Otome Game Review: Cupid Parasite

Cupid is a goddess in the god world Dii Consentes whose job is to shoot arrows at people whose colors “match up well” to make them fall in love. Unfortunately all the people she’s shot so far have fallen in love but almost immediately broken up! Her father calls her a useless faildaughter, so her aunt Minerva teaches her about smartphones and social media to try to get her caught up with the times. Cupid is then surprised to find a company called Cupid Corporation and ends up getting a job there while keeping her true identity a secret. She also adopts the name Lynette Mirror, based on the heroine from her favorite movie. With time, becomes the best wedding planner & matchmaker to show her father that she is the best Cupid there ever was. She gets a tough assignment to get 5 of the most “hard to match” candidates, known as Parasite5, but she accepts in hopes of a promotion at her job. Warning, I apparently wrote a really long summary of every route so text walls (and spoilers of course) ahead lol.

Gill Lovecraft – Gill ends up becoming her room mate during college, when she first comes down to earth because Minerva wrote her name as “Mike” on the application so he’s shocked to find out his room mate is a woman and not a man. Eventually becacuse of certain events, Gill moved out leaving her with only her female room mate Claris. She doesn’t see him for a while until turns out he’s one of the Parasite 5. Gill comes from Baltimore and moved to Los York, however after living with Cupid for a bit he fell in love with her…and has not been able to move on from his 2 year old crush so that’s why he has not had a girlfriend till now. Any attempts made at getting him a girlfriend all fail because he turns every conversation into his past experiences with Cupid and completely ruins any future prospects lol. Unfortunately for him, Cupid thinks that his past crush wasn’t her, but her current room mate Claris instead. 😂 A lot of the characters in game complain that he does “too much” for the girl, by cooking and cleaning etc etc…and I’m sitting here like “I fail to see the problem here??? Is this a culture thing where Japanese girls wanna do stuff for their boyfriend and never the other way around??” 😂😂 So after the whole thing with the share house and the others all quitting being marriage candidates, Gill decides to stop looking for other women…and confess his feelings to Cupid. Unfortunately for him Cupid still thinks he’s had a crush on her friend Claris, rather than her since in her mind she ships others, not herself! He picked his job to be a freelance journalist so he’d have more time to spend with his bae..but ended up being single. He’s really interested in cars and wanted to write in a magazine about them, but put that on hold because of his endless crush. He developed the crush because when Cupid first came to earth she had no clue about anything (she thought that his manties were a lunch mat wtf 😭😂).

Before starting college Gill babysat her and taught her things like how to wash dishes or use the washing machine lol. And of course as they spend time together like this Gill fell head over heels for her but he didn’t want t make things awkward so he kept his feelings inside. After Claris moved in with them, he got so lonely that Cupid now had a female friend to spend all her time with, that he began having erotic dreams about banging Cupid every night 😂😭. Eventually Claris drills into Cupid’s head that the one who Gill has loved for 2 year is her which Cupid is completely shocked at. The two even make a bet on who he really likes, and the loser has to do the house chores for a month. 😏 Finally she makes plans to discusRs things with him, and he plans to confess but ends up coming late because of being stuck with an annoying customer at the office. When he sees her, he hugs her and Cupid remembers when they went to the prom (in college!?) back then. He finally grew a pair and asked her to go with him and since Cupid wanted to see how other humans fall in love and become couples, she agreed to go. While at the prom he realized how hopelessly in love he was with her, but instead of being direct and saying he loves her, he was like “I’ll always protect you!!”FAIL LMAO😭😂 He had thought that because she said thank you, it means she accepted his feelings and he acted like they were a couple. However once he realized it was all still one sided, he got depressed and moved out of their apartment. And then after hugging her in the present, he says I’m sorry and then runs away. Since it’s now been 6 years, Cupid realizes that the one Gill has loved all this time has been her and she’s been the reason he became a Heartbreak Parasite. Claris tells her that it was prolly his ero-dreams that made him first realize he has feelings for Cupid, which somehow only surprises Cupid rather than grossing her out tbh I’m laughing my ass off at their whole conversation. 🤣🤣🤣

So suddenly then Gill gets kicked out of his apartment because of some bad smells (??) and has trouble finding another one due to him not having a “stable” income from being a freelancer. Feeling sorry for him, Claris and Cupid let him freeload for a bit until he finds a new place and he offers to do chores for them for letting him stay. Just then a few days later, Gill’s brother Gale suddenly shows up asking to stay for a bit because he’s sick of being a car maker VP and says he hates cars. It’s then revealed that Gill’s father is the owner of a luxury car business, with Gale being the VP. Gill admits he’s basically a rich boy but he didn’t want to be part of it, got in a fight with his dad, and ran away from home to pursue his own life lol. Gale admits he always hated cars and only pretended to like them to show off for his girlfriend at the time. 🤣 He tried to make himself like cars, or else his gf wouldn’t marry him, but in the end he hated them and refused to learn anything about them. Gale then asks Gill to teach him about the “greatness” of cars or else he can’t marry his lover, who also loves cars lol. Apparently Gill loved cars so much he made a car by himself out of spare parts LOL. He also then confesses the reason he ran away from home is because he didn’t want to become like his father, who would always be working while his mother would be at home all sad and lonely. He also didn’t want to be thrown into an arranged marriage like Gale and decided to  run away from home. So now you got 1 brother who didn’t wanna tell dad his feelings cause it was embarrassing, and another one who didn’t want to tell dad his feelings cause he’d lose his fiance lol. \(^o^)/ Cupid tells Gale he should tell his fiance his true feelings instead of hiding it so Gale decides to hop back on a plane to Baltimore. After he leaves, it turns out that it’s not that Cupid had said “she wants a lover to always be by her side” but it was Claris, using a voice changer app lmao. 😭😔🤣 So because of that Gill decided to become a freelance editor, but he told Cupid not to blame herself cause it was just his own misunderstanding. Cupid says her true ideal is someone who chases her dreams, which she said using Claris’ voice and Gill thought Claris had said that. Hearing that Gill says that he will follow his dream to get into the Car Craft Road magazine job like he always wanted. Cupid even offers to help Gill with chores so he can focus on his new job, but because of that Gill is often out of the apartment and she barely ever sees him anymore. Because of this Cupid realizes how much she misses him, and how lonely it is without him always being there. While waiting for him to come home one night, she falls asleep and after having an old dream about walking him on him showering and asking him to shower from when she first came to earth….she wakes up to find him carrying her to her bedroom.

Mars Daddy’s face is priceless

She pretends to be sleeping but hears him tell her  I love you before kissing her forehead and leaving her room. Hearing this Cupid starts crying in bed until she’s awakened by the stank of blue cheese that Gill is eating lol. He tells her that the blue cheese rotting was the reason his apartment building got vacated and tells her that soon he’ll be going back. Upon hearing this Cupid can’t hold her feelings back anymore so she confesses straight out that she’s fallen in love with him. Gill finally stops holding back and grabs and kisses her….and then tells her that he’s not a virgin cause every guy who graduates from Baltimore high school apparently gets laid according to Otomate. 😭😂😂😂 Omg I thought he was a pure virgin boy LOLOL. Anyway after they bang she wakes up to a notification on this phone that seems to show that he’s been writing tabloid rumor articles about Cupid corporation and calling her a con artist. Not only that but the arrow on her cupid necklace has fallen off prolly cause she lost her virginity to a human. After she runs outside she runs into her father’s rooster beast telling her to return to the god world immediately. Turns out that it was a rival corporation that wrote that article, and Gill was asked to write a counter article but obviously Cupid completely misunderstood the whole thing thinking that Gill was the one writing the article about her. When she returns to god world, Mars tells her to shoot some break up arrows to break up shitty couples stuck in bad relationships like domestic violence, and prostitution. Angry about Gill she agrees and shoots them all over, while Gill is back on earth frantically looking for her until he passes out from not eating all day. Eventually Claris and Alan find him and take him to Alan’s store until he wakes up lol. For some reason though, Claris reveals to Gill that Lynette’s true identity is Cupid, and that she really is a goddess.  Gill believes her immediately cause to him Cupid is his majitenshi and when he first met her she had no clue about basic human skills lol. Claris tells him that Cupid’s back in the god world, and that the arrow she left behind can lead him there. He then goes back to his family house in Baltimore, and goes to his workshop to build a literal jet for himself to see his bae 😂😂😂 So after Gill builds his jet to go see her, Cupid finds a request to break up Gale and his fiance cause they still haven’t talked things out. Cupid refuses to do this anymore and Mars threatens to put her into confinement for 50 year…which is nothing for gods, but is an entire lifetime for a human. Cupid then yells that she won’t go and just then Gill bursts through the golden gates of heaven telling Cupid he’s come to see her. 😂

Mars is of course furious that some human boy put some IDEAS into his daughter’s head and tries to stop him. Gill then explains about the rival corporation that wrote the bs article, and tells Mars that he’s always only ever had eyes for Cupid and would never cheat on her as Mars claimed. Just when Cupid and Gill make up and she’s ready to go home with him, Mars is like HELL NAW. Mars is like “can you love her knowing she’s Cupid??” and Gill’s response is “look at my ANGEL FOLDER” and shows them a massive folder of pics he took of Cupid all these years 🤣🤣🤣🤣. He then basically confesses his stalking love and the dad is horrified LMFAOhdgksjg 😭😭🤣🤣 while Cupid is like 😍😍😍. So then al of a sudden Mars is like I WONT GIVE YOU MY DAUGHTER AND SO GIL IS LIKE OK I FIGHT YOU  THEN and then he freaking TURNS HIS CAR THAT HE BUILT IN HIS GARAGE IN BALTIMORE INTO A GOD DAMN TRANSFORMERS ROBOT. HELP I’M DYING WTF IS THIS GAME. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 And while all of this is happening no other gods like step in or do anything lmao. Obviously Gill’s car robot can’t beat Mars, and he starts getting sick from being in the god world too long. Mars eventually gives in and cries while agreeing to let Gill have his daughteroo and Venus of course is totally fine with this lol. Also Cupid briefly reveals that Mars was her step-father and not birth father (which is odd since in actual mythology he was her father??). And so Cupid and Gill return to Los York and Gill finds out Cupid never did read his love letter that he stuffed into her textbook because who would think to find a love letter like that??😂 Anyway she asks to read his love letters and is so happy she starts crying. She agrees to let him put his love letters to her into the magazine that he works for like his boss suggested. Claris appears briefly outside saying her job here is done and vanishes tuxedo mask style lol. Meanwhile back at Cupid Corp, nobody knows who Claris is except Cupid. In fact all the girls completely forgot about her, but all the dudes are like “I think I banged her in my dream?”😕😂

Together Forever It’s Almost Scary End: Cupid finds out that Gill used the energy from her arrow to come see her in Dii Consentes and now he can’t remove it cause it’s like merged with his car and became its own persona. 😂  Just then they hear news that Gale decided to quit his job as the VP of the car business, and he gets a phone call from his father to see him right away. They go to have dinner with Gill’s parents and turns out Gale went and eloped with his fiance probably after telling her that he hates cars lol. Apparently he’s just working running a burger joint because that was his childhood dream all along and he told his dad he hated cars too lol. Dad of course is raging that they must continue the family business and Gill yells back that their father only thought about the company and not about his family or his children. Thanks to Cupid, Gill admits that he really does love cars, and he just didn’t want to be suffocated by his father’s company. Turns out the dad loved cars too, and got excited hearing that Gill worked for his favorite car magazine.  The mom then is like “pls I’m lonely dad I want some attention too” HAHAH. She says dad pays too much attention to his job and she has put up with a lot and the dad thought that she only married him because it was an arranged marriage..and that she didn’t really love him. Anyway after talking things out with his dad, Gill decides to quit the magazine job and take over the family car business after all since like his dad, he too loves cars.  After this he gets really busy moving the company from Baltimore to Los York after becoming the new president. They go on a date to the amusement park, and he brings her on the ferris wheel and proposes to her. Cupid also admits that she is no longer Cupid, but a human named Lynette Mirror because she has fallen in love with a human. In the epilogue, Gill’s love letter book has been nominated for Nobel Prize and sold millions of copies lol. Not only that but because of the cupid’s arrow being in their car, it’s affected all the other cars, and now anyone who rides Lovecraft company cars, automatically falls in love LOL. 😂

So because of that no new cupid can be born cause now cupid is…a car. 😂😂😂 Mars says it’s ok because now instead of arrows people just fall in love in cars lol. And so Lynette and Gill get married at Cupid Corporation’s venue. Goodbye Los York End: After the rumors about Cupid Corp spread, the company goes out of business and is bought out by another company. Shelby gets incredibly depressed that he’s lost his business and Cupid returns to being her godly self up in Dii Consentes shooting her arrows as before. Another Happy End: Cupid becomes spoiled by Gill and doesn’t even feel like going to work anymore and ends up quitting her job and becoming a lazy bum at home. One day Claris bursts into their apartment and is like BITCH WTF ARE YOU DOING LOL and yells at Cupid for becoming fat and lazy lol. But Cupid doesn’t care and decides this is the life for her lol. Another Happy End 2: They meet up with Gale who tells them his girlfriend, now wife, apparently hated cars too and only studied about them to try to get along better with him. Instead she wanted to draw and after they talked things out and started the burger joint, she began drawing promo posters for it. Gill continues his job at the car magazine and puts out his love letter book which becomes a big hit. After this he becomes a novelist  and wants to write the story about Cupid coming to earth and falling in love with a human. I weirdly liked this ending more than the true end, somehow him becoming a novelist and still having time to spend with Lynette was cuter than becoming some stressed out shacho. Seminar Parasite End: Cupid is stuck on endless group dates with all the guys cause they become friends with each other and would rather hang out with her and try stuff they learned at seminars only with her and not others. 🤣 365 Love Letters End: Because she’s lost her cupid’s arrow, Cupid is locked up as a punishment for 100 years. While she’s locked up, Minerva sneaks in a laptop so she can watch a movie popular in the human world. Turn out it’s a movie based on Gill’s book of love letters to her. 😭 Feeling bad that he’s been suffering all this time, she uses the love dispel arrow to make Gill forget about her.

Keisaiin F. Ryuki – Ryuki has his own fashion brand “RYUKI” because his family runs a famous fashion brand called KEISAI:IN. His sister enrolled him in the Cupid Corp in hopes that by finding romance, it would improve his ideas and creativity in fashion design. The problem is his looks are way too high of a standard for most people, he’s hard core about skin care and often just scares away potential ladies by spraying an moisture mist in their faces. 😂  BUT YEA SOMEHOW I ENDED UP GETTING HIM WHEN I TOOK THE QUIZ BASED ON MY OWN ANSWERS LMAOOO. I must have a tsundere flag on at all times I guess. 😏 He’s also the youngest candidate being only 19 years old. He’s so critical of everything that when they have date week, and she shows up all he does is complain about her makeup, and her clothes lol. He then takes her to a beauty spa and despite them asking him not to enter cause it’s a woman’s spa he’s like whatever, idgaf if she’s nekkid, I’m going in to make sure she gets a proper massage done. 😂 He gets angry at the spa worker, and kicks her out of the way and does the massage himself rofl. He buys her tons of makeup and clothes and pays for all of it because he thinks that’s what men must do on a date. ( ◜‿◝ ) Apparently he sees “colors” in people and when someone’s a really bad color/low quality he just sees them as a dark nasty blob of smoke lol. Cupid’s goal is to get him to see beyond the surface since it would open up more marriage prospects for him. Unfortunately he’s also stuck under pressure to impress his grandmother who runs Keisai:IN brand and like with all asian parents, nothing he does is ever good enough for her. Not even having his own popular fashion design brand! 😔 When Cupid comes over his place to try on some of his new designs for ladies, she finds out he has a dog named Kagura, who he feels is his most trusted family member. He’s able to get a true opinion on the fit of his outfits from Cupid because she doesn’t treat him on a pedestal just because he’s a Keisain. He also reveals that he’s half Japanese and half American.

As they discuss work and love he can’t seem to understand how someone can focus on their work as a designer, but also focus on romance especially when you are a designer…..you care about appearances, so he can’t understand how you can date someone who doesn’t go out of their way on their appearance. He feels like love is a waste of time to him but because he idolizes his older sister, he wants to understand why she threw him into this marriage partner thing. It also turns out his mom and sister refused to take over the family business, so now the pressure is on him to take over…but granny isn’t satisfied with any of his work. When he releases his clothes at his store a few days later, they’re a big hit to the point that he asks Cupid to work the register for a bit in exchange for giving her one of his new outfits for free. 🤣 Having her wear the outfit also helped “model” the clothes to attract all the female customers. As a thanks in addition to giving her the outfit, he also invites her over his place for dinner and it;s her first time having Japanese food,wao time to learn to use chopsticks! 😭😂 As he tries to teach her to use them, they get a little close and both start to see each other as more than just bridal advisor and client… (灬º‿º灬)♡ Gotta say I kinda winced at her being like this Natto is good! Most foreigners I hate it…including myself 😭😂. (To be fair even Ryuki was surprised and said she’s the first person in America he’s seen to eat it xDD). Just as Cupid’s about to leave, her furry friend Chii gets in a fight with his dog Kagura and creates a massive thunderstorm that takes out the power in his house. For some reason Ryuki has a massive fear of thunder and gets terrified, but pretends he’s fine…even though she can see right through it lol. Since the rain is strong and the trains stopped running, Cupid decides to spend the night at his house. She lights up an aroma candle that she bought for him as a present to celebrate his new clothing line release. This adds some light to the room and helps him calm down. They pull out more aroma candles and add some more mood lighting to the room while they huddle under a blanket together. 😏

She finds an old doodle he did as a child of a wedding dress and he admits that when he was younger he wanted to design dresses….but his family told him that drawing women’s things was pointless because Keisain was a men’s only brand. When his granny trained him and wouldn’t approve of his designs, at age 18 he went to study abroad and create his own brand. He couldn’t use his family name as help and had to start from scratch, but despite becoming fairly popular in Los York, his granny still would not approve of him. That’s why his sister told him to go marriage hunting, but despite his attempts he still can’t figure out what his designs are “lacking”. He also admits that designing ladies clothes felt fun and refreshing for him because that’s what he wanted to do from the start. Meanwhile, in another part of this route, Cupid’s dad Mars gets into a fight with her mom Venus, and the mom runs off to earth to play around with other men under the disguise and name of Katherine Spade. 😂😂😂 Additionally Cupid is able to get together Shelby’s assistant Owen with one of her clients Melanie, a girl who also turned her looks and life around thanks to Ryuki’s fashion advice. Cupid and Ryuki catch the two on a date at the movie theater together, each of them wearing the designs that Ryuki had put out. (I honestly wish Melanie had a sprite because her and Owen were so cute together ( ◜‿◝ )♡.  She briefly appeared on the side of one of the CGs so she at least had a character design.) Anyway for some reason they end up following them throughout their entire date and just a they’re about to leave them alone, they catch them kissing and Ryuki gets so embarrassed lmaooo. 😏😏😂😂 After they part ways he can’t stop thinking about her and admits it was the first time he saw anyone kissing. Meanwhile even though Cupid saw people kissing a million times in her life, for some reason this time it felt embarrassing for her. After talking to Claris she wonders if she’s missing out because while she’s seen it plenty, she’s never kissed anyone herself. After this, things get awkward around them because anytime he sees her, he gets embarrassed and can’t even look her in the eyes. He can’t figure out why suddenly Cupid looks cute to him, even though he knows she hasn’t changed her clothes or makeup. He even went to a doctor to see if something was wrong with him but obviously there’s no prescription for love. (´ε` )

When his sister calls him and he asks for advice but she laughs and tells her lil bro he’s in love, which is a shocking revelation to him. 😏😂 A couple days later, suddenly his dog comes running and drags Cupid by the arm to his house…where she finds Ryuki passed out on the floor in his room. She takes care of him and spends the night again but the next day his fever goes down and he kicks her out bumbling like the embarrassed tsundere that he is. When Melanie notices there’s something between them and asks him directly if he likes her, he rambles that he can’t fall in love or his “designer vision” will be skewed. She tells him to STFU and that it’s completely normal for humans to change their view of someone if they fall in love with them. After she tells him like it is she runs out of his store, and it finally hits him that he really is in love with Cupid. He also realizes his designer vision will not change, and that in fact he’s also now realized what his sister meant when she told him he needs to fall in love. After they do a photo shoot with all the cupid guys, Gil suddenly confesses to Cupid that he’s loved her all this time which comes as a huge shocker to her since she thought he was in love with Claris the whole time. 😂😭 On top of thi, Ryuki overhears everything and after Gil leaves the room, Ryuki comes in and grabs and kisses her. Cupid is like ??? but then while he kissing her he tells her not to pick Gil over him. She’s so shocked about everything that she ends up running out of the house outside to figure out what just happened. Just then, Ryuki gets a message from his grandma that she’s found a fiance for him, and he’s utterly shocked and heartbroken.  Despite this he doesn’t give up, and the next day he comes to her office after work and confesses his love to her asking her to go on a date with him. She agrees and they both go to the amusement park together. (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧* At the end of their date, he asks if she chooses him, to meet his grandmother so he can show that he is not interested in anyone but her. He asks her to make her decision and meet him in front of Cupid Corp on December 1st. But on Dec 1st she’s asked to stand in as a wedding dress model cause the original model doesn’t show up. Ryuki hears about this but misunderstands and runs in saying I object to this wedding!!! before realizing what’s actually going on. 🤣🤣🤣

( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

Once he finds out that she was gonna pick up he goes back into designer mode and starts raging about the wedding dress design. 😂 Instead he then gives her the wedding dress that he designed to wear and the photographers are like awwright baby let’s start showing off the Ryuki wedding dress line with this photo shoot!! Tbh I thought the wedding dress he made for her was kinda hideous lmao, all the pink and blue on it was so ew to me lol. Anyway after the photo shoot they run over still wearing the dress, to meet with his grandma at a hotel. When they get to the hotel restaurant, not only is granny there but so is his older sister. Turns out the woman that his granny wanted him to marry was her mom Venus 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. She admits she joined CC corporation as a client so she could watch her daughter working LOL 😭😂 Ryuki says that even though her mom Venus has a beauty score of 100, being the goddess of beauty, to him, the only one he loves is obviously Cupid. Surprisingly, granny actually compliments his wedding dress design and says he’s finally learned what is important to be a fashion designer. She also reveals the store manager of his store is the son of one of her old friends and that’s why when others quit, he was the only one who stayed. Thanks to him she was able to see Ryuki’s designs and tells him he’s really grown as a designer and she finally approves of him after all these years. She also tells him she wishes he had told her that he likes to design ladies clothes, but other relatives would say that Keisaiin is a man’s brand so he thought that’s what he has to do. Venus then suddenly remembers she misses Mars and goes back to Dii Consentes, and afterwards Ryuki and his sister go to a cafe along with Cupid. They meet a famous actress Ema Winston (prolly Ema Watson?lol) cause his sister does makeup for Shillywood stars (lol Hollywood.) Ema intentionally wore badly fitting clothes to test Ryuki’s color sense and when he immediately tells her the colors she’s wearing don’t fit, she commissions him to design her next red carpet dress.

After the sister and Ema leave, Ryuki and Cupid go back to his place cause he wants to start designing immediately. While he’s designing he finds a news article about his mother, who’s become a famous violinist in Austria, and she’s also wearing the clothes he’s designed to his surprise. He also gets a text from his sister which tells Cupid that Ryuki’s middle name is Finn. He then pulls out an engagement ring, that he designed, and asks her to marry him when he turns 20. Cupid has already settled on the fact that she’s gonna become a human because she’s fallen deep in love with one. Happy Countdown End: Since his birthday is on December 31st, he asks her to celebrate with him instead of a new year’s countdown lol. She makes him some karaage chicken and then he tells her to call him Ryuki since calling him by his last name is weird since she’s gonna have that last name eventually. She brings him a birthday cake with 20 candles in it that she made herself, and then they bang happily ever after. 😘 Melting Like Cotton Candy End: Ryuki chickens out and doesn’t see his grandmother and quits his store and design and becomes a stay at home husbando while Cupid continues her job at CC Corp. Because of this Cupid becomes the dominant one in bed huehuehue. ᕙ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)ᕗ Just a Bal end: Cupid decides to buy a toy ball for Ryuki’s dog Kagura and then reprimands Chii for eating Kagura’s dog food lol. Some time passes and Cupid loses touch with Ryuki, and then later finds out he’s closing his store to travel the world and improve his design skills. Melanie’s date with Owen also doesn’t go well and they no longer contact each other either. Cupid realizes she has to rely on her arrows after all, and returns to Dii Consentes to shoot her arrows at Melanie and Owen. Too Young to Fall in Love End: Cupid reject’s Ryuki’s date invitation and says she doesn’t see him in that way. 😭 Good Business Partner End: Cupid starts her own company and works with both Shelby and Ryuki to make deals as well as agreements for wedding designs. She keeps trying to get Ryuki to work at her company but he’s so busy with his brand he always refuses lol. Eventually he finally agrees to be her business partner as long as she stops using formal language around him. Honestly while this ending wasn’t romantic, seeing her climb her way to the top and start her own company was incredibly inspiring.

Shelby Snail – Shelby is the sexually repressed salary man company president of Cupid Corporation. He just wants a trophy wife, but is too embarrassed to put himself into the list of bachelors…so he asks his assistant Owen to be his “stand in” which obviously doesn’t really work too well. Clari immediately figures out that Mr. S is probably Shelby but Cupid doubts it and continues working with Owen 😭🤣. For their date Owen brings her the pool saying Mr. S always goes to the pool to work out and relax. While there she finds Shelby swimming and is impressed at his Olympic level swimming skills and is shocked wondering if maybe there’s a possibility Mr. S is him..but keeps telling herself that can’t be true because Shelby told her he’s “married”. It gets even more suspicious when Owen gives her one of those jelly vitamin drinks and tells her that Mr. S always eats these…just like Shelby too. 😏 And so he gets invited to a business dinner but is told to bring his wife that he’s lied about up until now. After the whole Parasite 5 thing ends, he decides to come out and tells Cupid that he’s Mr. S and unmarried. He says the whole misunderstanding of him being married began when some news interviewer said it’s impossible for a corporation that arranges marriages would be run by some unmarried guy. Cupid is worried that if he comes out with the truth thing will go bad, so she offers to pretend to be his wife for a bit. 😂 And now only does she think this is a great idea she even offers to live with him to learn more about him so they can make sure they act the part correctly. 🤣🤣 Shelby’s hair grows more gray just thinking about doing this but he decides to go along with it to save the company from impending doom. He says he will make a contract and pay her extra money for doing this and if something gets uncomfortable she can stop anytime. Cupid lies to Claris saying she has to stay elsewhere temporarily for work reasons, and she and Shelby end up moving together to the old Parasite House that’s no longer being used since it’s one of Shelby’s private residences. Despite beginning their life living together, she barely sees him because he constantly comes home late and wakes up earlier than her to leave to the office.

They end up having the business dinner at the Parasite House to make sure no paparazzi take photos of Cupid. When it’s time for dinner, she dresses up to look more like a “president’s wife” and he’s so amazed at how beautiful she is he’s at loss for words. They lie and say that they were neighbors as kids and have known each other for a while, and that the reason she has never been outside is because she’s very weak health wise. After this the wife who came over spreads the word and now a bunch of other rich couples want to meet his wife as well. Since he’s so busy, Shelby hires a 2nd assistant alongside Owen, and turns out it’s Peter aka Jupiter…aka Chii. 😂 Unfortunately Cupid has no idea that Peter is Chii and doesn’t understand why he appears to know his way around the CC building despite it being his first time there. That night, Cupid tells Shelby he can’t just spend 80% of his day at the office and even though they’re just acting, if he has no intention to ever spend time with his “wife” he should just stop this whole thing. The reason is at some of their home parties, some of the people saw them and said they acted like they were newlyweds despite being “married for 4 years”. He agrees to spend more time with her and offers to at least eat dinner, even going as far saying he’ll actually cook. That said after they talk he basically says he’s unsatisfied with himself despite being a rich number one business owner and that he feels this is the reason he can’t find a wife. He realizes though that he wants to get “married for the purpose of work” and he could never make his past relationships work because the women would be like “do you care about work or me?” But in his mind he feels that without status, nobody would like him in the first place so why are they complaining? After he makes breakfast for her and they eat, she realizes he’s just checking his email and it feels like 2 coworkers eating…so she calls him by his first name and almost makes him choke on his food. 😏😏🤣 After that some paparazzi comes into their yard to try and take pics so they put on a show for him by pretending to make sexy time poses in silhouettes 😭😭😂😂😂.

Ah yes the drunk love confession lol

After this things get awkward because they both start to have feelings for each other beyond pretend marriage. After a rival company gets a photo of Cupid and Shelby together, he decides it’s time to end the farce, and he goes and makes a public apology admitting that he is in fact not married. After this he goes and gets drunk at Bar Loneliness to bury away his depression until Cupid finds him. She comforts him and takes him back home and they both realize they no longer need to live in the house together but neither of them can seem to want to leave. Shelby also realizes his feelings for Cupid have gone beyond the point of no return. The next day on the news the guy who kinda accidentally started the rumor that he’s married apologizes and tells all the single ladies to go after Shelby instead. 😏 After this they get tons of new enrollments in CC members and more interviews and most of the new members wanna marry Shelby. At first Cupid is excited to finally help him…until she realizes she’s jealous because of her growing feelings for him too. He gets a pair of tickets to the amusement park and asks Cupid to go with him, lying that he wants to “practice” before the real thing. The date goes well until the end he wants to tell her his feelings but chickens out. One night he asks to have dinner with her to try to talk things out, but she has plans with Gil and Claris to celebrate Gil’s book release. Claris ends up being late on purpose so that Gil and Cupid can be alone – but on his way to another client meeting Shelby sees Gil and Cupid together and completely misunderstands. The following morning, Shelby tears apart their “fake marriage” contract and tells her that she’s now free of this obligation. Cupid is shocked but knew eventually this day would come so she packs her things and leaves immediately. The reverse then happens when they have a party at CC full of people who went to middle school with Shelby and there Cupid sees him talking happily to a pretty lady and gets upset thinking he’s found a girlfriend too.\(^o^)/ She realizes she’s had her first love and first heartbreak and bursts into tears before leaving the party room. Turns out that lady was just someone who bullied him and made fun of his grades back in middle school and she just wanted to apologize all these years.

This was the reason he became a status parasite – concerned that nobody would like him unless hes #1 in his grades/job status etc. On top of that, the girl who a rich boy named Chris Klein back in middle school NTRed from him because of his “status” comes to talk to him as well. The girl says that Chris got really obnoxious because of his money and even though she dated him, she ended up breaking up with him. Instead she says she met a regular guy in their hometown and is now married with 3 kids. In fact everyone got sick of Chris’ shit after Shelby moved to Los York, and in their mind Shelby was still #1 to them even though he wasn’t a rich boy at the time. Cupid in the meantime buries herself in her work to get over her broken heart. The TV program asks the Parasite 5 to shoot more episodes again and when they all get together Lynette ends up getting drunk on chocolate apparently and passing out on Shelby’s couch. When everyone leaves, Shelby finds her drunk rambling that she’s in love with him but he doesn’t care about her. Hearing this Shelby grabs and kisses her saying she’s the only one he loves but before he can propose to her she drunkenly says I love you too before falling asleep. The next day Cupid wakes up in bed with Shelby – though he only slept next to her since he didn’t want to assault a drunken woman. After Shelby wakes up he explains all the misunderstandings between them and apologizes for everything. Unfortunately Cupid has no memory of her or his love confession or their passionate kiss 😭🤣. A couple days later the rival corp really goes out of their way by not only stealing members from CC but also then kidnapping Shelby and Cupid. Cupid though then uses her arrow to get the kidnappers to do as she says (which is WEIRD because I thought once she falls in love with a human she can no longer use her arrow – but then I realized they really mean after she bangs a human and since she only slept next to Shelby it didn’t count 😂😂😂😏.)

One of my fav ends

Also turns out Owen was the traitor all along, but only because the other company owner (which obviously is Cupid’s dad Mars) has been brainwashing him using gods powers lol. Owen then rages that he didn’t wanna be Shelby’s stand in, and he wanted to look for a spouse too. He hated Shelby and I guess because he was so weak minded Mars was able to take advantage of his soul and brainwash him. He then pulls out a gun and threatens to shoot at them, but then Shelby pulls out his own gun and shoots the gun out of Owen’s hands. Just then the police arrive as Owen falls on the ground foaming at the mouth from being brainwashed so much. Afterwards, they return to the office Cupid runs into her father and is fucking pissed that he’s intentionally tried to sabotage her company lmfao. 😂😂 She gets so mad she shoots her cupid’s arrow and makes him fall in love with the office roomba vacuum cleaner 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣. After Owen recovers he tells Shelby how Shelby once called him a loser idiot (without realizing it’s him) when Owen got rejected at a wedding party and that’s why he accepted the idea of joining a rival corporation and letting Mars brainwash him. Anyway Mars continues hitting on the vacuum cleaner but since nobody but Cupid can see him, this goes on for days 😂😂😂. One evening after work Shelby invites Cupid over to his apartment, rather than the usual Parasite house.  Finally after being cockblocked like 10 times in his route, Shelby confesses his love to Cupid and asks her to marry him. And so she agrees, they bang (for real this time) and then order Chinese takeout. 😸 Several days later they fill out a marriage registration in which Shelby messes up multiple times and has to start over on a new copy lol. With You Anywhere End: Cupid’s a little sad she will no longer be able to see Minerva or Chii once she fully turns human but they will be watching over her.

Mars shows up for her wedding too after apologizing many times to both Cupid Venus and Minerva. 😂 And so Shelby and Cupid get married at CC’s wedding venue and live happily ever after. The World’s a Stage End: HR asks Cupid to become Shelby’s executive assistant and eventually overtakes Owen’s position. They get TOO into their roles to the point that the line between acting like husband & wife starts to blur with reality that she even give him hello/goodbye kisses without a 2nd thought. Pragmatic Love End: Cupid moves in to Shelby’s apartment but they feel like it’s too small for the 2 of them because lol NYC size apartments. They don’t want to always live in his big house cause it’s far away from the office unlike the apartment, so Shelby suggests they find a larger place near the office to move into instead. They run into Claris and Alan who are packing his pillow store plans to travel and Claris wants to find ˜true love˜. Alan offers to sell his living space/store to them since he’s leaving and they take up on his offer so they can open an extension of CC advisor office in the space where Alan’s store was. Shelby even tells Cupid that she’s now the branch manager as well. 🤣🤣 The new side branch is a hit for all the rich ladies living in that area and people who were too shy to entire the huge building. Cupid and Shelby are now engaged secretly as well and eventually plan to get married. Personally, I liked this ending the most because she got to make her career dream come true and get her man as well :D. Treasure Hunter Cupid End: Cupid finds some god symbol writing in the trashcan in Shelby’s room and becomes a hobby parasite like Raul lol. In fact she gets absorbed into this hobby WITH Raul and shrugs off her work and yolo’s off into the sunset. Don’t Cry on the Runway End: Cupid gets scouted as a fashion model for Vague (not Vogue lolol) and decides to take it after being heartbroken by Shelby. She decides to quit being cupid and flies to France to start living for herself lol.

Bruh.

Raul Aconite – Raul is a Shillywood actor and obsessed with greek mythology that once he starts talking about it he NEVER shuts up. Think of your weeaboo friend that can’t stop talking about Naruto and Bleach endlessly circa year 2006 anime cons. 😭😂 When she goes on a date with him, he sits there babbling about renaissance paintings and stories while she’s like “lol none of this happened you humans made this up” internally cause she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings or obviously reveal the truth about herself. When Raul was a child, he ate an oyster and got food poisoning (which I thought was an allergy), unable to breathe and thinking he was going to die. However someone had saved him and he thought it was a greek god. Raul’s manager asks Cupid if they can find someone for Raul to date for a bit and then break up because if he doesn’t experience love, he cannot act it out at all. Cupid of course explains that their agency only works for actual marriages, and the manager wails how he never sees any woman in a romantic way and even her attempts to get him to date other Hollywood stars have all failed. She then starts begging Cupid to teach Raul about love since she’s the top bridal advisor and clearly she can drill this into his head! 😭😂😭😂 He’s only ever done action movies up till now so while he’s good at that, any kind of romantic scenes he just makes the director rage. Not only that but apparently he fucked like a ton of other actresses because apparently fucking everyone in Hollywood is the norm here and that’s why he can’t tell the difference between true love and uh sex friends. 😭🤣 She tells him it’s bad to do this but he’s like “oh just think of it like exercise” and also then invites her to bang him at his house so she can experience it and then decide if it’s bad for herself. WTF xDDDD And she actually agrees omfg. 👺  But as Cupid had expected, nothing about this feels happy or romantic, and the way Raul talks to her, it’s as if they’re at a cafe having coffee together and just chatting about life. The next morning Cupid is in regret because it’s so wrong but she admits it felt SO GOOD HAHAHAHA 😭😭🤣🤣🤣

She remembers how all the gods bang all the time too and was always curious about it herself.  (and honestly I am so confused how it took her thousands of years to come to this revelation though?? lol) Anyway after that, she just goes back to being his “love teacher” and tells him to cut the mythology talk around anyone besides her. He’s surprised that despite banging, she doesn’t go yandere on him and calls him an asshole like most of the women he banged did. ಠ_ʖಠ  In order to try to drill into his head that “making love” and “being in love” with 1 person is a special feeling, he starts refusing sex invites and is less touchy feely with all the ladies he meets. With this his acting improves and he puts more effort into his practice. That said, he gets irritated when girls try to pretend that they like mythology, to try to get close to him because he’s a famous actor. Mythology is like the only sacred thing to him, even more than his own sex or love life. When she goes with him to the mythology fan group she vaguely starts telling everyone about her life in the god world without directly admitting it’s real and more like a “theory of hers”. Everyone including Raul gets so excited about this and thinks it’s an amazing idea lol including the fact that “Cupid may be a woman”.  Afterwards though, all the mythology otaku crowd around her trying to invite her to their house and Raul gets really jealous and immediately takes her out of there. I guess it took him being in the “environment of the one thing he cares about” to understand these feelings. So he ends up taking her back to his place and he bangs her again but even though she thinks at first they shouldn’t be doing this, for some reason she can’t resist and ends up getting into it too LOL. After she wakes up she realizes that this time, it felt different in a sense where it didn’t feel like some “cafe chat” or “exercise” but more passionate. When he wakes up the next morning, Raul is like WHAT IS THIS FEELING THAT I’VE NEVER FELT BEFORE. Also Cupid realizes that last night felt “special” to her, unlike the first night that felt like nothing other than “physical”.

“I’m so glad my aunt didn’t NTR you!”

That night after work Minerva comes to visit Cupid and they have a chat at the cafe, and Minerva says that she once had someone she loved and that banging him was the best thing in her life and she will never forget it lol. After this Raul’s acting in the romance movie becomes better and better but he is still one step away from getting the image the director wants. The reason is he feels that being in love will take time away from his hobbies. 🤣😭  They decide to watch a romantic movie together so they watch Mulan Roge (Rouge lol) so he can see the expressions of the actor to try to improve his own acting.  After they watch a ton of movies, he wakes up to find her playing with his mythology statues and gets excited that she’s not just pretending to like mythology just for him. His movie director gets increasingly frustrated that his romantic scenes aren’t going well so Raul finally agrees to go on a matchmaking date with a candidate that Cupid finds that may accept his mythology obsession. Turns out she’s way more into mythology than him, and tries to follow it exactly so she criticizes his opinion on everything and it doesn’t work out at all lol. He continues to date a bunch of types like this that Cupid finds for him but none of them work out for him at all lol. He doesn’t care though and rather, is glad, because he’s already fallen in love with Cupid anyway. Cupid ain’t having this bullshit half assed sex friend shit though and when he invites her over his place again she promptly refuses and smacks him on the head with her folder when he tries to make out with her in the conference room of her office. Raul is actually shocked someone would reject his invitation to fuck! 🤣 After this he really gets into the idea that Cupid could be a girl but then suddenly a lot of his mythology goods start to mysteriously vanish…because of a stalker. The stalker bitch is one of the people Cupid tried to set up with him but didn’t work out…and she got it in her crazy head that she and Raul are lovers after going on a date for 1 hour LOL.

She tries to stab Cupid but Raul gets in the way and gets stabbed instead while the stalker wacko rambles about how much he ˜cared about her˜ lmao.  Cupid gets tired of her yandere shit and uses her love dispell arrow on the stalker to make her forget her obsession with Raul. She forgets that Raul is watching the whole thing and the first thing he says omg are you Cupid!? He goes into mythology otaku mode and starts flooding her with questions about the god world xD. She tells him to STFU and that as long as she’s on earth she wants him to treat her like a human and his bridal advisor. She ends up going to his place to help him clean up his stab wound cause if he goes to the hospital it will cause trouble or get into the news. When they talk about his past of being saved by Neptune, Cupid explains to him that the one who saved him wasn’t Neptune, but her aunt Minerva. She also then finally reveals to him about how a lot of his greek god statues are totally off from the real thing and he asks her to draw a rough sketch of what they should really look like. 😂 He also reveals that his parents are archeologists and he’s traveled the world a lot when he was younger and also why he really got into mythology. Anyway because of the stabbing he feels a bit mentally scared so he asks Cupid to spend the night and promises he won’t bang her. The pain is so bad that he’s awakened by it at 2AM, and when he looks at her sleeping next to him he realizes he’s in love with her, gives her a couple kisses before going back to sleep himself. The next day he performs his role perfectly that the director is extremely happy. They go to a restaurant and for some reason he’s totally fine eating oysters so it turns out it wasn’t an allergy but just like actual food poisoning. After this Raul’s manager ends the contract with Cupid to stop being his love teacher. But it’s too late now, they are both already in love. So then a couple days later Raul gets invited to go discover some new mythology relic so he invites Cupid to come with him. Since her company has forced her to take 1 week off she agrees.

While they check out the ruins they trigger a trap and fall down a deep hole ending up in what looks like legends of the hidden temple. They go on an Indiana Jones style adventure in the ruins until they reach a dead end and decide to camp there for the night with Raul’s outdoor survival skills. In the end Raul ends up wrestling naked with a Manticore (which looks like a baby chimera). After he defeats the chimera they start walking towards the direction of the wind but as they keep walking they can’t seem to find a way out. Raul starts yelling all the gods names for help and begs Hades not to take Cupid from him because she starts getting a fever. Suddenly they hear the voice of Minerva, and somehow end up in the god’s world. Because she’s back in the god world, Cupid’s body instantly recovers.  The two of them then confess their love to each other and kiss. Once he sinks in the reality that he’s basically in the god world he goes crazy with nervousness and excitement lmfao. 😂 Minerva then shows up saying that once Cupid falls in love and kisses the man she loves, she loses her status as Cupid. (And here I thought they had to bang but I guess since they banged twice before she admitted to being in love with him and nothing happened.) Minerva explains that’s the reason that there’s all these stories about Cupid that she doesn’t know about….they were all from PAST Cupids. Apparently she’s the 87th Cupid and will now live her life as Lynette Mirror. But just when everything seems happy, Minerva betrays them and shoots Raul with an arrow and when he wakes up, he calls himself Alexander the Great. Apparently Minerva was in love with him, and was waiting years for him to be reborn in another human…and that human was Raul. She then used Cupid’s arrow to reverse his personality from his new one, to his old one, aka basically bringing Alexander back to life again in Raul’s body. And the reason she was nice to Cupid is her goal was ultimately to make her fall in love so she’d lose her bow/arrow so Minerva could steal it for herself. She sends Lynette back to earth and tells her to just live her life as a human.

As Lynette returns to earth, suddenly the weather goes crazy on earth with tornadoes and storms everywhere and the sky is turning red.  Suddenly Alexander the great comes on TV saying he’s gonna take over the world lol and everyone is like isn’t that Raul? Is that some new movie he’s making? Red Carpet Love Story End: Since Minerva is the goddess of war, she does basically anything Alexander tells her and all the destruction is because of her. Lynette tries to get Raul to remember who he is before his memory completely is taken over Alexander. He doesn’t listen and then takes his sword out and stabs Minerva – because he remembers that the reason he died was cause Minerva made him some medicine that would make him live forever..but instead it killed him lmfao. 😭🤣 Since she gets KOed and passes out, all the tornadoes stop, and Lynette grabs the cupid arrow from her, and shoots the arrow at Alexander to reverse him and Raul’s personalities back. And so Raul returns back to his old self and Minerva gets imprisoned for 100 years as a punishment. He then stops banging Lynette afraid that he’s no longer good enough for a goddess but she tells him too late bro, I’ve already given up being Cupid lol. And so they bang and act like they’re all nervous because now they’re banging while they are in wuv lmfao. 😅 Afterwards Raul is like “wow I guess it really feels better when you bang someone you love instead of a rando!” And then he asks her to marry him, and not only does she accept but she then decides to become an actress too while continuing her advisor career. They both show up together on the red carpet for the academy awards for their acting in his latest movie. Novelist Cupid and Hobby Parasite End: Lynette decides to write books about Greek mythology and gets lots of fans at the mythology gathering she and Raul go to. They both basically become mythology otakus together happily ever after. Mayor Oyster’s Honor-less Battle End: Lynette eats the wrong oyster and gets really sick from food poisoning. She spends the rest of her days puking in the toilet and then Raul abandons his shoot and goes to Baltimore. She recovers 3 weeks later only to see Raul retiring from acting and deciding to run for Mayor of Baltimore. He decides to protect oysters of Baltimore because if they hurt even a goddess they clearly must be magical and must be protected at all costs! 😭😅🤣 Raul Aconitt’s final battle end: As the world comes to an end, Alexander fights daddy Jupiter with his newly acquired godly powers. Harem Parasite: Cupid decides to use her arrow just this one time and somehow the parasite 5 guys all start fighting over her in a glorious 6P ending 😭😭😅😂😂😂. She doesn’t understand how this happened because cupid arrow is only supposed to last 30 days but it just continues…on and on…At first she’s like yea this is bad if you’re human but I’m a goddess and they do this shit all the time yolo LOLOLOL.  ¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯

Allan Melville – Allan is the NTR parasite, aka he gets off at only going after women who are “taken” by other men, because after all, he’s an incubus. His store he tends to invade the dreams of women who “test out” his pillows and they think that his pillows are the best thing ever. When Cupid sees him doing this she thinks he’s a god, and he has to explain to her that he’s a demon. She’s never heard of demons, and he tells her demons are the exact opposite of gods and that he likes to eat the dreams of women who are “in love”.  He then shows her what he does to all the other women by literally giving her a dream where he bangs her lol. Apparently he turns into the shape of the “ideal man” in every woman’s dream, but seems like in hers it was someone she’s never met before.  👺 When she tells him that he suddenly uses his powers to make it seem like Gil is right there instead confessing his love to her. Cupid gets tired of Alan’s bullshit and kicks him in the nut sack. 🤣😭🤣  And he’s like geez babe I’m just doing the devil’s work here and tells her that he’s one of the nicer demons out there…anyone else would do more than just eat her dreams. He explains that the reason he loves bubble tea so much is since he’s a demon who eats dreams, the tapioca is the only thing he can taste from human food. Bubble Tea confirmed the devil’s food. 🤣🤣 Cupid then offers for Alan to only eat her dreams from now on so he doesn’t attack other humans but he refuses telling her that dreams of women in love are better for him. Unfortunately because of him, many women give up on finding a real love and would rather just enjoy the dreams that Allan gave them lol. Additionally Allan was the one who worked behind the scenes to make sure no other women came to Parasite House cause he wanted one of the other 4 to fall in love with Cupid and vice versa but all of this was in vain. Similar to Minerva, he wants Cupid to fall in love with a human so he can take her arrow. He also cannot go inside dreams of men, so he asks his buddy Succubus to do it – and that Succubus just so happens to be Cupid’s room mate Claris.

Meanwhile Cupid goes to the mythology professor to ask him about Incubus and also learns about Succubus as well. This is the reason that back in the day when Claris moved in with them, Gil started having dreams of banging Cupid cause Claris would show him an image of the woman he most desires. Tired of him ruining things for her company, Cupid decides to shoot him with an arrow so he can experience love. He tells her to stop because any god power, especially her arrow, is lethal to a demon. Not wanting to be a murderer (even if it’s a demon), Cupid takes her own arrow…and falls in love with Allan. She asks him to be her boyfriend for 30 days until the cupid’s arrow effect expires and asks him to only eat her dreams to protect the members of CC. And so they continue this every night, but Cupid starts to get sad that she bangs him in her dreams but not IRL. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And then Allan finds himself falling in love with Cupid too, but is too scared to even kiss her because he thinks since she’s a goddess, it might actually kill him lol. Cupid decides to find out from her god friends and temporarily returns to the god world. When she asks Minerva about Incubuses, she says that most of the dangerous ones have been gone for years, and only the low rank ones are left. When Cupid returns to earth, she runs into Allan in the rain, and realizes how much he hates being a demon and thinks that maybe her feelings for him aren’t just because of her arrow anymore. She asks to kiss him, and he keeps saying no he shouldn’t but gives in and makes out with her in the rain. The two of them then run back to his house to fucc but he continues to say he can’t go through with it because he doesn’t want to defile her. But once again he gives in and they bang and she’s like finally I can bang in reality too!! 😏 And the next morning he admits it was his first time banging IRL because up until now he only did it via dreams. 😳 And turns out Cupid is the first person he has banged in real life lol and he also reaffirms that he is in love with her. Unfortunately there are some bad consequences of an angel and a devil banging, and Cupid begins the process of going from a goddess to a fallen angel.

On her final day of the cupid arrow effect, they go to the beach on a date and he stabs her with a special demon’s knife. He explains that because they banged, by continuing to be Cupid, her lifespan will end within a year’s time. Allan then kills her and takes her soul to the underworld, and runs into Claris there who knew all about his plans to save Cupid. He takes her soul and makes her be reborn as a human Lynette Mirror and now 19 years later she’s in college where Claris is once again there with her to watch over her. The one thing that Lynette still has on her is the bracelet that Allan made for her in her past life….and he continues to watch over her. Apparently her soul is a demon magnet and they constantly try to kill her so he constantly protects her behind the scenes. Her former Cupid soul fragments are strong though and because of that the demons want to eat her, and also why she still looks the same way she did in her past life. In her mythology club she actually attends it with Gil’s and Raul’s nephews, Gyle Lovecraft and Austin Aconite. (Apparently Gil has still not given up on Lynette omfg lmaoo). When she goes to a pool party with her club members, a demon tries to grab her leg in the pool and drown her. Nobody else notices, except Allan, and he jumps in to save her. She has flashbacks like she’s met him in the past and when she asks him for his info to thank him for saving her life – he tells her his name is Guilty, before leaving. The reason this even happened is because she had taken off her bracelet before going into the pool and the power on it has been weakening since it’s been 19 years. They have lunch together a few days later, and he offers to take her to the beach – the place she died at in her previous life. When they go to the beach, Allan tells her not to take off her bracelet before swimming and always keep it on.

As Lynette spends more time with him, memories of her past, including the time before this game began, come flooding in. Meanwhile Allan realizes he’s still in love with her but vows to stay away from her. Unfortunately it’s too late and as her memories keep coming back, her cupid necklace reappears on her neck. On top of that, when she goes on a trip to Greece with her mythology club, her bracelet tears off and the demons immediately attack her. Allan saves her, and suddenly she remembers him, his kiss with her, and his real name. When she remembers everything she asks if Allan was the one who made her human, realizing he’s the one who’s been protecting her this whole time. He starts making up lies so that she doesn’t fall in love with him again and turn right back into cupid. He also explains other than the 12 main gods, all the other gods, including Cupid, are just used & reused. That’s why he’s seen all the previous cupids come and go, and if she became human then she wouldn’t get destroyed by the gods again. He wants to try to take her soul and start over again but she tells him that if she’s gonna live with forgetting about him, she would rather die. Just then Jupiter, comes cock blocking in saying he was looking for Cupid for 20 years. Allan refuses to let her go back to Dii Consentes, but Jupiter just grabs Lynette by the arm before he can do anything. Jupiter then zaps poor Allan with lightning and literally drags Lynette back to Dii Consentes where she fully returns to her Cupid form. Mars, Venus and Mineva just tell her that she’s been fooled by a demon. They tell her that without Cupid’s arrow they weren’t able to break up bad relationships that were formed from Cupid Corporation. Lynette shuts them all up by telling them that they didn’t tell her that she was gonna die by using up all her powers shooting those arrows. Minerva tries to sway her feelings by revealing that Claris was a Succubus and Lynette’s like “oh that’s why she banged dudes every night she’s just like girl Allan!” 😂😂😂 After this Mars tells her that Jupiter’s orders are for her to rest and not use her powers until further notice.

Sweet Devil

Lynette realizes Mars was only being nice to her because she is Cupid, and once he’s freed from that role he wouldn’t hesitate to strike her down.  Even though it hurts her to do it, she uses her Cupid’s arrow to make the 2 guards fall in love with her and gets them to let her out so she can run back to Allan. She finds him weakened in his demon form and laying in bed in his apartment saying he no longer has the strength to turn into his human form. He then says “I want to see you in heaven again” as he vanishes in her arms – returning to the demon world to recover. Just then Claris comes in and reveals that Allan was like her son that she raised cause he one day fell from the sky in front of her. He then worked hard to become the top demon, so he could get access to the special demon book of knowledge, where he found out about how to save Lynette from the fate of Cupid. After this Lynette returns to Dii Consentes, where the guards tell her that since Juno is MIA, she now has to take that role and Cupid will go to someone else. Not only that, but Juno was Jupiter’s wife, so by taking on that role, Lynette will need to marry him lol. As she runs away once again, she remembers her past with Allan. 500 years ago, apparently she and Allan were a pair of twin angels up in heaven and they were there until the gods came to give them a “mission”. The mission was to bless humans on earth because they were servants to the gods. Jupiter then assigned her to be Cupid, and her halo broke as she was pulled out of the holy sea away from Allan. Jupiter suggested since they were soulmate angels it was bad to separate them but Mercury said justdealwithit.gif. Allan refused to let go of her hand, and as a punishment, Mercury ripped one of his wings off, and he became a fallen angel instantly falling from the sky in the underworld. The moment she entered the god world, all her memories with Allan were wiped away. They basically lied to her that Mars and Venus were her parents, when in fact she was born an angel completely away from them, and her only true “family” was Allan. Angry at how gods just use angels like disposable plates, Lynette decides to become a demon like Allan and escape the gods once more. Meanwhile Allan who is still injured in the underworld comes back to earth and after overhearing that Lynette has to become Juno, he tries to fly back up to Dii Consentes to save her.

Because he’s weakened he ends up falling once again in some dejavu but just then Lynette, flying from above catches him. 🥰 She uses a special godly power and brings Allan in his demon form to the holy sea, where they were both born. He tells Lynette he loves her, but he’s no longer fit for her because of all the sins he’s committed as a demon. She doesn’t care and they both realize they cannot be apart from their other half, so he kisses her and they both become demons. (they also don’t wanna go back to being angels cause when they were angels they couldn’t talk) The Fallen Angels Love Song End: Lynette and Allan run his pillow store together and since they’re both demons they can kiss/bang all they want without anyone dying (and in fact doing so actually gives her energy since he’s an elite demon lmao). Somehow though she’s become a demon no different from a human, she still eats human food and doesn’t need to eat dreams like Allan. Allan also tells Lynette how the pillow store was previously owned by a granny whose husband passed away and he began helping out. After a while they became good friends and she left the store to him while she went to travel the world lol. Lynette’s new demon powers also allow her to see if someone’s relationship will go well, almost like a  fortune teller and she puts those powers into the pillows she sells. When they were angels, Lynette’s fav thing to do was do pretend weddings, so for old times sake Allan tells her to do it again….as he slips an engagement ring on her hand and asks her to marry him. Catch Me in Los York End: Lynette tells Allan (who she only knows as Guilty) that she’s in love with him after finding out he’s watched over her her whole life, despite being a demon. Allan tells her to live a normal life and not be swayed by a demon like him. She doesn’t give up but since it seems like she’s forgotten all her memories of her previous life he figures it’s ok to be with her for now. They end up moving in together until she “finds a human to fall in love with over him”. He even sneaks into her mythology classes in his demon form where nobody else can see him. She wants him to stay a demon cause she thinks if he uses his human form all the ladies will flock to him. 😏 Voiceless Happiness End: Lynette uses Juno’s powers to return herself and Allan back into voiceless angels, but they are once again happy together. Jupiter sees this and lets them go and quietly apologizes to himself for separating them many years ago. Never Let Me Go End: Lynette becomes a succubus who has to actually eat dreams like Allan but she hates having to eat other randos dreams so now she and Allan go around finding couples and then have a “dream 4P” with them LMAO. Allan feels guilty for having defiled her but she’s happy being a sex demon so all good I guess ¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯.

Using your boyfriend as a personal massager ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

Jupiter/Peter – Many years ago, the goddess of marriage, Juno, and Jupiter’s wife vanished suddenly. Mars and Jupiter then suggest that Cupid go study in college and learn about human behavior so they can figure out the reason for the failing marriage rate without Juno. (Which is different than her running away on her own in the other routes.) With her comes a holy beast named Chii, who is given to her by Jupiter…but in actuality it’s Jupiter himself who’s there to watch over her secretly.  (Honestly this was blatantly obvious since literally the first route to me lol.)Her apartment is also taken care of by Mars so she  doesn’t have Gil or Claris as her room mates, but Gil is still her classmate. So just like in Allan’s route, the reason they both sent Cupid on earth is to train her to become the next Juno. So anyway Cupid continues her studies while living with furry-form Jupiter who she treats like a pet and gives baths too…and use his horns as an electric shoulder massager 🤣🤣🤣. In order to try to get her to fall in love with a human, Allan then becomes a professor in her Mythology class. When Jupiter sees him, he realizes he’s Cupid’s soulmate. In the past Cupid was originally supposed to be chosen as the god of war and Allan as Cupid, but Jupiter asked to swap them. Jupiter tries to talk to Allan about saving Cupid, but Allan is angry that Jupiter was the one who split them and why Allan fell from the heavens and became a demon. Not wanting to start a battle and hurt bystanders, Jupiter shoots a bolt in front of Allan and runs away. Apparently Jupiter’s goal was the same as Allan’s, to save Cupid’s soul from dying by turning her into Juno instead – as Cupid’s soul diminishes every time she shoots the arrows. In order to try to be more human he decides to take the name Peter Flash and ends up working at Cupid Corp to keep an eye on Cupid. He has to learn all about wearing clothes and using a computer lol. Mars and Venus actually come to Cupid’s matching party to cheer her on rather than sneaking behind the scenes so this route is a bit different from all the other ones. Additionally there’s no “parasite 5” that she’s put in charge of and she runs into some of them at the marriage party during her internship at Cupid Corp.

At the wedding party she sees Owen and Melanie looking like they’re hitting it off and decides to help them out by shooting her arrow. Unfortunately she accidentally hits Chii, who immediately transforms back into Peter aka Jupiter. Not only that but he is absolutely head over heels for her now because of that arrow 😂.  Unfortunately Cupid doesn’t realize that Peter = Jupiter and just assumes it’s still “Chii but in human form” and asks him to just be in his beast form so he’s easier to “deal with” lol. Jupiter’s excited to finally learn about “romantic love” because up till now he’s only known “friendship love” with Juno despite her being his “wife”. He continues to show Cupid affection, but she still thinks it’s just “human form Chii” so she sees it like an affectionate pet or something. Jupiter tells Cupid to never use the arrow again (because it will take her life.) She agrees to “date” him to teach him about love, and somehow they both go to see some porno in the movie theater (and I’m inclined to throw in those Sexual Love jokes from Amnesia 🤣🤣🤣🤣). After that they watch a less horny romantic comedy movie at home instead and then Jupiter asks Cupid if he can kiss her to see what it’s like. Cupid is like yea sure I always wanted to try it myself but then he gets so into it she has to eventually tell him to stop lmao. But as usual she just thinks it’s some “animal instinct”. When Cupid inquires him about Jupiter’s “history with women” he says he has never done such lewd things and it’s all lies and he doesn’t like being around women (with Cupid being the only exception) 😂😂😂 He tells her how while some earth mythology books are inaccurate, the ones about Jupiter are accurate such as how his father Chronos ate all his sons…except Jupiter because Jupiter’s mother replaced him with a rock. Jupiter then ran off to earth and was raised by a nymph in hopes of one day saving all of his eaten brothers. He was told if he’s not careful Chronos will swallow him too, so he’s been sensitive to danger from then on hence why he’s so scared of everything. One day Jupiter runs into Allan, and since Allan thinks he’s just the heavenly beast and not Jupiter himself, Jupiter reveals his plan to save Cupid: By having her experience 6 different kinds of love, she will earn the ability to become Juno and not “die” from her job as Cupid. The 6 kinds of love are the 6 love types introduced at the beginning of the game – 5 of which we’ve already done in the other routes. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

The problem is Jupiter has yet to find the 6th type – not realizing I’m on his route, Storge, and he’s that 6th type xD. Additionally as they talk further they realize the reason that Lynette was even chosen as the current Cupid is because the previous one got destroyed by someone who stole his arrow…and they realize that someone is Minerva, as she’s the only one who burned her hands touching it and now covers them with gloves. As usual, Minerva’s reasoning is the same as in Raul’s route – to awaken Alexander the Great. They agree to work together, but meanwhile Jupiter has trouble living with Lynette because every time he sees her he just wants to bang her and doesn’t want to be the manwhore like he’s portrayed as in mythology so he holds himself back lol. After Lynette does the best numbers in successful marriages, that’s when Shelby finally assigns the Parasite 5 to her. This time though, he doesn’t beat around the bush, and he immediately tells her he’s the Status Parasite and is unmarried. 😏 After they do some basketball game with the 5 parasites, Peter gets added as the 6th one as “Sensitive Parasite” because he’s so sensitive to everything. A couple days later Jupiter invites her on a date and suddenly Lynette realizes that soon the effect of her Cupid’s arrow will wear off. On the final night of the Parasite House filming everyone gets drunk and passes out, so Allan takes the opportunity to eat her dream – aka she ends up having a dream where she bangs Jupiter cause she’s already fallen in love with him. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) They go on their final date but even after the cupid arrow effect is supposed to expire, Jupiter’s feelings don’t change. Meanwhile, in the underworld, Juno rescued a mysterious figure and betrayed Jupiter to do so, but that figure ends up killing her and aims for Jupiter next. And then this mysterious figure, who apparently is the real Zeus and Jupiter’s older brother, shows up. He then vanishes, so Allan tells Lynette to immediately return to Dii Consentes and then Peter grabs her and flies up there with her. When they arrive she immediately figures out that Peter = Chi = Jupiter cause he’s like “uh brb gotta change to my real form” 🤣🤣.

Now that the cat’s out of the bag, Jupiter explains that Zeus is Jupiter’s twin brother and the “stone” that Chronos ate. Zeus was also against gods “separating” from humans, and guiding them from above and wanted to continue to mix with them. He started zapping those who disagreed with him, so the other gods decided to seal him away in the underworld…until Juno, aka Hera, who loved him decided to free him except he then killed her lmao. So back in Dii Consentes Venus blurts out that Lynette might have been an angel in the past but then is like oops I mean ask Jupiter. Curious, Lynette heads for the heaven’s door until she runs into Jupiter – who asks her to cut the formalities and says he will also call her Lynette. She then tells Jupiter she wants to know more about her past so he takes her to heaven and tells her the truth that we saw revealed in Allan’s route. He also says he liked watching Lynette when she was still an angel because she was very curious, and when she officially left heaven he was happy to be able to hear her voice as angels cannot speak. He also tells Lynette that when she only uses her love arrows, her life withers away faster but if she varies it up with hate arrows (like how she got one of Allan’s customers to break off an abusive relationship), it balances the cupid gauge and saves her life span. He then finally admits how he split her off from her twin angel Allan but couldn’t stop it because Mercury had decided, but says he deeply regretted it. He then starts crying when Lynette forgives him, so she gives him a hug. (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。Before he can confess his love to her again, Zeus and his demons come crashing like a wrecking ball creating a hole in the barrier Jupiter put up. Zeus also then reveals that he actually swallowed Juno and Pluto to take their powers and plans to do the same to all the other gods here.

Jupiter is terrified because he’s always lived in his brother’s shadow and his brother was an ambitious power greedy psychopath. Venus tells Jupiter and Lynette that because Zeus banged so many ladies he began to hate the idea of love (and it’s also the reason most women hated Jupiter thinking they were the same person lmao). Allan then strolls in and suggests that if they bring the 6 types of love, aka the Parasite 6, they could defeat him. When Jupiter tells them this and asks for their help, everyone is like WTF except Raul of course who thinks it’s interesting lol. In order to truly convince them, Jupiter turns back into his god form and makes Raul foam at the mouth lmao. Allan then turns into his demon form to further make Raul flip his shit. 🤣🤣🤣 And finally Lynette turns into her cupid form and shocks everyone lmao. Just then Zeus comes down outside of Cupid Corp, using his powers and turns any humans nearby into his zombies. He kidnaps Lynette and then brings he to some church while he rages that humans thought he and Jupiter were one and the same and that cupid got more popular than him. ಠ,_」ಠ HE THEN JUST WHIPS OUT HIS DING DONG AND IS LIKE ITS RAEP O CLOCK because apparently when he said he’s gonna “swallow” he didn’t mean it via the mouth. Σ(ಠ_ಠ) What a god damn HENTEI 😅😭🤣👺 SUDDENLY ALL THE OTHER GUYS BURST IN AND THEIR FIRST REACTION “HOLY SHIT WHAT A BIG DIKKU” (;ಥ▽ಥ) CUE ME HOWLING IN THIS SCENE LMFAOOOO. Also for some reason Zeus is revealed to be a hermaphrodite too.ಠ_ಠ

While everyone is foaming at the mouth at his wiener, Lynette is like uh a little help over here?? 😭🤣 They inform Zeus that his plan to charm the human race has failed because of Venus, Succubus and Raul’s gravure photos. 🤣🤣 And then also Shelby’s done a free registration campaign at C.C. while Gil’s written a book of all his love letters to Lynette lmao. So then all the guys say their love type out loud and Lynette uses it as powers to shoot a 6 love type arrow into Zeus. (I want to pretend she shot him in the dick because he still didn’t have his pants on in his sprite) 🤣🤣🤣 They turn him back into a rock with Cupid’s arrow and Jupiter returns with Lynette back to Dii Consentes, while earth returns to normal. All the other guys are up in Dii Consentes too because now they’re also all in love with her cause she had to shoot all of them with arrows to stop Zeus. 😭😭🤣🤣 She runs to talk to Jupiter who tells her he sent her to study abroad to learn about marriages so she would be ready to become Juno and not die as Cupid. Lynette immediately agrees and kisses him and he’s like OMG really don’t you need time to decide and she’s like nah I love ya lol. And then he like bites her (????) because apparently that’s how he showed affection when he was his Chii form lmfao. And then dey fucc I guess lol. In the epilogue, Jupiter and Lynette make sure to change Dii Consentes and heaven around so that no more angels like Lynette and Allan are ever sacrificed again. They visit earth and see all the other guys continue with their careers like Raul playing Jupiter’s role in his movie or Ryuki making clothes based on Jupiter and Venus’s outfits. Allan becomes the dark lord of the underworld too. I had a difficult time deciding between Jupiter and Allan but ultimately I’ve settled on Jupiter cause he’s so pure and shy and the weird 4P end with Allan put him slightly below for me because of that (even though I know it’s not his faaullttt ;u;).

Incredibly enjoyable game! ( ◠‿◠ ) I laughed so much to the point that I was like scream/howling in some of the routes. My favorite ended up being Peter, with Allan very close. Coming in I thought Gil was gonna be my fav but I think they used him as a plot device/made fun of him so much that by the end he was just a crazy dude to me but I did admire his persistence at first lol. He was really sweet to Lynette and I also ended up liking Ryuki of course because as usual, TSUNDERE. I kinda expected more from Shelby and Kenn and I honestly found Shelby more interesting in some of the off side ends lmao. The one I couldn’t stand the most was Raul but I did find his comments hilarious in Peter’s route so he was slightly redeemed there. One of the god side charas who I really liked at first turned out to be an antagonist which really sucked because I thought they were funny and interesting at the start oh well lol. Mars and Venus were also pretty hilarious in their own way even if they annoyed me at the start. All the common scenes at the beginning with the guys were great and one of my favorite things about the game was all the VARIETY of endings. Normally I’m like “bleh gotta run through these shitty pointless bad ends where the heroine will just die or something” but this time it wasn’t like that at all. All the endings were unique and interesting and some were just WTF😂😂😂😂 that I enjoyed going through all of them. I loved Lynette as a heroine, she definitely had a personality and the parts of her learning about the human world were hilarious. She wasn’t perfect and she had her mistakes too (especially in Raul’s route good lord) but overall I thought she was great and a great career focused woman in a lot of the routes. The Los York setting was particularly my favorite because I’ve never been to Los Angeles but there was a LOT of NY stuff that jumped out at me. I even recognized one of the streets they used as a background! XD

If there’s a fandisk in the future I would instantly buy it so I really hope the game does well and Otomate considers one for it. If you weren’t sure whether or not to get this game, get it, I highly highly recommend it. 👍👍👍

My one and only complaint is the terrible UI choices. Seriously what in the hell my eyes are burning lmao and the really long loading time between “jump to next choice”.

12 thoughts on “Otome Game Review: Cupid Parasite

  1. I was waiting for this review since I read your tweets. I was about to sleep when I saw the notification and read some summary and the final thoughts because I was thinking about playing this game in not so near future:) I was shocked when I learnt one of the characters was a pillow seller and now that all makes sense.

    1. Yea honestly it’s now my favorite game of the year, even better than Bustafellows. Bustafellows had a lot of sickeningly terrible bad ends but this one pretty much had funny/interesting/weird ends all around so overall it was much more enjoyable!

  2. I’m so glad you enjoyed the game!
    I recently ordered the game because I thought the story and characters looked interesting and just now noticed that you actually reviewed it!
    My Japanese still needs a lot of improvement so your reviews really help to understand what’s going on. So thank you for the detailed review as well as the time and effort you put in writing it!

    1. Yea I got a tablet recently so I’ve been able to just type away as I play the game in bed so I ended up writing a novel xD
      Glad it helps you though I hope you enjoy the game!

  3. The color and UI style in this game maybe inspired from Voltage game : Liar Uncover the truth or ダウト, with the badass mc works as wedding planner and surrounded by liar guys, where she needs to find her mr. Right.

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