Otome Game Review: Kamigami no Asobi

Kusanagi Yui is your average high school girl living with her family who owns a shrine. One day she finds some magical sword at the shrine and before she knows it, she’s teleported into a miniature garden created by a bored Zeus.  The mini garden contains a high school and not only is she to attend it, but her fellow classmates are Greek, Norse, Japanese and Egyptian gods (whose powers have all been restricted by Zeus)! Her job is to now attend school with these other gods and teach them about HUMAN EMOTIONS such as LOVE! Unfortunately, our heroine is completely inexperienced in the love department, but those who disobey Zeus’ orders get a lightning bolt to the butt.

Apollon – Apollon, also known as Ahollon is one of those routes that crushes all self inserters dreams! That’s right Mary Sue, he’s just NOT into you! Apollon becomes the president of the student council and one of his things is to constantly repeat words twice and give everyone weird nicknames. For example Balder becomes BaruBaru and the heroine becomes YOUSEI-SAN. ( ´_ゝ｀) Anyway it seems like he’s constantly hitting on Yui from the start and I’m like all suspicious as fuck after Dialovers when it comes to the flirty characters. Needless to say, my suspicion wasn’t in vain because turns out, he’s only been hitting on Yui because SHE LOOKS LIKE CASANDRA, THIS HUMAN LADY IN TROY LOL. So yaaaa Apollon’s in love with Casandra and he’s only been hitting on Yui cause they look alike. He’s also got this terrible history of all his exgirlfriends turning into plants so imagine dat feel when Yui constantly CONSTANTLY brings him to the greenhouse to “relax” LOL. m9(^Д^)ﾌﾟｷﾞｬｰ  Yui hears his  sob story about how he’s in love with Casandra and plans to confess to her and give her powers to see the future. She tells Apollon to be more honest but somehow this ends up causing his restriction ring to turn black. When Yui asks Zeus why this is happening he rages at her and tells her that if she don’t stop Ahollon’s PMS soon, he’s gonna wipe both of their memories and make them start their happy school life all over again. Yui also finds out that Casandra plans to betray and dump Apollon anyway because after he gives her the power to see the future, she will see the future of them breaking up. Here’s where shit don’t make sense though (and lol Broccoli.) If Zeus can see the future, why doesn’t he just tell Ahollon this himself. If Ahollon is giving Casandra powers to see the future, SURELY HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE HIMSELF so WHY DOES HE GET ANGRY WHEN YUI TRIES TO BE LIKE “YO SHE GON’ DUMP YO ASS BOII”. Needless to say, things never make sense in this game and so Ahollon breaks through his restriction, goes into god-mode and start pooping fire everywhere. Yui tries to calm his tits but the only way to get him to calm down is for her to burn half her body trying to get near him – and confessing that she’s in love with him too!

By this point, Apollon’s fire simmers down, and he’s happy that someone actually loves him and is not about to turn into a plant. Unfortunately Yui just got BBQed so she passes out but thanks to this, Apollon’s restriction ring breaks and he’s now “eligible to graduate”. And so the next day Apollon spends time with Yui ichaichaing in her room because there’s not much time left until graduation so gotta get some sexy time in while they still can.  ＼(^o^)／ Love End 1: Yui faces reality and decides she needs to return home to earth and Apollon says she’s made the right choice. They cry and kiss goodbye and before she knows it, Yui is back in her world going to school like the average teenager. She’s lost all her memories of her time at god school but then MAGICALLY Apollon shows up in front of her and declares how he still loves her. With no explanation Yui hugs him and they live happily ever after! 🙄 Love End 2: Yui decides to stay with Apollon and they hump in heaven happily ever after. (lol Cero B plz.)  Destiny End 1:  Apollon gets in a fight with daddy cause daddy tells him that his friends are dragging him down.  After Apollon tries to talk to him normally Zeus rages at both him and Yui and starts zapping them with lightning bolts.  Turns out Zeus was just trying to be a good dad and to save Apollon from destroying humanity! So then they have their father & son talk and Zeus agrees to give Apollon a chance without immediately wiping his memory. Just then magically the dark scar breaks off Apollon’s hand and everything’s resolved! Apollon tells Yui goodbye and say he’ll be watching over her from above. Lol this ending felt actually canon XD. Destiny End 2: Same as End 1 but this time Yui runs and asks for Hades to help stop the father & son battle. Hades tells Zeus to stop being like his own father and be a little easy on his son. Apollon says he’ll accept his terrible fate and with this magically the cursed ring shatters once more. And so Apollon tells Yui goodbye as he heads off on a tour of the underworld with uncle Hades. Destiny ends are hereforth known as the ホモォ┌（┌ ^o^）┐ ends because that’s all you’re gonna be destined for. Don’t get me wrong, I thought Apollon was cute at first but dat NTR just made me want to kick him in the head the rest of the game and well the rest of the game anything he did pretty much irritated me.

Hades – Oh poor poor Hades. While the rest of the guys get happy endings, most of Hades ends are sad and/or bittersweet. The only good part is because of this, his ends actually feel more unique than most of others in the game lol. Hades is always aloof from everyone because well he’s the god of the underworld and anyone around him will just have misfortunes. Since Hades likes astrology/astronomy they decide to make a little indoor planetarium for him. Destiny Route: Yui decides to tell Hades about the planetarium they’re making. Unfortunately they see someone throwing a chair through their club room window and when they come see it…their planetarium’s been destroyed.  They also find Apollon standing there laughing like a psychopath and he starts destroying what’s left of the planetarium even further. （ಠ_ಠ） Turns out he was posessed by Hades’ curse and when he snaps out of it he’s like WHO AM I WHAT IS THIS O_O.  Eventually they start over and build the little planetarium for Hades inside the club room. Sadly the party’s crashed once more when Apollon’s possessed once more and starts babbling how Hades is not allowed to be happy.  Turns out the curse is the curse of the dead who are angry at him and Zeus is pissed that they’ve possessed his son. So then Zeus asks Hades to go be a miserable fuck so that the curse can go back to him and leave his poor son alone! (´・ω・｀) So they all go run to find Apollon in his true form BBQing everything while begging for someone to save him. End 1:  Apollon says he loves his uncle and wants him to be happy and says he’ll take the curse. And so they have their manly grip of each other’s manboobs as they split the curse between each other.  lol in apollon’s ending he went to hades to underworld with no issues but here just being near hades causes him to get possessed lol ok. End 2:  Hades takes the curse back on himself and says that it was nice while it lasted and says goodbye to everyone. He then goes to Zeus and asks him to return him back to the underworld. Yui runs after Hades and cries hugging him asking him to to go. He wipes her tears and tells her to be strong without him as he returns alone ;_;.

Love Route: Hades invites Yui to his room and says that when a god invites you to his room it means they accept you (*´ω｀*). She finds out from Loki & Thor that Hades loves strawberry daifuku so she decides to bring some before going to his room. He’s so shocked that she brought this for him and immediately starts eating on them all at once. When asked why he got interested in daifuku he says because the kanji sounds like “great luck” to him xD.  He also secretly grows strawberries in his room…  (o;;;:´;Д;`:;;;p[｡+ﾟ:.萌え萌え.:ﾟ+｡]q . He then takes some of the strawberries he grew and eats them with the daifuku while crying tears of joy. Sadly he eats a daifuku that’s past its expiration date and gets sick to his stomach. Yui gives him medicine and asks if there’s a way to make him happy and break his curse and he’s like lol nope.  He then hugs her saying that these moments with her bring him happiness and I cried tears of blood cause there was no CG in this adorable scene ;_;.  Hades thanks her for everything and the next day he disappears. Yui & Co. run around trying to find him but then Toth informs her that Hades has returned to the underworld. Zeus gives Yui a special protective barrier and allows her to go visit Hades in the underworld telling her not to be swayed by the undead. When she gets there all the dead souls start raging at her telling her to GTFO or else they will kill her.  She eventually finds Hades but he says he ain’t going back.  Yui tells him that even if he don’t wanna come back, everyone else wants him back and they’re making a planetarium just for him.  Yui also realized that she’s in love withim and Hades tells her that she’s special to him and he just wanted to protect her from his cursed luck. He then tells her he loves her, and because of this he wants her to return without him. Yui refuses and says if he’s not going back, she’s gonna stay there. Hades warns her that if she says here she won’t ever be able to return to earth and will eventually die here as well. Yui clings on him somehow this convinces him but he tells her to head out first and not turn back no matter what as a trial (like the one with Orpheus.) End 1: Yui feels someone grabbing her hand and turns around, failing the trial,  seeing that it’s Hades. Yui says she don’t care as long as she can be with Hades. Hades is like alrighty then, says his wedding vows to her and  they make out as newly underworld ruler & wife :lol:.

Balder – I got all excited cause it’s been a while since Kamiya Hiroshi was in a game I played (and Juri doesn’t count.) I even though Balder was so adorable with his meat eating and his dojikko-ness but I shoulda taken the meat eating as a hint. DAT MAN BE A 肉食男子!!! Needless to say, he starts hittin dat shiat from the very start. Balder’s got some invincibility powers from his mother Frigg so no matter what, nothing can kill him unless he kills himself. So yea, once Yui and Balder go to the beach house to make preparations for the school beach trip, he literally lays her down on the couch and starts groping her all over. (Well I guess it can’t be helped Yui has a giant rack and he’s like dayum son!) At the winter festival they dance together and I think he’s this cute dude and sweet but then he goes back to being a yandere, pushes her down on the ground and starts making out with her going I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER!!!1one Yui pushes him away like wtf dude control yourself  and he’s like I GOT NO TIME BEITCH IF I HAVE TO RAEP U IMA MAKE U LOVE MEEEE. Fortunately Loki comes to the rescue and tells Balder to never be alone with Yui anymore. Loki takes Yui away and tells Balder to calm his ass. Sadly, this is where things started to go downhill. And so after this anytime Balder is alone with Yui, Loki comes to cockblock to make sure he doesn’t turn into a rapist again.  Zeus calls Yui to his office a few days later saying that Yui did a great job helping all the gods graduate. He tells her to enjoy her last moments at the school so she leaves without any regrets. Unfortunately Yui is full of nothing but regrets about her rocky relationship with Balder and her constantly avoiding being alone with him. Instead she ends up spending more time with Loki :/. It gets to the point that Loki intentionally flirts with Yui in front of Balder to the point that it starts to just feel like NTR T_T.  And so one day while Loki is out with Yui, Balder sees them and gets really pissed off at all the NTR. He then starts going berserk and Loki’s like RUN FOR IT UNLESS U WANNA DIE.  And so Balder returns to his full form and battles against Loki who somehow returns to his full form too (lol restraints etc.)

Yui is like NOOO BALDY STAHP and she manages to bring him back to his senses and he returns to his human form. He then explains to Yui that he’s gonna die soon because of his invincibility disease. This is also the reason why he can’t control his powers.  Destiny Route: Even though Balder fuggin tells you that he’s gonna die and he wants you to spend his last moments with him…YOU GO AND NTR AND PICK LOKI LOL WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS. Well turns out that the disease is just a lie not to hurt Balder because in fact he’s really just a WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION. Loki says that before Balder becomes a weapon of mass destruction, he must destroy him. Loki then feels sorry for Balder and they return back to him but somehow Balder’s gotten over his rage and they all go happily to eat meat together like bffs.  And so Yui asks Zeus to hold the graduation ceremony immediately but before the ceremony Balder’s power go out of control again. He then starts breaking shit in the nurse’s office and tells everyone to GTFO and then apologizing for his violent behavior.  After they leave the office both Thor & Loki realize that it’s time to either destroy Balder or destroy the world. End 1: Yui says that they shouldn’t destroy Balder, but they decide to go through it anyway.  They lie to poor Balder and say they’re going on some graduation trip and he’s just happy that everyone is hanging out with him again. They come to that island where they went in the summer, and before Loki kills him Balder says he figured it’s time. He also says he knew that he didn’t have some “invincibility” disease and realized that there was something different about him from everyone else. (´；ω；｀) Loki also tells him that his spear can kill Balder becuase his “invincibility” is not perfect. Balder however doesn’t want his friends to take the burden of his death so he goes and jumps off a cliff into the ocean. Since he is bringing death upon himself that excuses him from the invincibility rule and he dies. Loki’s heartbroken and cries as he punches the ground. The next day everyone goes through the graduation ceremony and says goodbye before returning to their respective worlds. End 2: Yui agrees with them killing Balder and once again they lie and take him to that island and break my heart ;_;.  When Loki attempts to kill Balder he ends up dropping his sword and cries saying he can’t do it.  And due to this Balder goes into berserk weapon mode, Yui vanishes into thin air and Loki turns into his god form to have his PASSIONATE MANLY BATTLE WITH HIS BFF.  And so because Balder’s power level goes over 9000, Thor tells Yui to hit the ground as a huge explosion happens above them. When it’s over, they both realize that Loki sacrificed himself to destroy Balder and save the world.

Strangely I wasn’t actually sad in this ending I think because the awkward character song blew away the seriousness that was going on. Love Route: Yui decides NTRing is bad and well this is Balder’s route so she stays with him instead of going to Loki.  Loki tries to get her to stay away from Balder but if you do the bad end and pick Loki it makes it look like Loki is doing it because Yui is just in the way of their ┌(┌ ^o^)┐ﾎﾓｵ xDDD. Balder finds the 2 of them on the roof and he tells Loki to stop scaring her. He tells Loki that he’s happy for his manlove and all but he’d rather hit dem titties on Yui. Loki gives up and Balder wastes no time hittin dat shit in the nurse’s office. Before the school beach trip Yui starts to realize she’s kind of in love with Balder now.  She then confesses that she loves him on his nice boat during the trip and he’s like yea I know :lol:. And so when they come back from their boat ride Balder goes to brag to everyone about how raburabu they are.  That night Baldy sneaks into her room and they make out while saying each others names informally.  The next day he tells Yui that while he was popular with the ladies, it was all empty and he just wanted some TWU WUV. End 1: Yui decides though she loves Balder, she has to return to her own world. Before saying goodbye Balder tells her not to date any other mans but Yui’s like lol whatever we’re never gonna see each other again anyway.  He thanks her for a good time and kisses her goodbye. When she returns home, cue copypasta ending from Apollon, Balder shows up going “hello my name is Balder and I just came to Japan. Now lets make a promise that we’ll be together forever~”. Yui’s like whut cause all her memories are gone but goes along with it cause why not hot gaijin dude just showed up in front of her lmao. End 2: Yui is like fack my world I’ma stay with my hot long haired ultimate weapon of destruction! And so after graduating Yui and Balder go to his snow bound land and make love, not war, happily ever after! (The fact that he’s in his god form without being some emotionless world destroying weapon …well who cares about all that, as long as we get our raburabu ending!)

Loki – Hrrnnngggg I love Loki. Seriously he’s my favorite guy in the game, though sadly I’M REALLY REALLY FUCKING ANNOYED THAT LIKE HALF OF HIS ROUTE IS HIS BROMANCE WITH BALDER　(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻. Seriously reminds me of how they ruined Tokiya in Debut, oh wait nothing shocking there since it’s the same writer m9(^Д^)ﾌﾟｷﾞｬｰ. Loki is the trickster god and if he doesn’t pull his daily pranks he’ll DIE of boredom. He forms the “going home” club with his bff Thor who only came to the mini garden so he could watch over his 2 childhood friends. (Also Thor clearly came to make me despair that he doesn’t have a route ;_;.)  Yui tries to get Loki to be srs and stop failing and shit but he’s too busy going LOLOL SNAKES UNDER UR FEET LOLOL *runs away* like a 5 year old. She tries to convince him to study in order to learn to make the best “tricks” ever! Somehow this convinces him lmao xD While he falls asleep in the classroom 1 day, she takes a peek closer at his face and he wakes up and grabs her, kissing her. Yui is so shocked she pushes him away and he’s all like LOL GOTCHA! She gets all pissy and he actually feels bad and says he’ll try to tone it down. (๑￫ܫ￩๑)　So yea then Loki gets all bitchy when it comes to anything regarding Balder and nothing that either Yui or Thor can do.　Yui goes to see Loki who seemed pissed but he’s in his dorky mood like before. He finally opens up to Yui a bit and says that when he was younger, everyone would stay away from him cause he was a prankster. Balder was the only one who would laugh at his pranks and not run away in anger or fear. He then claims that Balder is his OTHER HALF and welp I guess there’s no room for Yui in there ＼(^o^)／ But then immediately after he goes flirting with Yui and takes her on a super speedy bike ride.　　They end up at the beach because his bicycle breaks don’t work. They both end up crashing into the beach but Loki catches her so she doesn’t get a sandy mouthful. Afterwards they decide to build a sandcastle together and at night he holds her hand to warm her up ;u;.  He then uses his powers to show her the aurora lights until she falls asleep on his shoulder. (*´ω｀*)

The next morning Loki turns into his god form, cause Zeus’ restraint don’t do shit and he ends up flying and carrying Yui back to the school. Soon as they return to the school, Thor tells Loki that Balder’s gotten ill and passed out and welp goodbye sweet moments with Yui. =_=  Destiny Route: Loki gets pissed off and runs off raging saying Yui doesn’t understand anything but she doesn’t go after him. When Yui finally finds Loki he tells her about how he has to kill Balder.  He then grabs her and shoves his head into her boobies crying about how it’s not fair that he has to kill his bff. End 1: Yui tells Loki he’s gotta what he’s gotta do so he asks her to be with him no matter what happens.  And so the 4 of them go a little bit away from the school and eventually Loki pulls out his knife and stabs Balder (´･ω･`；).  Balder says he knows that it’s for his own good and thanks  Loki before dying. Loki then plans to kill himself so he can be with Balder for all eternity but Yui’s like NO and takes the knife away.  A few days later, everyone graduates from Zeus’ playhouse and they say goodbye to each other before returning to their respective worlds. Before leaving, Loki thanks Yui for supporting him and says he’ll be watching over her. End 2: Yui tells Loki that he shouldn’t kill Balder and due to this Balder goes into berserk mode.  They manage to stop him from going berserk ever again and “cure his disease”. Well turns out they didn’t actually cure it and the shock of Balder’s awakening sent Loki off into dreamland where he has illusions of a happy life with Balder forever & ever. Now Yui and Thor wait every day for Loki to awaken from his trance. Love Route: Yui tells Loki to rely on her when he needs a shoulder to cry on.  After talking things over with her, Loki goes to Balder and apologizes for his raging exit.  Balder tells him to spend less time on the ┌(┌ ^o^)┐ﾎﾓｵ and more time hitting dat sheit with Yui :lol:.  For once, Loki actually gets extremely embarrassed xDDD  (o;;;:´;Д;`:;;;p[｡+ﾟ:.萌え萌え.:ﾟ+｡]q  He then starts to take his studies seriously when Yui is tutoring him. Loki suggests that after graduation Yui come to his world with him instead of returning to hers. Yui says that she’s a human so she needs to return to the human world but Loki for some reason…doesn’t believe her ?_? Lol uhh okay Broccoli. When she convinces him that she’s really a human he’s totally shocked. He says that he thought that she was a god the whole time because he hates humans (´・ω・｀). He’s so shocked about the whole thing that he runs away after she apologizes for not being able to come to his world with him. Seriously I’m more shocked that he DIDN’T PICK UP ON IT IN HIS OWN ROUTE but he totally knew it in other routes wtf!?

Loki then keeps avoiding her until she corners him on the rooftop asking him to continue to study before graduation. He says he’ll think about it but he stops coming to class and continues to avoid her.  Of course he isn’t happy if Yui spends time with any other guy and gets all jelly when he sees her with Thor. Yui chases tsundere-kun down and tells him to stop avoiding her but he just says sorry and runs off again lol. Yui realizes she’s in love with him, and thanks to Thor, he basically sets up so that she and Loki get time alone to talk together.  Soon as he sees her he starts walking away but Yui keeps running after him begging him to wait. (´；ω；｀)  She trips and scrapes her knee and starts crying saying she’s sorry. Loki feels bad for being an ass so he comes over to her and she grabs his hand and tells him that she loves him. Loki then admits that he’s basically bitter that the first person he’s ever loved ends up being a human and that they cannot be together.  Just then his choker breaks which means he’s able to graduate, but he starts crying because this means that now they have to part for sure.  He tells her that he loves her and he’ll spend every last moment with her. (ಥ＿ಥ） And so not a moment too soon Loki shows up in Yui’s room to ichaicha with her while pissing off Melissa xD. As graduation approaches they visit their “going home club” clubroom one last time.  One things leads to another and they end up kissing while sharing a chocolate strawberry candy (/▽*＼)～♪ ｲﾔｧﾝ！！ End 1: Yui says she’s going to return to her world but regrets her decision. No problem though because Loki’s like well if you ain’t comin with me, I’m coming with you!! And so he asks Zeus to let him go with Yui and Zeus is like ok well have fun I guess. As they return to their world, they both have no memories of their time at Zeus’ playhouse but they both feel like they are DESTINED to be together. Needless to say, they both agree to be together until they remember but whatever life with Loki!! XD End 2: Yui decides she’s coming with Loki but tries to trick him by holding out until the last minute. At the last minute Loki’s like lol you’re 100 years too early to pull pranks on the master trickster! 😆 They both go to Norway or wherever the Norse gods live and ichaicha while showing off to Balder and Thor. Loki tells the other two that Yui is his and they better not touch or else GRR! xDD ε-(*´∀`|萌| Guhhh both of Loki’s endings are so sweet and adorable and really what dafuq was Broccoli thinking with all dat homo with Balder e_e;;.

Tsukito  – Tsukito is a dandere (yea who ever uses that term these days) and most of the time he seems emotionless and quiet. He’s the Japanese god of the moon and I guess it has something to do with that moon festival where they always draw rabbits jumping across it (hence 月 and 兎 though he’s written with 人. I dunno I fail with Japanese mythologies.) He also has a tendency to do stuff robotically which seems like nothing to him, but is a big deal to others.  When they all go watch the moon and eat mochi, they accidentally knock over some plates and while picking them up, Tsukiko cuts himself. Yui tells him to stop but he says he doesn’t care that he hurts himself but he doesn’t want to ruin the atmosphere of the event. After arguing with Yui, Loki steps in as a wingman, slaps 2 rings on both Yui and Tsukito and announces that if they’re more than 100 meters apart, they will be zapped by an electric shock. The only way to take off the rings is for them to mutually fall in love LOL XD Loki you cutie pie ♡.  Unfortunately Tsukito doesn’t understand what being lovers means! Loki tells him that he can start by physical contact like kissing! Tsukito of course is gullible and goes along with it and immediately jumps to kiss Yui xDDD Yui’s like wtf (/▽*＼)～♪ ｲﾔｧﾝ She complains she doesn’t want her first kiss in front of everyone but he’s like pucker up guurl and kisses her lmao.  Unfortunately it’s not very effective and says that it does nothing for him so Yui’s like Σ（ﾟдﾟlll） and runs off upset. The following day she has to end up moving rooms to be closer to Tsukito so that neither of them get zapped.Time passes but sadly there seems to be no progress.  For the summer event Yui suggests they do a natsumatsuri.  Eventually Tsukito realize that there’s more than just “completing his tasks” and that emotions aren’t such a bad thing after all. He even gets excited to work on the summer festival with the student council. After they finish the festival prep, he’s so excited and happy that he almost confesses that he loves Yui…until he falls asleep on her shoulder mid sentence ((((((((((ﾉ∀`)･ﾟ･｡ ｱﾋｬﾋｬﾋｬﾋｬ

So then Takeru and Tsukito’s oldest brother Amaterasu shows up and holy shit I thought it was really a woman but it’s a MAN BABY LOL. Hell even in the actual Mythology Amaterasu is a woman so lol Broccoli of course. So the deal with the brothers (according to Broccoli btw) is Takeru got all pissed off and wanted to blow up the world but that’s when Tsukito was like calm down bro I got your back.  After that Takeru realizes he gotta care about his family and all and stop raging. Akira (Amaterasu’s name in Zeus’ playhouse) asks why Tsukito suddenly cares about “family” when he’s been cold and ignorant towards them this whole time. Takeru gets pissed because he sees Tsukito as his brother no matter what Akira says.  Tsukito says he’ll do his best alone to try and graduate and Akira tells Takeru not to go after him cause he’s not their “brother”. Takeru’s like fuck u dude you’re the only failure as a brother!  Oh noes brother drama!  Tsukio then admits that he’s not really Takeru and Akira’s brother and he was brought near them right before birth but he’s apparently some random god (※This is all Broccoli Fanfiction btw because in fact all 3 were born from Izanagi’s body parts.) He then tells Takeru that that time when he gave him a hand it wasn’t because he was saving him…he just wanted to pick up the tsukaima he had dropped. Takeru is so heartbroken because oh noes his oniisan never really loved him!  He turns into his god form and starts flipping his shit everywhere. Destiny Route:  Yui gives Tsukito a big ol’ hug and tells him he doesn’t need to be a sad panda all on his own. End 1: Tsukito tells Yui that his tsukaima Usamaro’s name was given to him by Takeru and that’s like the one thing they share. He recalls how he and Takeru spent a lot of time together and he’d always talk about family.  He says that the reason he’s changed is all thanks to Takeru….even though most of the hard work was done by Yui wtf e_e?!  Just then he turns into his godly form and the ring that Loki put on him is destroyed. He then decides to look for Takeru who’s raging about killing and destroying everything. Tsukito apologizes to Takeru and says he shouldn’t have said such awful things.  He asks him to be brothers once more and Takeru starts crying and says he’ll be glad to be his otoutokun again.

So then Akira shows up and asks not to be left out like a sore loser so Tsukito’s like ok u can be my oniichan :lol:.  With this, Tsukito’s restraint is broken and he is approved to graduate god school. Meanwhile Yui was MIA this entire scene :lol:. And so at graduation Takeru makes his brothers some necklaces as proof of their brotherhood. And so after Yui reappears from being invisible, she says goodbye to Takeru as they return to their separate worlds. End 2:  Tsukito becomes this gentle genki dude and it creeps the fuck out of everyone lmao xD. He says that he’s tired of being an emotionless log so now he’s going to be passionate instead! He apologizes for everything up to now and asks for Takeru and Akira to accept him as their brother. Takeru tells Tsukito he doesn’t have to be all genki and stuff and he likes his older bro when he’s all cool and mysterious. Tsukito’s like YAY I’M SO HAPPY and says he’s acting this way so he can be kinda like his brothers :lol:. Love Route: Yui tells Tsukito that she will be his family and he immediately asks her to marry him. She says they can’t do that until they’re both mutually in love :lol:. Tsukito decides to take things up 1 step and uses a love manual to take Yui on dates and tell her all sorts of poetic phrases under her window xDDD. (๑￫ܫ￩๑) They even kiss one more time and confirm that kissing now makes them blush  and get all embarrassed unlike before x3.  He eventually tells her he loves her and Yui starts to wonder if it’s in the manual. However for new years, everyone gets together and after the clock strikes 12 they all fall asleep except Tsukito & Yui. The 2 of them go outside near the ocean where Tsukito wanted to watch the sunrise but really he just wanted to tell Yui he loves her. He says these poetic words that he “borrowed” from Apollon but Yui says she wants to hear it in his dorky way. He then just tells her he loves her, gives her a ring and asks her to marry him. Yui says she doesn’t know if a human and a god can be married but says I do! And so just then the rings Loki put on them fall off and instead Yui now has an engagement ring. When they return back to the dorms, all the guys shit bricks at this news xD. End 1:  Yui chooses to return to her world and Tsukito tells her he’ll be watching over her from the moon. She returns back and has no memories of her time in Zeus’ dollhouse. As template would have it, Tsukito shows up in front of her and upon seeing him she starts crying not knowing why! He says that he’ll always love her and gives her a ring and Yui feels like its DESTINEEEE and tells him “welcome back” :lol:. End 2: Yui tells Tsukito she’s coming with him to his world, and he’s like yay we can be a real family now!  And then they make out in the moonlight or something…uhm yea that was a bit underwhelming. The ┌(┌ ^o^)┐ﾎﾓｵ ends were more interesting than this sigh…

Takeru – I was really looking forward to Takeru’s route because of dem tsundere vibes and the kendo training CG made me explode in moe BUT…..Broccoli’s quality writing pretty much ruined everything when the entire route became about his PAAAAIN to be accepted by other gods etc. Also what the fuck dude he never even gets a real kiss CG yet the 2 Egyptian douchebags who barely have routes get one. PRIORITIES MAN.   He’s like a huge brocon for Tsukito and aside from his own route he constantly calls Yui “weed” (because the kanji in her last name could also be interpreted that way) and always tells her to get away from his beloved oniichan. Fortunately in his own route, he has no choice cause I got him cornered like a 壁ドン！ Also Zeus zaps his ass with lightning for refusing to participate in god school. Yui then joins the kendo club together with him,though they are like the only members. They end up running in the mornings together to train as well as continuing to practice Kendo together.. Eventually Takeru deres it up and becomes a sweetheart to Yui to the point that even she is shocked xDDD He even finally agrees to study about humans with her. So then they go on their school training trip for the kendo club, though it’s just Yui, Tsukito and Takeru. Turns out, Tsukito is writing a youthful romance novel and he’s modeled the 2 protagonists after Yui and Takeru ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ァﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ ＼ / ＼/ ＼ .  That night, before they go to bed they realize they only brought 1 Futon. Takeru says he doesn’t need one but Yui feels bad so they decide to share it somehow. After they fall asleep though Takeru rolls over and spoons Yui from behind babbling how she’s warm and he’ll protect her and to always be with him |萌|･´∀`･)ﾊｧﾊｧ 萌えぇぇ↑ ！！！At one point Yui nearly falls off a cliff while they’re hiking and after Takeru saves her during the trip by using his god form, Zeus calls him again and gets pissed. He then tells Takeru that he’s closing the kendo club.  Like wow yea Zeus you never gave a fuck when Loki or Balder turned into their god forms but when Takeru does it RRAAGE.

Yui wants to get him back in school no matter what but she can’t do it if Takeru has no motivation to return back on his own. She tells him how without him school life is extremely boring for her, and so they exchange seashells down by the seashore while blushing like idiots. ﾟ+.(◕ ω◕ฺ )ﾟ+. Destiny Route:  Takeru tells Yui his sob story that he once killed some goddess by accident and ever since then he was labeled as this violent god. People would shun him and that’s why Zeus always rages about him and his powers. Yui prays on her sword for Takeru to be accepted and not misunderstood but then her sword TURNS INTO A GIANT MULTI HEADED HYDRA. ＼( ^o^)／  And not only that but it’s so freaking amazingly powerful that not even Zeus can zap it with his lightning bolts! When the suggestion of leaving Zeus’ instance comes up he says that if they try and get out too quick they’ll be blown into some unknown dimension. Well turns out this hydra thing is the Yamata no Orochi and it only feasts on gods so lol Yui is totally safe but everyone else is screwed. Yui blames herself that her prayer created this monster but Thoth and Takeru say it’s not her fault and the only thing to do is to defeat it. Of course as per Japanese mythology, the one to defeat is none other than Susanoo aka Takeru! End 1:  Yui prays for the victory and her prayers are answered. Takeru and Tsukito defeat the Orochi and it turns back into Yui’s sword.  Takeru says he’s going to try and convince his haters that he ain’t a bad guy and that he just saved a bunch of peeps by killing the hydra. As proof he asks for Yui to give him that sword. End 2: Yui does nothing except tell them to do their best.  Due to this, Tsukito tells Takeru that he’ll sacrifice himself so that Takeru won’t leave Yui behind. Takeru promises not to cry but after Tsukito dies, he cries a river anyway.

Love Route: Zeus says to prove himself, Takeru has to climb a mountain in his human form without using any god skills for help.  (This is like dejavu of Otoya’s route from UtaPri lol..) The two of them start the hike up but Takeru gets annoyed and rage quits. Yui tries to push him forward to keep going but he calls her a dumbass for believing in a failure like him.  Yui ignores him and keeps going but s he trips from the exhaustion and gets scratches all over. Takeru finds her and offers to carry her on his back and says he’ll keep going because she believes in him.  They finally make it to the top where Zeus is waiting for them but he says that they’re too late.  Takeru blames himself for rage quitting earlier, and begs Zeus to forgive him.  Zeus is like alright you crazy kids, and leaves while Yui jumps on Takeru and hugs him. The next day Takeru returns to class as usual and Tsukito inquires about his relationship with Yui cause he can’t finish his romance novel. The two of them go on the roof alone together where Takeru confesses that he loves Yui and starts crying because they have to part after they graduate ;u;. End 1: Yui chooses to return to her world and Takeru lets her cry on his shoulder before graduation. After graduation before returning to their worlds, they say goodbye while crying and telling each other their feelings. And welp as template would have it here too, Takeru magically shows up in front of Yui as usual and she has this FEELING SHE KNOWS HIM SOMEHOW etc the end. End 2: Yui decides to go with Takeru to his world and he’s like ε=＼＿○ﾉ ｲﾔｯﾎｰｩ！ And so they live by the sea and train kendo together.  When Takeru notices a cut on her face he licks the blood off her cheek (*´ω｀*). Yui then becomes a doS and forces Takeru to constantly tell her how much he loves her.  Ehh, I dunno, between all the weird Naruto flashbacks and utapri copypasta, and the fact that the Love Ends were copypasta from other routes….and the general lack of moe tsundere moments made this route pretty disappointing for me. Its like the peak was the kendo training trip, and after that, meh.

Anubis – I had trouble figuring out how the hell to even get into this guy’s route but when I finally did I was greeted with:

No seriously what the fuck. Every other guy in the game gets his translation patch, but poor Kaji Yuki is forced to make animal noises halfway through his route until the heroine’s “heart is close enough” that she can understand his banter. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Literally the route felt like you were attempting to woo and then date your dog.

So yea the whole route circulates around this dog that Anubis was gonna kill but Yui stopped him saying they can treat it and save it. Anubis is like noo I should take its soul so it doesn’t suffer! But Yui convinces him to save the dog and while it seems like the dog is getting better, one day it just…..drops dead. Anubis is fucking pissed and calls Yui a liar and says he hates her because the dog was actually suffering the whole time.  Eventually he calms down and sends Car’s (the stupid name they gave to the dog) soul into the afterlife so he can be reborn.  All the other guys decide to hold a little funeral for the doggy. Afterwards Anubis cries while Yui hugs him. After this, Anubis starts coming to class properly with everyone else. So then uh I guess the heroine starts to see him as  a love interest, meanwhile I see him like you’d see your pet dog. Needless to say I was (　´_ゝ`) the rest of the route lol.  She finds him in the forest chasing butterflies and chases him around the mini garden.  He then gives her an apple that he says makes wishes come true and tells her “I love you” in Japanese rather than “through his heart”. He said he’s been practicing his Japanese so he could say it to her.  Destiny End: Yui says she gotta go back home and Anubis throws a tantrum at Thoth. But yea shit sucks, and so they say goodbyes after graduation and Anubis tells her “Suki” in Japanese before leaving.  AND JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER RETURN END IN THIS GAME, HE MAGICALLY SHOWS UP IN FRONT OF HER IN HER WORLD YAYYY THE END. Love End: Yui says she’s also in love with Anubis and wants to be together forever~~. He’s so happy that his limiter breaks and his powers come back. He then grabs Yui and flies around all like wheeee until Thoth tells him to get his ass back down. And just then Thoth shows up that Yui’s now become a god because of that magic apple she ate with Anubis ヽ(。_゜)ノ.  And so they smooch in the sunset or something and I”m sitting here pissed off cause Takeru didn’t get a single kiss CG 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸. Oh and when you clear one of his endings you get a “translation patch” so you can actually hear the first half of his route in Japanese. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any fucks to give at this point.

Thoth – Man if you thought Anubis’ route was lame, this was even worse and the fact that you are forced to do this guy last leaves the shittiest impression on you once you finish the game.  One of my broadcast viewers pointed out that according to Egyptian mythology, The parents of Thoth are said to be the male homosexual pair or “two combatants” Horus and Seth. So the joke is, the only reason Broccoli put him in this game is because of the canon ┌(┌ ^o^)┐ﾎﾓｵ xDD So yea in Thoth’s route he tells Yui to study by herself and figure out how to graduate on her own.  She then starts to learn about the various mythologies greek, norse, egyptian, japanese etc.  He lives in the library cause he’s too lazy to go back to it to get books since he reads at the speed of light and always needs more. So then for no reason at all Thoth decides to hit on Yui and starts throwing himself on her. He pins her against the bookshelf cause kyah thats so hot. He then tells her he wants to know what TWUE WUV is like and clearly the best way to do this is to force himself on her ヽ(。_゜)ノ　He then kisses her but Yui pushes him away and then runs off cause wth dude. The next time she shows up at the library to study he puts his arm around her like some kimoi gge and starts ichaichaing with her. So then one day Zeus says “ok school time’s over lol everyone go home.”  When Yui talks to Thoth about this and is like wtf man he’s like yo humanity’s gonna be destroyed, guurl whatcha gonna do???  Destiny End: If you accept humanity’s demise, Thoth is like why aren’t you begging for your life and trying to save yourself, aren’t all humans selfish!? And so because Yui is such a selfless person, it causes the sand clock to magically flip over and the world is saved!!! ヽ(。_゜)ノ And so Zeus  is like okay well back to school gaiz!!! Rriighhht..  Love End:  If you decide you want to stop the end of the world it sheds some light on to Thoth and he’s like OH RIGHT the world SHOULDN’T END AFTER ALL! ヽ(。_゜)ノ And that perhaps it’s the gods who are more selfish than humans are!!111one But then suddenly he turns into his god form and says that everything’s headed towards destruction oookay. Yui’s like no birdman, u don’t destroy za warudo and she like breaks through his world destruction barrier. (Aka this is like a copy pasta of Apollon’s route.) And so being zapped too much I guess Yui passes out while babbling that she loves him or something. After she wakes up, she finds herself back at home with her family on Earth.  Uh..yea….nice love …e..nd. I’m sorry I just couldn’t bring myself to give a fart about this game after Kaji Yuki Kai Barabara’ed my brains out. Also this was totally that template do-S Morikawa Toshiyuki character that I fuggin hate. I like him when he’s cast as a dorky guy (like in Hyakki & Dot Kare) so I was rolling my eyes before the route even started 🙄

Well fortunately I was warned about this game being kinda bad….and well it was bad. I don’t know if I’d say it’s total shit cause the art and music were nice and I did have a few きゅん(ﾉ´∀｀*) moments but overall……..did it really take you a whole year to come with this? It’s like the game almost feels..unfinished? The time between the sports festival events and the ending just feels rushed and shoved in. Just when things start getting cute with the guy, suddenly THE END IS NEAR!  And of course we can’t forget the ホモォ┌（┌ ^o^）┐

Since it was the same writer as UtaPri Debut, the Destiny Ends were destined to get you some delicious BROMANCE. The best part of course is when the heroine would just…..vanish. Like literally I’d be sitting there wondering if she was supposed to be in a scene or if we were just seeing it from some ominous POV of the guys having fun with each other.  I guess unlike Debut though, I wasn’t as mad because I sat there thinking like “well she’s just a puny human girl and if they have no interest in her I guess that’s ….legit?”  The other thing that was weird is how some CGs really felt like I..saw them somewhere else! See below (Sorry if this is a minor CG spoiler!):

More complaints are that they never said the heroine’s first name but they said her last name. So it would be like “Hey there Kusanagi _______”. Or something like “Hey ______, I thought I told you to come here!” Why not just call her name out fully? I don’t understand. A lot of the endings were basically copy & pastes of each other. The worst part is, while the love endings were copy pasta, the homo ends were actually unique! You could clearly tell where the effort was put into! The only 3 characters whose endings were unique were Hades, Loki and Thoth. Everyone else was pretty much an identical template and after the first 2-3 guys I just couldn’t take the love ends seriously!  The one other thing in this game was the mini garden omake in the extras. You could receive furniture/houses for completing those god awful quizzes during the routes. The thing is, even after getting most of the items, I could only figure out how to unlock 1 event from each guy. I had no idea how to unlock more and I wasn’t about to redo all the routes in “hard mode” for the quizzes just to get more crap blah. It’s cute at first but even the reward omakes from assembling the pieces are ホモォ┌（┌ ^o^）┐ so I didn’t even care enough to unlock them anyway….

Overall for a game with so much hype and the fact that they were promoting it for over a year and this is the end result….just boggles my mind. And you know what’s the cherry on top of this disaster? THIS SHIT BE GETTING AN ANIME IN 2014 LOLOLOL.  Though honestly I’m not surprised. With all the canon homo they have to work with in this game, they can easily poop out a ホモォ┌（┌ ^o^）┐ anime like UtaPri without even having to insert original BL shipping. It’s already in the game! This saddens me cause I love Loki, hell I’d even settle for an OT3 with Loki Balder and Yui but of course the anime is gonna be pushing Loki x Balder hur durr. ＿|￣|○ il||li  I think it’s best to stay away from Broccoli’s original games at this point as it seems like they are only catering to one kind of audience now…and I’m not part of it.

It woulda been better if the game was like this: