen-exorcist would say: “I will exorcise you with my Magic Stick!”. ’nuff said.

    More comment later after reading the wall of text.

  5. Thanks for the lengthy review! I enjoyed reading it. ^_^ I knew this would be an interesting and fun game! Just so you know, the Sengoku omake was their April Fools joke for this year (or last year?) so they just included that in rather than have it never be seen again.

    1. Ooh right now that you mention it, that does ring a bell.
      In that case, seeing how they didn’t even need to do anything new they really SHOULD have voiced it in the port 😦

  6. Woah… textwall ahead. xDDD Seems like you had plenty of fun playing this game, seeing how long your review got. 8D 8D Well, Karin… I’d be really happy if Mysteria would get a PC port. That would be so awesome. wwwww And YES for voiced heroines. I kind of don’t like the self-insert me in a game. xD It’s so weird. LMAO I rather ship the real heroine with one of the guys. Hahahaha.

    Well, I guess I’ll be commenting more on the game, when I finished reading your tl;dr. xDDD

    1. I think the issue is more the fact that there’s like 13 routes to go through which is why it got so long lol. I didn’t realize it when I played but when it came time to write my review I’m like damn that’s a lot of characters 😆 I always ship the heroine with the guys too I mean for gods sake the heroine is 14, I don’t wanna self insert into someone half my age ( ゚∀゚)ァハハ八八ノヽノヽノヽノ \ / \/ \

  7. Is that first picture of Munakata holding a chibi devil Uriel? That’s so adorable! Thanks again for another great review. I find sometimes that when I actually play the games, your reviews were more fun to read than playing through certain scenes, so props to you (*cough*magical side nipples*cough*). I feel like you could write your own otome game or maybe just be like a game adviser. Sometimes I feel like the quality of their games would spike exponentially if they had someone like that closer to the target audience who could tell them that they could use a little more plot here or they could use less of that here, etc. Of course, a lot of what you get out of a game changes depending on the person, but I feel like a lot of the points you bring up are legit.

    I love voiced heroines. I would totally buy this game just for that because voiced heroine games just seem like such a small percentage of the whole business. This could be because I also don’t self-insert and it makes me not have to read quite so diligently. I feel like it just adds so much more life to the story because the heroine seems like she has more of a personality.

    That’s pretty junk about the kiss CGs too, especially because a lot of the story seemed like it would appropriately lead up to one and then you just get left hanging. I don’t know if they realize how much that adds and how disappointing the black screens of implication are.

    I was surprised how many characters there were in this game. In each route, I’d keep reading about all these different people, but I didn’t expect like…all of them to get their own routes xD. Even the parallel story and Sengogku no Maria sound amusing, but it is a shame that the latter wasn’t voiced.

    I’m glad you were able to find a good game! I know it hasn’t been the best year for games and you’ve been disappointed a lot, so it’s nice to see that some are still pulling through. I wasn’t aware that some companies did PSP first and then ported to PC. I thought it was usually the opposite way so that was something new I learned.

    All in all the characters sounds great and the story sounds pretty interesting so next time I’m ordering more games I’ll be looking into this one.

    1. yes that’s Uriel’s chibi form! 😀
      haha well for a good time come by the broadcast if you haven’t already. it can be dead sometimes but for some reason a lot of people showed up for Maria and we all laughed at various things xD

      the thing is like we know there was kissing. it even says in the text like “and then his lips touched mine” but instead of a CG we just see black screen of doom. if it was like implied in the text then whatever but clearly there’s opportunity for a CG and they just didn’t put one in.

      and while there’s a lot of charas a lot of their routes are really really short especially hellfire. I was able to do Illumina and Father in about 4 hours lol.

      1. I really want to, but I think the time difference where I live makes it difficult to tune in when you’re actually broadcasting. It does sound like a lot of fun though.

        That’s pretty annoying. It seems lazy because it’s the perfect opportunity for a CG but it’s wasted.

        Both their routes? That’s definitely too short. Having remade the game several times, do you think they’d ever make a FD to fill in the gaps?

  8. I see you’ve taken my side nipples comment into consideration XD And yes, wonderful text wall, I’ve read everything. And I didn’t know Ururu was Uriel until I read you review so I was like oh shat I’ve been an idiot and I was watching the broadcast all along! (Btw its SLiel, I just shortened my name for the broadcast) Looking forward to More Blood~

    1. the side nipples thing was the like first thing I noticed when I started playing but I guess after a while I got so used to it, I didn’t think about it until you brought it up again 😆

      and btw last night we all found out who Yuma is so I guess in regards to that there’s no more spoilers xD; but please keep the other stuff to yourself until I make it through the game x3 (and now that I’m putting more time into it hopefully it won’t take too long!)

      1. Oh no problem! The thing about Yuuma is like the only spoilers I know so keeping my mouth shut is pretty easy~
        I’ll be sure not to say anything else!

  9. This is one of my favourite reviews of yours. Partly cause its so long and detailed and I had so much fun reading through it. Partly cause your side comments had me laughing like crazy at times. And partly cause I really want to play this game and I’ll now be ordering it soon thanks to you^^

    Also, as I couldn’t comment on the appropriate post as it’s a rather old post of yours (https://breadmasterlee.com/2012/09/24/bs-log-november-2012/), I’ll say this here too:
    You said you didn’t want those hana awase pamphlets and you’re not a fan of the art and the game either. I was wondering, did you throw them out? I know it’s been a rather long time too ^^; I feel really silly and hesitant about asking this, but um, would you be willing to maybe give them to me? I on the other hand, really enjoyed hana awase and would be so happy to get those pamphlets. I have no otome merch whatsoever cause shipping to canada’s always so expensive for my pocket. I only own two otome games LOL So um yeah that’s all and thank you for reading this. It would be amazing if you could consider it and we could work something out, thank you!

    1. Actually I had already sold them to someone on ebay, sorry!
      And thanks for reading and glad my review convinced you to get the game, I hope you enjoy it! 😀

      1. Noooo I was too late then :/ I need to find a place where I can get otome merch and posters for cheap (especially the shipping o_o). Darn, kay thanks anyways!

  10. Thanks for ur amazing review as always !
    Actually I’m a new otome gamer,
    Do u suggest this game to me too?
    I don’t want to play a game with difficult story or plot, since all Japanese I know, I learned them from anime, And I watched Japanese anime for about 1.5 year,,,, 9_9
    (some games I’ve played so far: UtaPri ~Repeat~, Amnesia, Amnesia ~Later~, Shiratsuyu no kai , currently playin NORN9 and understanding it completely )
    Thanks again Hinano-san !
    I’m counting SECONDS for ur DIALOVER ~More Blood~ review !!!!!!!

    1. Sorry it’s taking me a while to play because there are 10 routes and they’re all 5-6 hours each ^^;
      I still have 4 to go.
      I can’t really suggest what games to play based on your Japanese knowledge sorry!

      1. Lol! No prob about that !
        I don’t want otomes based on m Japanese knowledge ,
        I mean games with good art and easy system,
        Anyway , enjoying DiaLovers so far ???

  11. Great review as always! I was wondering, why was Kirito separating or pushing Maria and Hiyori away from each other? Also, that long white haired girl in a dress is Illumina, right? The last thing I was wondering is, who out of all the people in Spiritas was the nicest to Maria when she first came there?

    1. ah it’s cause Hiyori was just inching closer to Maria during class one time 🙂
      Illumina has blue hair so I’m not sure who you are referring to?

      I guess the nicest person to Maria when she first came there is probably either Mikagami or Kirito! Though as the game progresses as lot of stuff changes 😛

      1. Ok, thanks! I mean like, the person is has red eyes and a purple flower choker on her neck. She’s in the parallel story picture. She has purple bows in her hair and is with joker and zead, I think.

  12. I was skipping this one since I already played this twice, but the extra cgs and new scenarios…no fair Karin!

    I’m so sad to see that Zead has no new ending in this. I love him so much and the last moments of his ending in La Campanella made me so sad. Poor guy can never win.

    And the game is really, really good now, but the first version was a lesson in pain. None of the hellfire guys got good ends, so you never even got to see Illumina’s non trap form, plus his and Zead’s bad endings….and can you imagine how mad I was when I went through Klaus route and got the exorcist ending? I still liked it because of the plot and Karin’s characters are awesome, and at the time it was one of the better written otome games, but at some point I dreaded getting the endings.

    1. yea Zead is pretty much screwed forever. We all felt bad for him during the broadcast.

      yea I’m glad that I could never get the original game to work due to compatibility cause the remake had way better stuff in it 😀

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