A Week in FFXIV: [7/9/2019 – 7/15/2019]

Mandragora garden

Spent most of the week crafting, gathering and doing side quests. Warning for some mental health tl;dr after the jump.

One of the things that’s been kinda grief inducing is the fact that my main job (SMN) has been changed to be unfun and unpleasant to play. Due to this I started leveling white mage, my 2nd sub job, and it’s a million times more enjoyable. So now I’ve decided to main WHM for a while in hopes they will eventually adjust smn to be less shitty but my hopes are dim.

I don’t care that it’s made of clay, it’s a pigasus

I got all my crafters to 80 and all my gatheres except fisher is still floundering at 77. It’s no hard to level, I just can’t find the motivation. One day. I’ve cleared out all the class quests for crafters and cleared out all the subquests in Il Mheg, Raktika and Tempest. Going to work on a few others while leveling Black Mage and Red Mage. I’m a job crisis right now which kinda leads me to something I’ve wanted to talk about regarding FFXIV that’s been bothering me for probably the last 6 years and will probably not ever change.

Lali ho!

One of the things in FFXIV that I hate is it basically forces you to group up with randos to clear content. Now when it’s easy story content, casual stuff, it’s no problem. No matter how skilled/unskilled someone is you can USUALLY clear everything. Unfortunately when it comes to more difficult content such as savage raids or extreme primals you need thick skin and nerves of steel to make it through. If you have anxiety (like I do) it absolutely aggravates it and can induce panic attacks when all the right (or rather wrong) situational markers are checked off.

WHM ftw!

I used to raid, I had statics, but I found it unpleasant, I felt like I put more effort and was more ready than others in my group and generally I was tired and didn’t feel like raiding after a long work day. I had stopped raiding and resigned myself to not caring because in the end, all content gets easier with gear and time. I don’t care about clearing during relevancy and the “challenge” doesn’t appeal to me (in fact it causes me stress and does the opposite.) I had since resigned to doing the same for ex primals, particulary on Japan data center, because Japanese players see “English” client and immediately start pointing fingers at the foreigner even if the foreigner follows their rules/macros and speaks Japanese. So I was peacefully enjoying my game, crafting, gathering doing casual stuff without any stress.

2 years later, I still suck at black mage

Unfortunately certain people egged me into trying this content again. Knowing that it upsets me, (even my husband knows it upsets me) I decided sure, if these friends are going to clear with me, then it’s not so bad right? But as it turned out, everyone ended up clearing without me, and leaving me behind. Despite them trying to “help me” I guess playing with friends you don’t try as hard because ayy friends won’t get mad, so feels like there was less effort put in than when they cleared with others. Because yea I’m nice, I won’t judge, I don’t mind wiping but would be nice if you would put in the effort you put with randos as you put with me. Needless to say, this aggravated my anxiety, made me remember why I never did this content in the first place…and on top of that I was told to go “clear with randos” despite the fact that going with random players, especially on Japan, literally makes me shake in my seat from the panic.

kinda miss my bun bun

So after a night of thinking on it, I realized I simply was just hanging with the wrong people. True friends wouldn’t egg you on to do content that upsets you, and instead would actually help you rather than make you feel miserable. So clearly, I just need to remove those kind of people from my life. Regardless, this kind of thing frequently happens in XIV simply because the game basically forces you into this stupid “do shit with randos” content and not everyone is going to be nice and accepting, and especially not racist japanese people lmao. So all I need to do is just step back, go back to doing things I enjoy in game (like making tons of gil) and tell myself that with time, this content will be a joke. Heck even ex primals from Stormblood are now a faceroll with undersize feature. So why stress over it now? I have plenty of things to do still (on multiple characters) and I don’t need people ruining the game for me that I pay for monthly.

big chungus

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I just had to get it out because I really do love FFXIV but that part of it constantly aggravates me so I tend to avoid it like the black plague and honestly my game time is more peaceful. I mean, what’s the point of stressing over a video game??? 😒 I’ve been playing on my Japan server character since expansion dropped but I need to probably take a break from my Japan character and maybe play on NA for a bit again. Sometimes you just gotta get away from things that stress and depress.