This was originally on D3P’s smakare app but I never got to it before the app shut down so I picked up during a steam sale. I just want to go ahead & say this is the WORST SmaKare game I have played to date and I can’t believe I sat through the entire thing 😂😂. And now I bring you a review full of ranting and profanity because this game is filthy. You have been warned!
I’d like to first of all dub this game as OFFICE SEXUAL HARASSMENT because they treat Jane like eyeless blow up doll that she is portrayed as in the CGs! She actually attempts to work hard on getting her work done at this make up company, but instead she just gets mansplained to and eventually just negged into sleeping with whoever’s route you are on.
Otori Haruyuki – Haru is the douchey CEO of this makeup company who tells everyone NO ROMANCE ALLOWED – except if it’s with him so that means he’s allowed to bang Jane and everyone else can get cucked. He assigns her the role of “his private SEXcreatry” for the project and instead of quitting her job or suing him, she of course, agrees. 😂 He ends up using her to fuck his company and well, fuck her, until he throws her out saying he just used her. Apparently it was all part of his plan to ruin the company and then magically bring it back even better from the ashes. Somehow, this worked, and at the expense of Jane getting banged by him in multiple places while she just ~accepted it~ because she’s fallen for his PUA bullshit.
Hyoga Akihito – This dude apparently had a wife who isn’t his real wife – she was a live in wife, kind of like a common law wife who just lived with him. Despite her literally staying at home with him and being his blow up doll and making him dinner, it wasn’t good enough because he had to hit on his coworker Jane Smith! On top of this, the side character Ken who I was hoping had a route, turned out into a massive rumor spreading shitlord who put photoshopped pics of Jane & Hyoga all over the office. Wow. Shitlord on top of shitlord in this game! In the end Hyoga just dumps his “wife” and bangs Jane in the president’s office. Lovely.
Kunizo Mahiro – The steam walkthrough said this guy was sweet so I decided to give him a chance. Unfortunately like the other guys in this game, he’s just yet another shitter. Not only is he jealous of anytime Jane here talks to a coworker – about work none the less, he also can’t control his DICK. He needs to fuck like 24/7 which is why he randomly screws Jane in the office after hours. And I don’t mean in an enclosed conference room or the janitor closet, I mean right in the middle of the GIANT OPEN JAPANESE OFFICE. SURELY this company has security cameras, which I believe WERE mentioned in Otori’s route. 😂 His big plot device is his family makes makeup product materials and the rival company buys it from them. Also apparently he’s Otori’s second cousin and they wanted to set him into an arranged marriage. He of course had to be like no I only want to bang Jane in the open office, not that other hoe! Needless to say, ew. Also his route was borderline R-18, they talked about fapping and how the tip of his dick is hard. Wao. 😂😂😂
Kaido Ryo – Ryo was the obvious kichiku megane persona so I expected him to just be douchebag express from start to finish. Unfortunately, he didn’t prove me wrong. What was surprising, is apparently before partnering with Jane, he saw her work from when she was in marketing and thought it was really good and that’s why he requested management to get her in the same PR department as him. DESPITE THIS, when she IS partnered with him, the first thing he does is ask her when was the last time she got laid and then insults her about how she’s not a woman and she has no taste in makeup or outer appearance. His kichiku megane bullshit of course is a HUGE TURNON for Jane and makes her panties fly off every time he bangs her in the office or the hotel room. Moving on. ಠ_ಠ
Saijo Sadayoshi – I was praying to the jaezus lawd that Mr. former boss would be the one redeeming dude in this game full of trashbags. Turns out, he was! Yes he was the only guy whose plot didn’t circle around abusing Jane or being a huge douchebag PUA. That said, his plot just was really weird because it involved some spriteless rando who had some beef with him and then decided to take it out on Jane by hacking her computer constantly (you’d think they’d beef up their security THE FIRST TIME she got hacked!??) and stealing her documents or sending emails on her behalf. But yea other than that, Jane just wanted to bang him all the time, and they banged in the office so much that in one of the CGs the office desk actually transformed into what looked like a bed to me. 😂😂😂 Oh and also in all the extras, he banged her multiple times in conference rooms and at one point couldn’t contain himself and just started making out in front of Mahiro showing him the way to the door. So maybe if they tuned down his horny-meter a bit he would have been decent but Jane went along with it so I guess at least it wasn’t forced on her cause she wanted that #easyD. 😂
Needless to say, DO NOT RECOMMEND 😂😂😂 But in case you’re in the mood for pain, and the game’s on sale for $2 on steam, you can get it here. Alternatively, you can also live vicariously through my collection of tweets throughout the suffering. I’ve reviewed other D3P smakare games which are also available on steam and I honestly found Stalking Love (I believe the English title is Secrets of Me) & My Secret Pets a lot better. That said, I played those in Japanese so I don’t know how bad or incredibly hilarious the translation is going to be. 😂