Mobage Review: Watashi no Kareshi, Hen Nandesu!

So we have “my bofyriend is a weirdo”. It looks like its by the same makers as the Tulip game since the system appears to be identical. Story is you’re a college student (whose name I made Iijima Ami using a name generator) studying psychology, and you get to pick from 4 weirdos to get with: a siscon, a yandere, a sports hetare and your psychology professor. Let the games begin!

Souta – I went with the sports hetare first. He’s 20 years old and is in the tennis club. One day when they’re hanging out and Ami falls asleep, Souta kisses her and then he’s so embarrassed at what he did he begins avoiding her. When she tries asking him what happened, he almost confesses but gets cockblocked by the teacher. So then before he can confess, suddenly Ami’s mother falls ill and she rushes to the hospital to see her. Unfortunately her mother immediately dies. Since her father’s passed away a while ago and brother went MIA, her mother was the only relative she had left. She ended up crying with Souta  comforting her at the hospital. Afterwards Souta worked up the courage and asked Ami out and I guess driven by emotions she immediately agreed. Anyway the two begin dating and it’s all cute until suddenly Ami’s step bro shows up and he’s a HUGE SISCON. ／(^o^)＼ﾅﾝﾃｺｯﾀｲ Apparently he’s been MIA for 4 years (most likely due to his siscon so he needed to GET AWAY) and when Souta finds out he’s not blood related he starts getting worried. Just then the college yandere senpai guy confesses to her and she’s like “but I’m dating Souta” and he’s like “yes I know so please date me too!?” Lmao eventually she gets him off her back but now Souta feels even more depressed than before. The senpai dude makes fun of the plastic ring that Souta bought for Ami but Ami tells him to f off and that she requested the ring herself. Feeling bad about it, Souta asks if Ami wants to go buy a real ring to make up for all of this. So then he gets involved in some experiment by the sensei and his hetare levels go over 9000 where he starts saying how he’s a loser and he deserves to die ( ≖Д≖；).

Not only that but he starts losing his memories of simple things like when he wore bunny ears or when he bought Ami that cheap ring. One day when he comes to tell her to come see his new puppy they hear screams by the river and see that Ami’s neighbor’s cat is drowning. Souta jumps in after it to save it, but ends up drowning himself because he can’t swim. Some random dude saves him and after he realizes how pathetic he is, he goes into his depressing mode and says he should die and tries jumping in the river again. When he finally calms down, he finds out that the cat, Tamao is a boy and he instantly grabs it and THROWS IT IN THE RIVER. OH MY GODDDD DUDE are you serious. ಠ_ಠ Way to make me hate you Souta you asshat. So then a few days later he invites Ami to see his new dog and the dog house he made for it. When Ami says it’s getting chilly a few hours later, HE SETS THE DOG HOUSE ON FIRE. It makes both Ami & the dog cry and he apologizes as he kisses her in his room. Ami is upset because she knows he won’t remember anything because he’s just been trippin’ balls lately. And so being the mobage failure that I am, I ended up on Souta’s normal end where the sensei tells Ami the only way to cure his insane obsession over her is to either 1. break up with him or 2. erase his memory of Ami but it gives them a chance to start over. Souta overhears this and says he has the confidence to fall in love with Ami again so they go with option 2. The epilogue features Ami visiting Souta playing tennis and picking up a ball that rolled over to her. They introduce each other and he says he has a nostalgic feeling when talking to her and I guess they live happily ever after again? XD;

Ryuuichi – Ryuuichi is Ami’s older step-brother so we got some non-blood related stuff going on here. The story is pretty standard: Bro in love with his step sis, he realizes it’s wrong so he “runs away from home”. This time though after running away from home he becomes a YAKUZA LEADER :lol:. He comes back and Ami is happy to see him but he’s still a massive siscon and she knows it. She tries to get to know his yakuza friends better to see the uh “bright side” of things but it doesn’t quite work out. Whenever Ryuuichi sees other dudes hitting on her he breaks into his kansai ben and threatens them with a GORRRYAAAA manner XDD. Since he has a huge dragon tattoo on his back he can’t even go swimming in a public pool so he has to end up being covered up on a lounge chair while Ami swims alone. Souta is still in love with Ami in this route and so he starts kinda stalking her by always coming to her house and bringing her random food like crabs or clementines. One day when he brings over crab, before he can confess his feelings to Ami, Ryuuichi comes out raging with a gun pointing at poor Souta. Souta’s like “your fake toy gun doesn’t threaten me because I lo-” and before he can finish, Ryuuichi shoots at him but misses enough so that the bullet only grazes his hair. Souta is shocked and Ami is freaking out using excuses like “organic bullets” to try to make Souta leave and to calm her crazy siscon bro down. Deciding to try and put a stop on Ryuuichi’s yakuza activites, our dumb heroine Ami walks up to the YAKUZA BOSS and goes “umm can you please stop my brother from working” and the guy’s like lol how about no.

Not only that but he tells Ami that when she was ill in the hospital, Ryuuichi borrowed money from the yakuza for her hospital bills and that’s the reason he’s there in the first place. He tells her that he must now leave the house so that the yakuza don’t target her but Ami cries saying she wants to live with him. He tells her that if he does she won’t be able to get married but Ami’s like idgaf as long as I can live with oniitan!! And so Ryuuichi finally tells her that if he stays she must stop thinking of him as her brother because for like god knows how long he’s been in love with her as a man *dramatic music*. Fortunately, Ami is a brocon and says she loves her oniichan and they make out. The next day in school yandere senpai dude asks her to come to his house and even though Ami’s refused him a million times, she agrees to go so she can finally tell him that she’s taken. I don’t know why she has to go to his house to tell him this but he goes into yandere mode saying that her oniitan is IN THE WAY because she has ALWAYS belonged to HIM! (yanderelogic.txt) He almost kills Ryuuichi but then Ryuuichi burns down the fake painting his father had and Ami claims that she’s a massive brocon. The dude just gives up leaving Ami with her oniitan. So then it turns out Ryuuichi had 2 copies of the real painting stashed someplace so he ends up selling them on the black market, paying off all his debt and leaving the yakuza. With the remaining money he and Ami open up a cafe together but he’s still got yakuza in his blood so he rages at any men who try to talk to her XDDD. Strangely enough, I ended up getting the super happy ending on my own without a guide! I must be a closet brocon or something lol.

Mahiru – Mahiru is the yandere senpai and well since he was ultimately the stalker bad guy in oniitan’s route, it’s already difficult to like him from the start. After Ami’s mother dies, her bro and dad have been MIA she’s pretty much left alone. Mahiru takes advantage of this and basically asks her to be his girlfriend at her weakest moment. Ami of course agrees and Mahiru pretty much stalks her, taking her to school in his limo etc. Because of this jealous bitches start bullying her. Mahiru of course will not be having any of this so using his money & power he makes it so all the bitches who bully Ami, quit the university. Not only that but any guy who talks to her, even a grandpa asking directions, Mahiru immediately calls his SWAT team to “take care of”. One guy he has hit by a car and another guy they take him into the car and he’s never seen again. He warns Ami not to talk to any “strange men” and Ami is terrified. (God this is why I hate yanderes.) She goes to her psychology professor for advice in “curing yandere” but he said he has never tried to do this before.  Things start getting worse when in order to get Ami to come to his house, Mahiru attempts to blow up her house so she doesn’t have a house to return to. ( ≖Д≖；) To get him to not blow her house up Ami agrees to go to his place. The next day in school, Souta decides  that since they can’t be friends (due to Mahiru’s jealous) that he’ll just confess his feelings to Ami to get it off his chest. Unfortunately Mahiru is right there but Ami warns him not to do anything drastic and tells Souta straight out that she doesn’t have feelings for him. The next day oniitan asks Ami to go to the amusement park with him forcing her to reject Mahiru’s invitation for a date. At the amusement park, Ryuuichi tells her that he’s a yakuza and that he loves her as a woman not a sister.  He tells her that Mahiru is a wacko and that if she’s gonna be with one of the lesser evils, then she’s better off with oniitan.

Mahiru finds out about their little date and takes Ami to his house telling her to live there. Ami can’t deal with his yandere psychopathic ways so she tells him she’s going home. He already of course had everything planned in advance, put sleeping powder into her tea and when she falls asleep, he takes her to a private shack in the woods for just the two of them. Happy uguu shack of love! So needless to say he pretty much locks her up in a room and despite her saying she wants to have separate rooms, he says he’ll “come by” ( ´_ゝ｀).  He only lets her out to do things like shower or eat. Not only that but he then hands in a drop-out notice to her college saying that since he’s loaded with money, she doesn’t need an education or a career. ( 　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ) Afraid he’ll attack her at night, Ami puts some traps and items in front of her door so…..Mahiru instead climbs up on the roof and peeks at her like a creeper through her sky window. ( .;´;_ゝ;｀:,);ﾞ;｀;:ﾞ;｀;:ﾔﾒﾃﾖ When talking to him about his childhood the following day, Ami realizes that he’s been a yandere ever since he was a shota wanting to rip off a fairy’s wings so it would be with him forever. She tries to escape out of her room by tying sheets together and climbing out of her window but he has alarms set so he catches her anyway. (ﾟﾛﾟ；) He then takes her to a place in the woods with a swing and Ami suddenly has flashbacks of coming there in the past with him. She then remembers things when he tells her how they were “engaged” at age 5 or more like a contract because her mom needed money after her dad died in a car accident. So then he pretty much has been stalking her ever since and when he tries to kiss her, Ami pushes him away. A few days later Ryuichi breaks in saving Ami but what does she do? She decides to go back to cray cray Mahiru instead. I got the normal end where basically she promises to be by his side as long as he promises not to go nuts and hurt others. She ends up living with him together and unfortunately being the victim of his animal cosplay fetishes :lol:.

Kyouichirou  – Kyouichirou (which I’ll just shorten to sensei for now) is Ami’s psychology professor doing all sorts of wacky experiments. His goal is world domination so he joins the rest of the wackos for Ami’s dating pool sigh. It all starts out when she volunteers to become his assistant in order to save Souta and she figures it would be a good learning experience. He then asks her to play “pretend lovers” and as a thanks for assisting him, he buys her an expensive dress at a shop. Things get pretty awkward but he continues keeping a safe distance despite Mahiru being pissed about him hitting on a student. Things get even more weird for Ami when she finds out about her brother being 1. in love with her and 2. in the yakuza and leaving her alone again. She goes to sensei for comfort and of course he lets her cry in his arms. Eventually Ami confesses her feelings to sensei but he rejects her, at the same time as Souta confessing his feelings to Ami and being rejected by her. It’s all a lie of course he only rejected Ami because of his status as a teacher but in fact he really does love her. In school Mahiru confesses to Ami so now she’s got 3 dudes who confessed to her but the guy she loves tells her not to come by his office anymore. Before she can ask why some other woman comes into sensei’s office and Ami leaves. So then sensei tells Ami that he lost his ability to do hypnosis so to make him feel better she asks him to hypnotize her. She pretends to fall asleep but as she closes her eyes she feels him kissing her. She asks him why he did this and he says no reason and that’s when Souta bursts in the room raging that Kyouichirou is ignoring Ami’s feelings. She goes to talk to sensei a few days later and he’s pissed saying because of her he can’t focus on his psychology research. He pins her against the wall and kisses her but she pushes him away. He’s like “isn’t this what you wanted” and then Ami runs off. Later after school she sees him with that woman from before and the woman’s like I LOVEEEUUUU but Ami gasps and says “sensei” loud enough for him to hear. He dumps the ho and runs to Ami saying this isn’t what it looks like. The following day he’s absent from school and Ami talks to one of the teachers there who informs her that Kyouchirou’s been accepted to do research at a university in America. When Ami goes to talk to him about it he tells her how his younger brother who was 19 was in love with that woman who jumped all over him. He confessed to her before he died and since Souta looked like his brother, and he was in love with Ami, sensei didn’t wanna cockblock him once again. Despite this he still harbored feelings for Ami and that’s why he kept rejecting her. So since I failed to get a good end with everyone except oniitan (orz), I got the normal end with sensei. Basically he tells Ami to wait for him as he goes to work in America for 2 years and he will come back to her after she graduates. Souta tells him that if he doesn’t come back to her, he will take Ami away from him.

Wow this game took me like 8 months to play all the characters lol. Actually it was pretty interesting with psychology being the background since I took psychology back in college. The makers actually made that tulip game I reviewed earlier this year except this one was more entertaining and had less car accidents 😆 I don’t know what it says about me when I got normal ends with all the guys except the step-brother, but overall I think it was a good game to play. It’s a shame games like this don’t get ported to PSP rather than dumb crap like eyeless kare. Also coulda done without all the poor cat abuse （；^ω^）. As always this is available on Mobage for free.