Otome Game Review: Tokyo Yamanote Boys -Honey Milk-
I told myself after Vitamin X I’d avoid Rejet games like the plague but since this game is short and fairly simple to go through I figured why not! None of the guys really appeal to me but they have a winning cast of seiyuu which then obviously puts it into the seiyuuge- category along with Crappy Magic & Starry Sky. Unlike Starry Sky, the premise of TYB is very simple. It’s a competition where a high school girl chosen as the “princess” must get cozy with some mans and then pick her destined one. When she & that guy are prince & princess then there’s some legend that they’ll live happily ever after. So yes the game concept is quite shallow but there was definitely things I didn’t expect so beware of spoilers ahead lol.
Ninomiya Yuuto – I did Yuuto first because he was so god damn annoying. I mean I actually liked Tsubasa in VX but this guy just tops it all lol. I guess maybe because I don’t think Suzumura should be doing snobby rich boy roles. He’s better when he does silly genki characters. Anyway Yuuto’s so busy swimming in money he has no idea what the “peasants” do in their spare time. The one thing that branded itself in my mind about Yuuto is his golden mankini thong. Ugh it’s like his pelvis is really skinny then you have this giant ding dong in that thong of his (Oh well maybe Chihiro will be happy.) So for the first 3 days the 3 guys & Chihiro go around various date spots together but on days 4-6 Chihiro spends time along with Yuuto. Because she picked him, she gets some crazy bitch stalker named Marin who imagines in her mind that she & Yuuto will be getting married so then attempts to stab Chihiro but fails and then gets killed by the random serial killer running around town So on days 4-6 Chihiro gets tired of the rich boy act and tells Yuuto she wants to know his real self, not his wallet. Yuuto bitches about it but then agrees to listen to her and he learns for the first time how to use a vending machine with gasp…coins! He buys her a drink and she’s so happy and says its the first “real” present he’s given to her (rather than buying the entire clothing store and sending it to her house…)
So in Ending 1 Chihiro picks Yuuto as her prince and they go do the mattress mambo at a love hotel or something. You then have to do the normal ending to get the true end, in which basically they shake hands but Yuuto says he’ll basically now be her stalker lol. So here’s where suddenly we enter the twilight zone. Here’s me thinking this is just a silly dating sim and the true end would have them getting married or something like that right? Wrong! Suddenly the random serial killer starts showing up more & more threatening to kill Chihiro which apparently makes Yuuto really jealous. How DARE this crazy man be more obsessed with Chihiro than I am! So Yuuto uses his money to do research and at the same time suddenly Chihiro gets some weird heart mark tattoo on her arm. Soo turns out Chihiro has some crazy Creeping 6 Virus! It was injected into her when she became the Princess intentionally by the President of the TYB event. She apparently spreads this virus like the freaking bubonic plague and while everyone gets it, those who are weak are the first ones to show it and pretty much everyone can die! Because she’s the “mother” carrier of the virus the children affected by it show up in her head and she can hear people screaming for help from miles away. Pleasant isn’t it!The virus also grows on people’s emotions so the reason that the TYB was made was to have the girl who carries the virus have her love emotions run wild while she chooses a hot bishie! The only way to overcome the virus was if you have “true love” which I guess is why the President never died from it? What does he have true love for ? High school girls? Freaking pedobear.
Apparently the virus carriers can only be underage females Once the virus fully evolves, it will basically take over the girl’s body and even after she dies, her “body” will remain alive as a vegetable and continue producing the virus. What the fuck is this terrorism? ( ´ﾟдﾟ｀) So then some other company made a vaccine to combat the virus but it kinda failed which is why you have Morikawa Toshiyuki voicing some crazy zombie running after Chihiro yelling “I will kill you *__*” over & over. So at one point Chihiro tries to go find the “Vaccine” zombie to get it to kill her but Yuuto’s like “no bebe you musn’t!” He does some research & concludes that if she drinks that vaccine dude’s blood then the virus inside her should theoretically disappear. All the TYB guys come to help find Mr. Vaccine and then when he finally shows up, I guess Yuuto goes cannibalistic and bites him or something because then he goes & kisses Chihiro and transfers its blood to her Suddenly everything is resolved! The virus cases are forgotten with time and TYB is cancelled forever. I don’t know what happened to the President but I guess he had to be arrested or something lol what a creepy bastard. So in this true ending, Yuuto and Chihiro are in the house where he was raised and once again he invites her for mattress mambo round 2. ｲﾔ—–(*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)—–ﾝ!!!! Okay I admit I didn’t get all kyun there simply because Yuuto’s snob personality/voice annoyed me from the beginning until the end. The true end for Yuuto was just like…what the fuck? XD It kinda reminded me of Tsundere S Otome where it was this priest guy and before you know it they’re in some wonderland fighting monsters or something
Momose Ayumu – While Ayumu was kinda cute I just couldn’t take him seriously because thanks to that pink hair and those white shorts no matter how much I tried he just looked too much like a girl to me. I don’t mind when Yonaga Tsubasa voices shotas but I just can’t be moe for a shota who’s borderline trap lol. I mean at least in Vitamin X Goro then started to LOOK like a guy….Ayumu pretty much stayed pinky the entire game. The weirdest part is how his brother has like brown hair and looks pretty….normal. What happened to Ayumu? Was he adopted? Since Ayumu is 16 that makes him the “younger” guy as well I guess and for some reason he’s also shorter than the heroine (which again didn’t help cut down the girl image…) Ironically though, all the old farts at Ayumu’s home town Sugamo freaking love him. I mean everywhere he goes all the old farts just mob him forcing him to play chess or eat dangos. He apparently also does owarai skits & sings songs under the name Momomago.
When Chihiro goes to see Sugamo and meet all his old fart friends they accept her and Ayumu says she’s the ideal girl to marry him – all his old geezer friends love her! So as usual in ED1 she picks Ayumu and they hug & kiss and he says when he gets older he wants to marry her, hump like rabbits and have a million kids & grandkids. Alrighty then. （ಠ_ಠ） Normal ending was so sad for me to do. I had to just “Jump” my way through it because Ayumu looked so sad when you rejected him lmfao. Like rejecting Yuuto was like “lol asshole serves you right” but here I was like (´；ω；｀). In the Normal end Ayumu asks her to visit Sugamo when she has the chance. So just like with Yuuto, ED3 is basically the Virus story route. Additionally though we have a side story where the brother Ayumu admired is now destroying mom & pop stores in Sugamo in order to build a massive shopping mall. I mean I can kinda see his brother’s point that “If we don’t build new and modern buildings all the old geezers will die and there will be nobody left in Sugamo” On the other hand I feel sorry for the dango grandma who is a widow and the only thing she had to remember her husband by was their dango shop.
So Ayumu cries a river like the immature child that he is saying he wants everyone to be HAPPI bawwww. So then the vaccine plot comes up & as usual Chihiro’s like “lol I guess I’ll go die now” and Ayumu’s like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” and so then Yuuto shows up to tell them that they need Mr. Vaccine’s blood. For some reason while Yuuto couldn’t get his gun army to stop that guy, shota here kicked his ass like it was nothing ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ ＼ / ＼/ ＼ And so he grabbed some blood from the dude and let Chihiro drink it from his hand. She passed out and then Yonaga Tsubasa made my ear drums bleed but she woke up & everything was awwwright. So then the 2 of them go to Ayumu’s bro and Ayumu’s like “You wanna destroy my old geezer shops? Challenge accepted.” And so they conclude this ending with Ayumu & Chihiro making out in the middle of the street while the old geezer peanut gallery cockblocks them. Ah well…again just couldn’t really get into Ayumu because no matter who they cast as his voice, if he looks like a chick the whole time, it’s not gonna cut it. If they only gave him some kind of a makeover at the end it would have been more acceptable. Oh well!
Misaki Kotaro – Kotaro I left for last because he was the most fun character in my eyes. He wasn’t an obnoxious snob like Yuuto and not a weird trap shota surrounded by old farts like Ayumu. That’s not to say that Kotaro was the best thing since sliced bread because he was basically a gyaruo. This means he talks like a valley girl (teki mitai na~!) and wears incredibly bright clothing while attaching weird straps to his cell phone and taking pics randomly. Additionally Kotaro also is good at soccer and he loves to dance & hit on girls in Ikebukuro. Sadly even though he’s known as Ikebukuro’s “Love Tiger” it’s an ironic nickname because he’s been rejected like 99 times Between the 3 guys though he was the only one who wore a normal swimsuit, since Yuuto was in his golden thong and Ayumu wore his tight boy shorts. If it wasn’t obvious by his personality Kotaro hates studying so he isn’t the brightest thing around. His family runs a fruit store and his dream is to marry some girl and run the fruit store together.
Because of this whole fruit thing I guess it’s gone too his head because he calls girls nicknames like “Pine-chan” (Pineapple) and refers to Chihiro as Berry-chan. Basically he’s like a farm boy xD. The gals at Ikebukuro make fun of him saying he’s fun to talk to but nobody would ever take him seriously but Chihiro stands up for him saying that they just don’t know his real self. I mean yea it’s kinda hard to take him seriously when he says things “so like we’re totally in lovelove mode and stuff like oh my god yea?” Lol so anyway as usual ED1 is the regular raburabu end where they make out in Ikebukuro at night and he adds all sorts of fruit related erotic puns. Normal ending Kotaro still is in love with Chihiro and asks if she will come to Ikebukuro so they could hang out some more. ED2 is the virus story as usual. This time the setting takes place in Kotaro’s house where Yuuto comes to give the info dump. Some assholes abduct Chihiro’s friend Hina and tell her that if she doesn’t come and “get killed” they will kill her friend instead. Chihiro & Kotaro go there but before any violence can take place Mr. Vaccine shows up and because Kotaro’s got Chihiro’s love aids, he’s able to beat him up and transfer the blood to her via kiss (like in Yuuto’s route.)
Also the fat ramen guy like totally held Mr. Vaccine back. It was so funny ﾌﾟｯ(※థэథ)∵.*.∵ So then Kotaro’s so love struck he passes out and is taken to the hospital for no apparent reason. In the epilogue Kotaro gives Chihiro some dollar store ring and says he wants her to marry him in the future and run the fruit shop together. They make out on the roof of some building in Sunshine City (or as the game says Shunsign City). I guess after you complete all the guys, the omake scenario pops up where the company who made Mr. Vaccine is like “lol the president died. serves him right ohohoho what a loser”. I also checked out Mr. Vaccine’s secret stories and basically apparently he was in love with Chihiro and he was all like “I am dying for your sake, good luck with your mans~｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД`)･ﾟ･｡ ” Lol I can’t say I was touched I mean all the guy ever did is show up going KOROSUUUU. Morikawa sounded like he was as into his acting as like scratching his buttcheek or something. Probably pissed that he got cast as some guy who will prolly die 3 times in every TYB disk instead of one of the bishies
Well it was a short game but it was okay I guess. I think more than the game story I was actually impressed by the game system. The click on CG to get extra sounds was a nice touch. The game console/menus all felt clean & well designed. Everything was easy to navigate and since the game was wide screen the CGs felt large & crisp. Also compared to Vitamin X the artist has leveled up over 9000 That’s not to say the system didn’t have some serious bugs. The first & foremost was the window bug that if you were to click outside the game window, the game would immediately stop. That means you couldn’t like multi-task while you played. Secondly, when you would flip windows, for some reason the BGM would disappear. For a while I thought it was some weird BGM disappearing bug so I started playing random otome game BGMs in my broadcast….but then in Ayumu’s route I discovered that it’s not that the BGM would disappear but the volume would magically just make itself at the lowest point…so that you couldn’t hear it. Same thing though, BGM kept disappearing if I even accidentally clicked on another window so I had to go into config often & make it loud again. When someone would talk the BGM would become so LOW that when the dialogue returned to Chihiro, it would be this sudden loud blast of music. The “skinship” system was cute. It’s like you got to “take the hand of your bishie of choice” but it was annoying that there was nothing else to it. It’s not like how in Beastmaster you had a challenge of “rubbing” the furry animal a certain way to get him to enjoy it. Here you could click with your toes and it would be acceptable as long as you clicked on the guy’s hands. If you clicked on shoulders/faces/stomachs you’d just get a silly reaction but it would give no affection points. (Hand holding ftw? XD)
The heroine never came with a default name. I had to ask on Twitter wtf her name was because it was like deeply hidden in the website. I kept renaming her to like 姫 or 地味子 though. You could make her last name うんこ and it wouldn’t matter since they didn’t use her last name a single time that I recall. Auto-mode would CONSTANTLY stop. I’m a hard-core auto-mode user and every time I had to do a skinship or pick a choice, or it would leave Chihiro’s room to go see the dude, auto-mode would just stop. Like UGH STOP STOPPING. Auto-mode also bugged out on me a lot. Sometimes a line would jump ahead of the voice and I’d hear voice files tripping on themselves @@. Complaints aside, the omake sound section was nice, but not nearly as nice as the sounds in Vitamin X. If they only had the VAs do the same exactly lines as the ones in the Vitamin X sound gallery I would have been 10 times happier. I mean the basic stuff is okay but it just felt a bit lacking. On the topic of lacking, apparently, you can’t even unlock the volume 6 of the sounds because you need save files from the 2 upcoming TYB disks. What the shit is this? Crappy Magic? (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ 彡┻━┻
Not amused Rejet, not amused. One of Chihiro’s friends Ayane – I don’t even know why they created her or had anyone voice her because all she ever said was “IINE!” “Your boyfriend sounds like a loser..” “IINE!” （ಠ_ಠ）I wanted to kick her. None of the Secret Stories had voices, or auto or skip so I didn’t even read most of them. Also by the time I was on the 3rd guy’s route, the virus plot just got extremely old. There was nothing really different in regards to it in any of the routes. If anything I’d say maybe Kotaro’s was the most “different” but Ayumu & Yuuto were practically identical. As a tip, if you have trouble getting the missing voices try to get the normal ending for the guy with 45 or less affection points. The way to do this is to not take his hand and sometimes pick options for other guys or pick options that will not raise his affection level. I was able to unlock all the (available) voices this way. Anyway it’s a short game so I guess it’s worth checking out? I’d recommend playing the guy who appeals to you most first simply because of the repetitive side plot will just get boring in the next 2. Not really looking fwd to Super Mint (trap & Yusa lol) but I liked the guys in Dark Cherry a lot so I hope that one will be interesting…and hopefully they will iron out the system kinks in the upcoming disks.
Posted on May 16, 2011, in Otome Games and tagged kaji yuuki, miura hiroaki, morikawa toshiyuki, morikubo shoutaro, namikawa daisuke, Rejet, suwabe junichi, suzuki tatsuhisa, suzumura kenichi, tokyo yamanote boys, toriumi kousuke, yonaga tsubasa, yusa kouji. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.